Science of Fear, The Beginning in the End, Part Two of Three
Title: Science of Fear, Paradigm Shift (14/15)
Pairing: Brittany/Santana, Brittany/OC
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Glee or song related, just Dylan.
Spoilers: Through s02e11
Summary: Fear. It forces you to do things you regret. And that's just what happens to Santana, causing her to run away from the one person she loves the most. Can one stranger help her defeat those fears or will she just lose Brittany to her for good?
Santana felt the pain in her heart again and she couldn’t stand it any longer. Kurt opened his mouth to respond as she stepped into the light flowing through the doorway.
“Bri…” he started.
“No,” Santana called out, stepping into the room so they could see her clearly, “Brittany… there is nothing wrong with you,” she said confidently.
Kurt spun around and nearly fell off the bed in surprise as Dylan quickly rose to her feet. Brittany remained seated on her bed, leaning forward slightly, a tired and pained look on her face.
“Santana!” Dylan yelped in surprise, quickly looking down at the blonde on the bed.
Santana stepped further into the room, “Brittany… don’t ever say that about yourself… or let anyone say it about you.”
“Y-you’re lying,” Brittany whispered, looking up at her. Santana couldn’t help but notice how broken she looked.
“Brittany, no,” she moved the rest of the way into the room and kneeled down in front of Brittany, gazing up into blue eyes. She glanced down at Brittany’s hands as the clutched painfully at the comforter beneath her, “I’m not,” she whispered.
Brittany shook her head back and forth slowly while she grimaced down at Santana, “then… why… you left!” she suddenly called out.
Santana slowly rose to her feet. She needed to tell Brittany the truth but she felt both Dylan and Kurt breathing down her back, so she tensed. “Leave us,” she breathed out.
She heard them shuffle behind her so she turned to face them.
“Please? I just… I need to talk to Brittany. Alone,” she explained.
Dylan looked over at Kurt briefly who looked at her nervously before looking past Santana at Brittany.
“Britt?” she asked the blonde. Santana turned around to look at Brittany. “Britt, we can stay if you want.”
Brittany stared at Dylan for a while, eyes heavy before dropping her head and shaking it, “No… it’s okay. You can go.”
“Are you sure?” Kurt asked.
Santana heard Brittany sob and watched her shake her head again, “No… but, you can go.”
Dylan stepped forward and leaned down to wrap her arms around the tall girl. Santana watched as she whispered something into her ear and Brittany nodded. She straightened back up and turned to look at Santana.
“If you hurt her, Santana I swear to god,” Dylan held up a finger and pointed down at her accusingly. But then she stepped closer and leaned down to whisper in her ear, “Tell her San, she doesn’t know. But she believes. Please, be brave.”
The other girl stepped back and looked down at Santana lovingly before walking towards the door with Kurt. She stood and before Brittany until she heard the front door snap shut.
Brittany sniffled and looked up at Santana but then dropped her gaze to her hands in her lap. There was that familiar pull on Santana’s heart and she stumbled forward, “Brittany,” she whispered.
The blonde looked up at her and she watched a single tear roll slowly down her pale cheek. “You left me… San, you left me… again,” she choked out.
“Brittany, I…” Santana moved and inched her way onto the bed next to Brittany but the blonde shifted away from her and she felt a sting of pain shoot through her heart.
“Why, Santana? Why?” Brittany sobbed out. Tears started to flow down her cheeks again now and she turned her head away from Santana.
“Britt, please… I’m sorry.”
The blonde sniffled and looked at Santana for a moment before turning away and shaking her head again. She couldn’t hold back the tears.
“I’m so sorry, Britt,” she continued, attempting to move closer to the blonde. “I’m sorry I even left the first time. It was a mistake.”
“No,” Brittany said simply.
“Brittany, stop… look at me,” she waited until the blonde shifted on the bed, tilting her head slightly in her direction. “I’m fucked up, Britt. You shouldn’t love me,” she said shaking her head.
“I don’t care!” Brittany cried out, “I don’t care, San! I just… I just want to be with you…”
And then she was weeping into her hands, turning away from Santana again. The Latina watched, heart breaking as the girl she loved broke down in front of her, shoulders hunched and shuddering. She couldn’t stand to see Brittany in such a state.
She slid off the bed and kneeled in front of the girl again, “Brittany, shhh, Britt,” she reached up and tried to remove Brittany’s hands from her face so she could look into her blue eyes. “Britt, baby, shh… it’s okay.”
There was a whimper and Brittany’s head popped up slightly, “W-what?” she asked, tears still rolling out.
Santana bit her tongue. She had let the term of endearment slip off her tongue. It just felt so natural, she hadn’t even noticed. She smiled slightly, enjoying the idea of being able to call Brittany her baby.
She reached up and cupped one of the blonde’s cheeks and she felt her lean into her palm. Looking up into watery blue eyes she sighed and spoke out honestly to Brittany for the first time, “I’m scared, Britt. I’m so fucking scared. And I’m sorry, you deserve better than me.”
“I know you’re scared,” she choked out in front of her, “I’m scared too… but I don’t care, San. I… I just don’t care.”
“Shhh, Britt,” Santana soothed again, gently rubbing her thumb across a perfect cheek. “That’s why I ran. I’m so broken, Brittany… I didn’t think you could actually love me and I was scared. So I ran.”
Brittany closed her eyes, forcing another tear to escape. She raised her hand to cover Santana’s on her cheek and leaned into it.
