The Ether Diaries
(I wrote this while I was off my meds and hyper as hell)
I am chronicling my past visions and theories from my experiences with ether so as to protect them from my failing memory.
I will first describe my ritual. The way my room is set up, i've got my bed along one wall, a dresser on the opposite side, and a window on the side perpendicular to those sides and a closet that is about 3 feet deep. In that closet there is a black chest about 4 feet long, 1 foot high and 1.5 feet deep. There are nice shirts hanging above the chest. Some are in dry cleaning plastic, some are just hanging. Each night I would sit on that black chest with an old cotton t-shirt in one hand and my can of ether in the other. On the opposite side of the room was a little stereo on which I would play a mixed Beatles CD. I would anticipate that first deep breath of ether and the feeling that would soon follow. I'd put the nozzle of the can in the t-shirt and spray until i could feel the cold through the other side of the t-shirt so as not to waste any of that sweet vitriol. I cover my nose and breathe deeply. I knew it was taking efect when i began to salivate. After each breath of ether I would lean back and let the music wash over me like waves. I came up with many theories, ideas, and peculiarities during this period between breathes of ether. I would have many instances of deja vu and feel as if my actions, thoughts, and words were familiar some how. The first time I heard the song Yellow Submarine was when I was high on ether yet I could distinctly (by distinctly I mean vaugely becasue at this point i was in the grips of the ether) remember hearing one particular strain of that song coming through from behind the wall many years ago but what I had heard wasn't a real part of the song. It was as if it were being sung by jumping fleas with high-pitched voices (if flea's had voices that is). This was the main thing many of my theories and ponderings centered around. It's hard to remember ALL of my thoughts and ideas but I can remember a few.
The Familiar Song
I came to the conclusion (while I was high on ether) that the song was familiar even though I'd never heard it before because there was actually a yellow submarine just behind the wall. Not a full-size submarine, mind you, but perhaps a miniature sub. In any case I was convinced it existed. At times I would strain to hear some sign of the submarine like the sound of a body of water, the music, or submarine sounds. I never did find out if that submarine existed.
Jumping Fleas
This is a harder concept for me to remember due the the circumstances under which it was arrived. It was usually after 10 or 12 ether breaths and I was securelyh in the clutches of the ether and the music would distract me and i would lose my train of thought. Here's what i can remember: At first I would see a series of jumping fleas all humming in unison a certain portion of Yellow Submarine. They weren't so much fleas as points as i began to focus more on the actual being of them. The more I would concentrate on what they looked like, the smaller they would become. Later, I came up with a theory that they were not fleas at all but that I was seeing the sound waves. This is all that I am currently able to remember.
Theory of Repetitive Action
When I was high on ether and was groovin to the music, I would often times become locked in a motion. For example, many times i would move my head around in circles. I would sometimes carry on this motion for as long as 30 minutes . I felt like i never wanted to stop doing it and when i did finally stop it, i felt kinda bummed out. The repetitive motion gave me a wierd sort of comfort. From what i've heard of meth, similar things happen with that. THese things happen to everyone on a day to day basis but on a larger scale. This could explain why people often continue past actions (also known as habits) or follow daily routines. On some subconscious level these repetitive actions give them some level of comfort.
The Orange Flannel Hat and the Sea of Time
This is my most complex theories and therefore the most difficult to explain or even remember properly. In order to preserve the integrity of it i will not attempt to explain it until i can remember all of the facts.
I am chronicling my past visions and theories from my experiences with ether so as to protect them from my failing memory.
I will first describe my ritual. The way my room is set up, i've got my bed along one wall, a dresser on the opposite side, and a window on the side perpendicular to those sides and a closet that is about 3 feet deep. In that closet there is a black chest about 4 feet long, 1 foot high and 1.5 feet deep. There are nice shirts hanging above the chest. Some are in dry cleaning plastic, some are just hanging. Each night I would sit on that black chest with an old cotton t-shirt in one hand and my can of ether in the other. On the opposite side of the room was a little stereo on which I would play a mixed Beatles CD. I would anticipate that first deep breath of ether and the feeling that would soon follow. I'd put the nozzle of the can in the t-shirt and spray until i could feel the cold through the other side of the t-shirt so as not to waste any of that sweet vitriol. I cover my nose and breathe deeply. I knew it was taking efect when i began to salivate. After each breath of ether I would lean back and let the music wash over me like waves. I came up with many theories, ideas, and peculiarities during this period between breathes of ether. I would have many instances of deja vu and feel as if my actions, thoughts, and words were familiar some how. The first time I heard the song Yellow Submarine was when I was high on ether yet I could distinctly (by distinctly I mean vaugely becasue at this point i was in the grips of the ether) remember hearing one particular strain of that song coming through from behind the wall many years ago but what I had heard wasn't a real part of the song. It was as if it were being sung by jumping fleas with high-pitched voices (if flea's had voices that is). This was the main thing many of my theories and ponderings centered around. It's hard to remember ALL of my thoughts and ideas but I can remember a few.
The Familiar Song
I came to the conclusion (while I was high on ether) that the song was familiar even though I'd never heard it before because there was actually a yellow submarine just behind the wall. Not a full-size submarine, mind you, but perhaps a miniature sub. In any case I was convinced it existed. At times I would strain to hear some sign of the submarine like the sound of a body of water, the music, or submarine sounds. I never did find out if that submarine existed.
Jumping Fleas
This is a harder concept for me to remember due the the circumstances under which it was arrived. It was usually after 10 or 12 ether breaths and I was securelyh in the clutches of the ether and the music would distract me and i would lose my train of thought. Here's what i can remember: At first I would see a series of jumping fleas all humming in unison a certain portion of Yellow Submarine. They weren't so much fleas as points as i began to focus more on the actual being of them. The more I would concentrate on what they looked like, the smaller they would become. Later, I came up with a theory that they were not fleas at all but that I was seeing the sound waves. This is all that I am currently able to remember.
Theory of Repetitive Action
When I was high on ether and was groovin to the music, I would often times become locked in a motion. For example, many times i would move my head around in circles. I would sometimes carry on this motion for as long as 30 minutes . I felt like i never wanted to stop doing it and when i did finally stop it, i felt kinda bummed out. The repetitive motion gave me a wierd sort of comfort. From what i've heard of meth, similar things happen with that. THese things happen to everyone on a day to day basis but on a larger scale. This could explain why people often continue past actions (also known as habits) or follow daily routines. On some subconscious level these repetitive actions give them some level of comfort.
The Orange Flannel Hat and the Sea of Time
This is my most complex theories and therefore the most difficult to explain or even remember properly. In order to preserve the integrity of it i will not attempt to explain it until i can remember all of the facts.