“I don’t want to run anymore,” Santana whispered, leaning up slightly so Brittany could hear her.
Blonde eyes blinked open slowly and turned to look down at her, “W-what are you saying?” she squeaked.
Santana took a deep breath and slinked up, back onto the bed, still cupping Brittany’s cheek as she did so. She had so much she wanted to tell the blonde but she just didn’t know how. A flash of life sparkled in Brittany’s perfectly blue eyes providing her with and answer and she gently moved her thumb back across her cheek. She dropped her gaze down to Brittany’s empty hand, remembering the way she had held it out to her as she sang.
Smiling, she carefully removed her hand from Brittany’s cheek and gently picked up her other hand in both of hers. She turned it over and ghosted her fingertips over her palm, marveling at its architecture.
“A few months ago,” she began, “I stumbled upon this song on Youtube.” Brittany furrowed her eyebrows at her, attempting to understand what she was saying. Santana chuckled lightly and gazed up into her eyes.
“It was a complete accident but the second I heard it, I knew I was meant to find it. It was perfect, Brittany, and I listened to it over and over again until I had every word memorized.”
“I don’t get it,” the blonde pouted, looking down at their hands as they danced gently with each other.
Santana still her hand and slid her fingers in between Brittany’s, “You sang me a song, Brittany,” she told her, reaching with her free hand to tip her chin up. “There is so much I want to tell you, but I don’t know how. This song, it was perfect; because it made me think of you in every way.”
“San,” Brittany whimpered.
“Britt, baby…” she tested the waters again and she received a moan from the blonde in response. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, willing the lyrics that had been imprinted into her memory to resurface. The room was eerily quiet but the music drifted through her mind and she hummed out the starting cords.
“Wish enough, wise man will tell you a lie… window broke, torn up screens. Who'd have thought that you'd dream of a single tragic scene,” she whispered the first line and opened her eyes to hold Brittany’s gaze. “I just wanna sing a song with you, I just want to take it off of you…”
“Cause blue eyes, you are all that I need,” she sang to Brittany, “Cause blue eyes…you're the sweet to my mean.”
Brittany let out a small laugh and smiled sheepishly down at Santana, gripping her hand tighter.
“Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand I can help you to stand. Saved it up for this dance,” their hands danced together again, as Santana began to play with Brittany’s fingers, “ tell me all the things you can.”
“I just wanna sing a song with you… I just wanna be the one that's true,” she sang louder, growing more confident as Brittany absorbed every word. “Cause blue eyes, you're the secret I keep, cause blue eyes…”
It was so true. Her love for Brittany was her greatest secret, a secret that she wouldn’t even tell herself.
“All the lights on and you are alive, but you can't point the way to your heart...” Santana hung her head briefly. It had taken her so long to realize her feelings for the blonde. But she snapped her head up and sang louder, willing Brittany to hear her.
“So sublime, when the stars are aligned, but you don't know!” she shifted her legs underneath her so she was sitting on her ankles, gripping tightly at Brittany’s hands with both of hers, “You don't know the greatness you are!” she reached up and cupped a pale cheek again and stared into crystal blue eyes.
“Cause blue eyes, you are destiny's scene,” her voice was stronger now, fear washing away. They were meant to be together, she knew it.
“Cause blue eyes I just wanna be the one… I just wanna sing a song with you! I just wanna get it on with you!”
Brittany smiled and let out a gasp, a tear escaping. Santana gingerly brushed it away with her thumb.
“Cause blue eyes, you're the secret I keep,” she told her again, “cause blue eyes… I just wanna sing a song with you.”
She brushed against her cheek with the back of her knuckles as she lowered her voice again, “I just wanna sing a song with you…”
Fresh tears filled Brittany’s eyes as she gazed up at her. But Santana knew they were tears of a different type. They were no longer tears of sadness and Brittany leaned into her touch again.
“I just wanna sing a song with you…” she whispered the last line and brushed away the freshly shed tears. Brittany panted out and smiled up at her.
They held each other’s gaze for a few moments, Santana just reveling in the brilliant blue color of Brittany’s eyes as she caressed her cheek.
“Brittany…” she whispered.
Brittany choked out a sob but smiled lovingly up at Santana.
“Britt…” she called again, leaning closer.
There was a pressure against her hand as Brittany brought hers up to the one on her cheek again and closed her eyes.
“Baby…” she said it again, rolling off her tongue as though it was meant to be said. Brittany’s eyes blinked open and she locked eyes with her. “I love you,” Santana breathed out. She immediately felt a weight lifted off her shoulders and a warmth spread through her body.
“Oh god, Britt, I love you,” she whimpered out.
Brittany gasped, releasing a breath she was holding and her face broke out into a tired but ecstatic smile. “San…”
“I love you, Brittany. I do. Always, it’s only ever been you,” Santana admitted to her.
Santana watched as Brittany couldn’t fight back the new tears of happiness and she felt a few of her own forming.
“I love you, San,” Brittany whispered and Santana whimpered. She had told her before, but this time she heard her clearly and it hit home.
She couldn’t hold back any longer and leaned forward, capturing Brittany’s lips in her own. A spark ignited behind her closed eyes as she felt Brittany’s lips press softly against her own. It was as though they were kissing for the first time and Santana realized they were. This was their first real kiss, knowing that they both loved each other, and the feeling was unlike anything Santana had ever experienced before.
Brittany moaned against her lips and she knew the blonde was feeling the same thing. She pulled back to look into Brittany’s eyes. The tears were gone and had been replaced by a brilliant shimmering blue that reminded Santana of their perfect day.
“Wow,” the blonde breathed out as she looked up into Santana’s eyes.
“Wow,” Santana chuckled in response, mimicking Brittany’s acknowledgement of the feeling they had just shared. She leaned forward and rested her forehead against Brittany’s.
She felt Brittany’s hands come up to drape around her shoulders and clasp behind her neck, humming as she did so. Santana couldn’t help but grin widely.
“You’re amazing, B,” she whispered, nuzzling their noses together.
“San,” Brittany moaned out. She giggled as their noses bumped but pulled back to look up at her seriously for a second. “Just kiss me, okay?”
Santana laughed fully before reaching up and tangling her hands in Brittany’s hair. There was pressure from the blonde’s hands behind her neck and she allowed herself to be pulled forward, guiding Brittany up as well until their lips ghosted against each other’s.
She looked up and held blue eyes with her brown ones before fluttering them shut and pushing their lips together fully. Their mouths molded into each other and Santana whimpered. Perfectly content, she stayed there and explored the familiar contour of Brittany’s mouth.
But soon her position began to grow uncomfortable, still kneeling on the mattress, so Santana leaned forward, slightly pushing back until Brittany smiled in understanding. The blonde allowed her to lean them back and inch up the comforter until they were lying flush against each other.
Pulling her lips back briefly, Santana gazed down at the girl beneath her. A smile stretched across her face as she saw Brittany’s eyes sparkling in the dim light. The blonde tilted her head and gave her an amused look followed by a giggle. Santana just grinned wider. With her head tilted, Brittany had exposed the pale skin of her neck and Santana couldn’t help herself.
She leaned down slowly and pressed her lips against Brittany’s pulse point. The blonde sighed audibly and Santana felt hands tugging at the elastic that held her hair in its pony tail. There was a gentle tug before her hair fell from its confinements, draping over her shoulders. Strong fingers worked their way through dark locks until they rested lightly on her back. She leaned in further and peppered Brittany’s pale skin with kisses, reveling in its softness.
Brittany giggled and sighed out.
“Hmm?” Santana hummed against her neck, nuzzling just below her jaw.
“Nothing,” the blonde sighed, rubbing her back soothingly.
Santana pulled back, trailing wet kisses up her jaw before finally reaching Brittany’s lips in a chaste kiss, “Britt, don’t stop being honest with me already,” Santana playfully chastised, leaning down to kiss her more fully.
“It’s just,” Brittany started between kisses, “This… is familiar,” she said almost sadly.
Santana pulled back and looked down at the blonde, “Well, yeah… I mean it’s not like we haven’t done this before, B… besides the whole ‘I love you’ part any way, she said tilting her head slightly and then leaning down to forcefully press her lips against Brittany’s. “I love you, by the way,” she added, smiling broadly.
Brittany leaned up and captured her lips again, slowly tracing her tongue over Santana’s lips and then dropping back down. “No… I know that,” she said with a sheepish smile, “I mean… this position,” she motioned to the way they were lying. “I guess, it just reminds me of what happened, that’s all…” she trailed off, turning her head slightly.
Santana looked between them and it took a second before she realized what Brittany was talking about. Her eyes widened in understanding and she felt a twinge of pain hit her heart.
“Oh, Britt… I, I’m so sorry,” she choked out, adjusting her position so she could reach up and cup Brittany’s cheek.
The blonde sniffled and looked up at her, “You left me, San. It hurt so bad and I didn’t know what to do. “
“Britt,” Santana leaned in to kiss her thoroughly, “I’m so sorry… I was scared. I regretted it the second I left, I swear. I never meant to leave you.”
“Then why?” she asked with sad eyes.
Santana leaned forward again, nuzzling into the crook of Brittany’s neck as far as she would go. “I was scared, B,” she mumbled, “I didn’t know what I was feeling or where the feelings were coming from, but I was nervous and I panicked. I’m so sorry, Brittany.”
Brittany sniffled and wrapped her arms around her tightly, “I missed you, San. So much. Don’t ever leave me again, okay?”
Santana pulled back and looked into Brittany’s eyes with complete honesty, “I don’t plan on it, B, I promise. I’m yours… not going anywhere.”
“I love you, Santana,” Brittany whispered.
“And I love you, fully and completely,” Santana said, pressing their lips together to seal her words. She whimpered against Brittany as their bodies molded together, bringing her hands up to tangle in the blonde locks that had draped across the pillow.
Santana marveled in the feeling of Brittany’s lips as they worked against hers. It felt so natural as they moved together that she couldn’t help but smile into their kiss. She placed one last peck on perfect lips before rolling her forehead against Brittany’s and just enjoying their closeness as the blonde traced shaped against the polyester of her Cheerio’s uniform.
With every swirl of firm fingers against her back, Brittany sent shivers down her spine. So she lay there, body molded against Brittany’s and head resting on her shoulder, trembling occasionally. She brought her own hand up to mimic Brittany’s movements against the girl’s collar bone, tracing the freckles that appeared there.
She closed her eyes and pressed her lips against Brittany’s pulse point, moving her hand to grip at the back of her neck. The pressure on her back began to grow as Brittany’s movements became less sporadic. There was a whimper as Santana gripped the back of Brittany’s neck more tightly, pressing firmer, wetter kisses to the pulse point beneath her. She felt the blonde press her body impossibly closers to her and couldn’t do anything but return the gesture.
It had always amazed Santana how perfectly their bodies could fit together, each curve and bend having a perfect compliment on the other. The thought fueled the already growing flame in her stomach. She needed to be as close to Brittany as possible. She first shifted so she was lying directly on top of her, allowing herself to reach down and capture Brittany’s lips in an open mouthed kiss before slowly raising off of her.
“San?” Brittany whimpered out.
With a quick last kiss to slightly swollen lips, Santana pulled back completely, smiling down at Brittany as she slid her feet down to the floor and stood up.
“San?” Brittany’s voice was panicked now and she reached out to grab at her uniform, “No! Please, don’t. You promised,” she gasped out, sitting up on the bed, “You promised you wouldn’t leave.”
“Shhh, B,” Santana comforted, leaning down to fully kiss the blonde, “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Then what are you doing?” Brittany asked nerviously.
Santana smiled down at her, running her hand through Brittany’s hair. “What I should have done months ago,” she whispered against her lips.
When she stood back, Brittany was looking at her with confused eyes from where she now sat on the edge of the bed. Santana just smiled down at her and slowly brought her hands up to the zipper of her Cheerios uniform. She held Brittany’s gaze before pulling the sipper up slowly until it came undone. Taking a deep breath, she crossed her arms in front of her, grasping the bottom of the red material and slowly pulled up.
Brittany’s eyes watched her intently, gazing over her body, but she didn’t feel uncomfortable. She felt warm and beautiful under Brittany’s stare as she pulled the top over her head and let it drop heavily to the floor besides her. She smiled sheepishly down at Brittany before moving to the zipper of her skirt.
“No,” Brittany said softly.
“What?” Santana turned to look down at her, “Why not?”
Brittany slid forward a ways on the bed and reached out to pull Santana’s hips forward. “Because I want to,” she said, looking up gingerly.
Pale hands slipped around to her lower back until they found the zipper. Santana just smiled lovingly down at the girl below her, reaching up to run her hands through Brittany’s incredibly soft hair. She felt the light tug as Brittany began to slowly work the zipper down. When it wouldn’t open anymore, the material slid off her hips to the floor easily and she stepped out of the skirt, removing her sneakers soon after.
She now stood in front of Brittany in her bra and spanks. And as adorable as Brittany was in her oversized, worn hoodie, Santana disliked the barrier keeping her from the beautiful body underneath. So she reached down and grasped the hem of the heavy material and slowly lifted it up.
Brittany gladly raised her arms and allowed her to completely remove the garment. Blonde hair cascaded down as the material was pulled off and dropped leisurely next to the discarded Cheerios uniform. Santana brought her hands up to gently brush them over pale shoulders, watching as goose bumped formed in their wake. She trailed them down long arms and then back up, gently grazing over Brittany’s back.
The blonde shivered and stared up into her eyes longingly and reached up to snake her hand to the back of Santana’s neck, pulling down heavily. Santana’s hands reached the clasp of Brittany’s bra as their mouths connected, this time with more passion. With as swipe of her tongue, Santana easily snapped open the clasp under her fingers.
Her hands traced up the now loose straps until they reached the top of Brittany’s shoulders and slipped under the soft material. She slowly slid the straps down, never breaking their kiss, allowing the garment to fall lightly on the floor between them. But she paused, suddenly very aware that this time, touching Brittany meant so much more than all the other times they had done this. And she reveled in it, sucking lightly on Brittany’s bottom lip before tracing her fingers back up pale arms until they reached the swell of Brittany’s chest.
Brittany had intertwined her fingers in her hair, the gentle tug turning into a more persistent one as she pulled her closer. Santana felt her heart swell as she brought her palm down to rest gently above Brittany’s heart. She allowed it to stay there for a while as their mouths danced, counting the beats as they increased below her hand.
She kissed the blonde deep and hard, sliding her tongue against Brittany’s and guiding her hand down to gently squeeze Brittany’s exposed chest. The blonde whimpered and began to lean back, pulling them back down against the comforter. Santana moved one hand to Brittany’s lower back and adjusted her so they were lying fully against the bed. They collapsed against each other then, Santana’s hand gently kneading while their tongues molded together.
The burning sensation of Brittany’s skin against hers was back and more intense than it had been a few weeks earlier. It pushed the rest of the air out of Santana’s lungs and she had to slide her mouth off Brittany’s to allow herself to regain at least a bit of her composure. She rested her forehead against Brittany’s, who was sighing contently beneath her. The blonde’s hands had begun their dance on her back again, now tracing aimless shapes against her bare skin as opposed to the rough polyester material that now lay discarded on the floor.
Santana moaned and reached down to capture now full lips, sucking gently as Brittany brought a hand up to easily unclasp her bra. The straps fell down her shoulders while Brittany took to opportunity to drag her hand fully up and down her back, now unencumbered by clothing. Though they were already pressed impossibly tight against each other, Santana wanted to experience the feeling of Brittany’s chest against hers again. So she allowed herself to rise up enough so Brittany could pluck away the remaining barrier.
They moaned simultaneously as they brought their chests together and Santana canted her hips down in an effort to get as close as possible.
“Britt,” she whispered.
“I love you, Santana,” Brittany whispered deeply against her ear and Santana felt herself shiver.
She whimpered and pulled back enough to allow herself to crash her lips against Brittany’s. She didn’t have to ask permission or wait for Brittany to ask, before both of their tongue found each other. Santana couldn’t get enough of Brittany; the feeling of her skin against hers and her tongue swirling in her mouth. She never wanted it to stop and she wanted more. She wanted all of Brittany.
She knew every crevice and every dimple on the blonde’s body through years of friendship and leaning about each other’s anatomies. But tonight, Santana felt as though she was touching Brittany for the very first time and she didn’t want to leave any rock unturned.
She started peppering kisses down her jaw, keeping their bodies pressed together but allowing her hands to travel and learn the familiar territory.
“San,” Brittany whimpered in her ear. Brittany’s hands had moved to rest on her hips, hooking under the red spandex that remained of her uniform and squeezing lightly. Santana hummed against her neck and Brittany moaned, “I need you, I need all of you,” she whispered.
“So bad,” Santana panted as she bit down on Brittany’s pulse point. The hands on her hips moved down further, pulling her spanks down slightly as thumbs traced the top of her thighs.
“Take these off, baby,” Brittany purred into her ear and Santana shivered. Brittany pulled the material down further and Santana felt the cool air of the room hit her backside.
Part Three of Three
Pairing: Brittany/Santana, Brittany/OC
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Glee or song related, just Dylan.
Spoilers: Through s02e11
Summary: Fear. It forces you to do things you regret. And that's just what happens to Santana, causing her to run away from the one person she loves the most. Can one stranger help her defeat those fears or will she just lose Brittany to her for good?
Santana felt the pain in her heart again and she couldn’t stand it any longer. Kurt opened his mouth to respond as she stepped into the light flowing through the doorway.
“Bri…” he started.
“No,” Santana called out, stepping into the room so they could see her clearly, “Brittany… there is nothing wrong with you,” she said confidently.
Kurt spun around and nearly fell off the bed in surprise as Dylan quickly rose to her feet. Brittany remained seated on her bed, leaning forward slightly, a tired and pained look on her face.
“Santana!” Dylan yelped in surprise, quickly looking down at the blonde on the bed.
Santana stepped further into the room, “Brittany… don’t ever say that about yourself… or let anyone say it about you.”
“Y-you’re lying,” Brittany whispered, looking up at her. Santana couldn’t help but notice how broken she looked.
“Brittany, no,” she moved the rest of the way into the room and kneeled down in front of Brittany, gazing up into blue eyes. She glanced down at Brittany’s hands as the clutched painfully at the comforter beneath her, “I’m not,” she whispered.
Brittany shook her head back and forth slowly while she grimaced down at Santana, “then… why… you left!” she suddenly called out.
Santana slowly rose to her feet. She needed to tell Brittany the truth but she felt both Dylan and Kurt breathing down her back, so she tensed. “Leave us,” she breathed out.
She heard them shuffle behind her so she turned to face them.
“Please? I just… I need to talk to Brittany. Alone,” she explained.
Dylan looked over at Kurt briefly who looked at her nervously before looking past Santana at Brittany.
“Britt?” she asked the blonde. Santana turned around to look at Brittany. “Britt, we can stay if you want.”
Brittany stared at Dylan for a while, eyes heavy before dropping her head and shaking it, “No… it’s okay. You can go.”
“Are you sure?” Kurt asked.
Santana heard Brittany sob and watched her shake her head again, “No… but, you can go.”
Dylan stepped forward and leaned down to wrap her arms around the tall girl. Santana watched as she whispered something into her ear and Brittany nodded. She straightened back up and turned to look at Santana.
“If you hurt her, Santana I swear to god,” Dylan held up a finger and pointed down at her accusingly. But then she stepped closer and leaned down to whisper in her ear, “Tell her San, she doesn’t know. But she believes. Please, be brave.”
The other girl stepped back and looked down at Santana lovingly before walking towards the door with Kurt. She stood and before Brittany until she heard the front door snap shut.
Brittany sniffled and looked up at Santana but then dropped her gaze to her hands in her lap. There was that familiar pull on Santana’s heart and she stumbled forward, “Brittany,” she whispered.
The blonde looked up at her and she watched a single tear roll slowly down her pale cheek. “You left me… San, you left me… again,” she choked out.
“Brittany, I…” Santana moved and inched her way onto the bed next to Brittany but the blonde shifted away from her and she felt a sting of pain shoot through her heart.
“Why, Santana? Why?” Brittany sobbed out. Tears started to flow down her cheeks again now and she turned her head away from Santana.
“Britt, please… I’m sorry.”
The blonde sniffled and looked at Santana for a moment before turning away and shaking her head again. She couldn’t hold back the tears.
“I’m so sorry, Britt,” she continued, attempting to move closer to the blonde. “I’m sorry I even left the first time. It was a mistake.”
“No,” Brittany said simply.
“Brittany, stop… look at me,” she waited until the blonde shifted on the bed, tilting her head slightly in her direction. “I’m fucked up, Britt. You shouldn’t love me,” she said shaking her head.
“I don’t care!” Brittany cried out, “I don’t care, San! I just… I just want to be with you…”
And then she was weeping into her hands, turning away from Santana again. The Latina watched, heart breaking as the girl she loved broke down in front of her, shoulders hunched and shuddering. She couldn’t stand to see Brittany in such a state.
She slid off the bed and kneeled in front of the girl again, “Brittany, shhh, Britt,” she reached up and tried to remove Brittany’s hands from her face so she could look into her blue eyes. “Britt, baby, shh… it’s okay.”
There was a whimper and Brittany’s head popped up slightly, “W-what?” she asked, tears still rolling out.
Santana bit her tongue. She had let the term of endearment slip off her tongue. It just felt so natural, she hadn’t even noticed. She smiled slightly, enjoying the idea of being able to call Brittany her baby.
She reached up and cupped one of the blonde’s cheeks and she felt her lean into her palm. Looking up into watery blue eyes she sighed and spoke out honestly to Brittany for the first time, “I’m scared, Britt. I’m so fucking scared. And I’m sorry, you deserve better than me.”
“I know you’re scared,” she choked out in front of her, “I’m scared too… but I don’t care, San. I… I just don’t care.”
“Shhh, Britt,” Santana soothed again, gently rubbing her thumb across a perfect cheek. “That’s why I ran. I’m so broken, Brittany… I didn’t think you could actually love me and I was scared. So I ran.”
Brittany closed her eyes, forcing another tear to escape. She raised her hand to cover Santana’s on her cheek and leaned into it.
“I don’t want to run anymore,” Santana whispered, leaning up slightly so Brittany could hear her.
Blonde eyes blinked open slowly and turned to look down at her, “W-what are you saying?” she squeaked.
Santana took a deep breath and slinked up, back onto the bed, still cupping Brittany’s cheek as she did so. She had so much she wanted to tell the blonde but she just didn’t know how. A flash of life sparkled in Brittany’s perfectly blue eyes providing her with and answer and she gently moved her thumb back across her cheek. She dropped her gaze down to Brittany’s empty hand, remembering the way she had held it out to her as she sang.
Smiling, she carefully removed her hand from Brittany’s cheek and gently picked up her other hand in both of hers. She turned it over and ghosted her fingertips over her palm, marveling at its architecture.
“A few months ago,” she began, “I stumbled upon this song on Youtube.” Brittany furrowed her eyebrows at her, attempting to understand what she was saying. Santana chuckled lightly and gazed up into her eyes.
“It was a complete accident but the second I heard it, I knew I was meant to find it. It was perfect, Brittany, and I listened to it over and over again until I had every word memorized.”
“I don’t get it,” the blonde pouted, looking down at their hands as they danced gently with each other.
Santana still her hand and slid her fingers in between Brittany’s, “You sang me a song, Brittany,” she told her, reaching with her free hand to tip her chin up. “There is so much I want to tell you, but I don’t know how. This song, it was perfect; because it made me think of you in every way.”
“San,” Brittany whimpered.
“Britt, baby…” she tested the waters again and she received a moan from the blonde in response. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, willing the lyrics that had been imprinted into her memory to resurface. The room was eerily quiet but the music drifted through her mind and she hummed out the starting cords.
“Wish enough, wise man will tell you a lie… window broke, torn up screens. Who'd have thought that you'd dream of a single tragic scene,” she whispered the first line and opened her eyes to hold Brittany’s gaze. “I just wanna sing a song with you, I just want to take it off of you…”
“Cause blue eyes, you are all that I need,” she sang to Brittany, “Cause blue eyes…you're the sweet to my mean.”
Brittany let out a small laugh and smiled sheepishly down at Santana, gripping her hand tighter.
“Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand I can help you to stand. Saved it up for this dance,” their hands danced together again, as Santana began to play with Brittany’s fingers, “ tell me all the things you can.”
“I just wanna sing a song with you… I just wanna be the one that's true,” she sang louder, growing more confident as Brittany absorbed every word. “Cause blue eyes, you're the secret I keep, cause blue eyes…”
It was so true. Her love for Brittany was her greatest secret, a secret that she wouldn’t even tell herself.
“All the lights on and you are alive, but you can't point the way to your heart...” Santana hung her head briefly. It had taken her so long to realize her feelings for the blonde. But she snapped her head up and sang louder, willing Brittany to hear her.
“So sublime, when the stars are aligned, but you don't know!” she shifted her legs underneath her so she was sitting on her ankles, gripping tightly at Brittany’s hands with both of hers, “You don't know the greatness you are!” she reached up and cupped a pale cheek again and stared into crystal blue eyes.
“Cause blue eyes, you are destiny's scene,” her voice was stronger now, fear washing away. They were meant to be together, she knew it.
“Cause blue eyes I just wanna be the one… I just wanna sing a song with you! I just wanna get it on with you!”
Brittany smiled and let out a gasp, a tear escaping. Santana gingerly brushed it away with her thumb.
“Cause blue eyes, you're the secret I keep,” she told her again, “cause blue eyes… I just wanna sing a song with you.”
She brushed against her cheek with the back of her knuckles as she lowered her voice again, “I just wanna sing a song with you…”
Fresh tears filled Brittany’s eyes as she gazed up at her. But Santana knew they were tears of a different type. They were no longer tears of sadness and Brittany leaned into her touch again.
“I just wanna sing a song with you…” she whispered the last line and brushed away the freshly shed tears. Brittany panted out and smiled up at her.
They held each other’s gaze for a few moments, Santana just reveling in the brilliant blue color of Brittany’s eyes as she caressed her cheek.
“Brittany…” she whispered.
Brittany choked out a sob but smiled lovingly up at Santana.
“Britt…” she called again, leaning closer.
There was a pressure against her hand as Brittany brought hers up to the one on her cheek again and closed her eyes.
“Baby…” she said it again, rolling off her tongue as though it was meant to be said. Brittany’s eyes blinked open and she locked eyes with her. “I love you,” Santana breathed out. She immediately felt a weight lifted off her shoulders and a warmth spread through her body.
“Oh god, Britt, I love you,” she whimpered out.
Brittany gasped, releasing a breath she was holding and her face broke out into a tired but ecstatic smile. “San…”
“I love you, Brittany. I do. Always, it’s only ever been you,” Santana admitted to her.
Santana watched as Brittany couldn’t fight back the new tears of happiness and she felt a few of her own forming.
“I love you, San,” Brittany whispered and Santana whimpered. She had told her before, but this time she heard her clearly and it hit home.
She couldn’t hold back any longer and leaned forward, capturing Brittany’s lips in her own. A spark ignited behind her closed eyes as she felt Brittany’s lips press softly against her own. It was as though they were kissing for the first time and Santana realized they were. This was their first real kiss, knowing that they both loved each other, and the feeling was unlike anything Santana had ever experienced before.
Brittany moaned against her lips and she knew the blonde was feeling the same thing. She pulled back to look into Brittany’s eyes. The tears were gone and had been replaced by a brilliant shimmering blue that reminded Santana of their perfect day.
“Wow,” the blonde breathed out as she looked up into Santana’s eyes.
“Wow,” Santana chuckled in response, mimicking Brittany’s acknowledgement of the feeling they had just shared. She leaned forward and rested her forehead against Brittany’s.
She felt Brittany’s hands come up to drape around her shoulders and clasp behind her neck, humming as she did so. Santana couldn’t help but grin widely.
“You’re amazing, B,” she whispered, nuzzling their noses together.
“San,” Brittany moaned out. She giggled as their noses bumped but pulled back to look up at her seriously for a second. “Just kiss me, okay?”
Santana laughed fully before reaching up and tangling her hands in Brittany’s hair. There was pressure from the blonde’s hands behind her neck and she allowed herself to be pulled forward, guiding Brittany up as well until their lips ghosted against each other’s.
She looked up and held blue eyes with her brown ones before fluttering them shut and pushing their lips together fully. Their mouths molded into each other and Santana whimpered. Perfectly content, she stayed there and explored the familiar contour of Brittany’s mouth.
But soon her position began to grow uncomfortable, still kneeling on the mattress, so Santana leaned forward, slightly pushing back until Brittany smiled in understanding. The blonde allowed her to lean them back and inch up the comforter until they were lying flush against each other.
Pulling her lips back briefly, Santana gazed down at the girl beneath her. A smile stretched across her face as she saw Brittany’s eyes sparkling in the dim light. The blonde tilted her head and gave her an amused look followed by a giggle. Santana just grinned wider. With her head tilted, Brittany had exposed the pale skin of her neck and Santana couldn’t help herself.
She leaned down slowly and pressed her lips against Brittany’s pulse point. The blonde sighed audibly and Santana felt hands tugging at the elastic that held her hair in its pony tail. There was a gentle tug before her hair fell from its confinements, draping over her shoulders. Strong fingers worked their way through dark locks until they rested lightly on her back. She leaned in further and peppered Brittany’s pale skin with kisses, reveling in its softness.
Brittany giggled and sighed out.
“Hmm?” Santana hummed against her neck, nuzzling just below her jaw.
“Nothing,” the blonde sighed, rubbing her back soothingly.
Santana pulled back, trailing wet kisses up her jaw before finally reaching Brittany’s lips in a chaste kiss, “Britt, don’t stop being honest with me already,” Santana playfully chastised, leaning down to kiss her more fully.
“It’s just,” Brittany started between kisses, “This… is familiar,” she said almost sadly.
Santana pulled back and looked down at the blonde, “Well, yeah… I mean it’s not like we haven’t done this before, B… besides the whole ‘I love you’ part any way, she said tilting her head slightly and then leaning down to forcefully press her lips against Brittany’s. “I love you, by the way,” she added, smiling broadly.
Brittany leaned up and captured her lips again, slowly tracing her tongue over Santana’s lips and then dropping back down. “No… I know that,” she said with a sheepish smile, “I mean… this position,” she motioned to the way they were lying. “I guess, it just reminds me of what happened, that’s all…” she trailed off, turning her head slightly.
Santana looked between them and it took a second before she realized what Brittany was talking about. Her eyes widened in understanding and she felt a twinge of pain hit her heart.
“Oh, Britt… I, I’m so sorry,” she choked out, adjusting her position so she could reach up and cup Brittany’s cheek.
The blonde sniffled and looked up at her, “You left me, San. It hurt so bad and I didn’t know what to do. “
“Britt,” Santana leaned in to kiss her thoroughly, “I’m so sorry… I was scared. I regretted it the second I left, I swear. I never meant to leave you.”
“Then why?” she asked with sad eyes.
Santana leaned forward again, nuzzling into the crook of Brittany’s neck as far as she would go. “I was scared, B,” she mumbled, “I didn’t know what I was feeling or where the feelings were coming from, but I was nervous and I panicked. I’m so sorry, Brittany.”
Brittany sniffled and wrapped her arms around her tightly, “I missed you, San. So much. Don’t ever leave me again, okay?”
Santana pulled back and looked into Brittany’s eyes with complete honesty, “I don’t plan on it, B, I promise. I’m yours… not going anywhere.”
“I love you, Santana,” Brittany whispered.
“And I love you, fully and completely,” Santana said, pressing their lips together to seal her words. She whimpered against Brittany as their bodies molded together, bringing her hands up to tangle in the blonde locks that had draped across the pillow.
Santana marveled in the feeling of Brittany’s lips as they worked against hers. It felt so natural as they moved together that she couldn’t help but smile into their kiss. She placed one last peck on perfect lips before rolling her forehead against Brittany’s and just enjoying their closeness as the blonde traced shaped against the polyester of her Cheerio’s uniform.
With every swirl of firm fingers against her back, Brittany sent shivers down her spine. So she lay there, body molded against Brittany’s and head resting on her shoulder, trembling occasionally. She brought her own hand up to mimic Brittany’s movements against the girl’s collar bone, tracing the freckles that appeared there.
She closed her eyes and pressed her lips against Brittany’s pulse point, moving her hand to grip at the back of her neck. The pressure on her back began to grow as Brittany’s movements became less sporadic. There was a whimper as Santana gripped the back of Brittany’s neck more tightly, pressing firmer, wetter kisses to the pulse point beneath her. She felt the blonde press her body impossibly closers to her and couldn’t do anything but return the gesture.
It had always amazed Santana how perfectly their bodies could fit together, each curve and bend having a perfect compliment on the other. The thought fueled the already growing flame in her stomach. She needed to be as close to Brittany as possible. She first shifted so she was lying directly on top of her, allowing herself to reach down and capture Brittany’s lips in an open mouthed kiss before slowly raising off of her.
“San?” Brittany whimpered out.
With a quick last kiss to slightly swollen lips, Santana pulled back completely, smiling down at Brittany as she slid her feet down to the floor and stood up.
“San?” Brittany’s voice was panicked now and she reached out to grab at her uniform, “No! Please, don’t. You promised,” she gasped out, sitting up on the bed, “You promised you wouldn’t leave.”
“Shhh, B,” Santana comforted, leaning down to fully kiss the blonde, “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Then what are you doing?” Brittany asked nerviously.
Santana smiled down at her, running her hand through Brittany’s hair. “What I should have done months ago,” she whispered against her lips.
When she stood back, Brittany was looking at her with confused eyes from where she now sat on the edge of the bed. Santana just smiled down at her and slowly brought her hands up to the zipper of her Cheerios uniform. She held Brittany’s gaze before pulling the sipper up slowly until it came undone. Taking a deep breath, she crossed her arms in front of her, grasping the bottom of the red material and slowly pulled up.
Brittany’s eyes watched her intently, gazing over her body, but she didn’t feel uncomfortable. She felt warm and beautiful under Brittany’s stare as she pulled the top over her head and let it drop heavily to the floor besides her. She smiled sheepishly down at Brittany before moving to the zipper of her skirt.
“No,” Brittany said softly.
“What?” Santana turned to look down at her, “Why not?”
Brittany slid forward a ways on the bed and reached out to pull Santana’s hips forward. “Because I want to,” she said, looking up gingerly.
Pale hands slipped around to her lower back until they found the zipper. Santana just smiled lovingly down at the girl below her, reaching up to run her hands through Brittany’s incredibly soft hair. She felt the light tug as Brittany began to slowly work the zipper down. When it wouldn’t open anymore, the material slid off her hips to the floor easily and she stepped out of the skirt, removing her sneakers soon after.
She now stood in front of Brittany in her bra and spanks. And as adorable as Brittany was in her oversized, worn hoodie, Santana disliked the barrier keeping her from the beautiful body underneath. So she reached down and grasped the hem of the heavy material and slowly lifted it up.
Brittany gladly raised her arms and allowed her to completely remove the garment. Blonde hair cascaded down as the material was pulled off and dropped leisurely next to the discarded Cheerios uniform. Santana brought her hands up to gently brush them over pale shoulders, watching as goose bumped formed in their wake. She trailed them down long arms and then back up, gently grazing over Brittany’s back.
The blonde shivered and stared up into her eyes longingly and reached up to snake her hand to the back of Santana’s neck, pulling down heavily. Santana’s hands reached the clasp of Brittany’s bra as their mouths connected, this time with more passion. With as swipe of her tongue, Santana easily snapped open the clasp under her fingers.
Her hands traced up the now loose straps until they reached the top of Brittany’s shoulders and slipped under the soft material. She slowly slid the straps down, never breaking their kiss, allowing the garment to fall lightly on the floor between them. But she paused, suddenly very aware that this time, touching Brittany meant so much more than all the other times they had done this. And she reveled in it, sucking lightly on Brittany’s bottom lip before tracing her fingers back up pale arms until they reached the swell of Brittany’s chest.
Brittany had intertwined her fingers in her hair, the gentle tug turning into a more persistent one as she pulled her closer. Santana felt her heart swell as she brought her palm down to rest gently above Brittany’s heart. She allowed it to stay there for a while as their mouths danced, counting the beats as they increased below her hand.
She kissed the blonde deep and hard, sliding her tongue against Brittany’s and guiding her hand down to gently squeeze Brittany’s exposed chest. The blonde whimpered and began to lean back, pulling them back down against the comforter. Santana moved one hand to Brittany’s lower back and adjusted her so they were lying fully against the bed. They collapsed against each other then, Santana’s hand gently kneading while their tongues molded together.
The burning sensation of Brittany’s skin against hers was back and more intense than it had been a few weeks earlier. It pushed the rest of the air out of Santana’s lungs and she had to slide her mouth off Brittany’s to allow herself to regain at least a bit of her composure. She rested her forehead against Brittany’s, who was sighing contently beneath her. The blonde’s hands had begun their dance on her back again, now tracing aimless shapes against her bare skin as opposed to the rough polyester material that now lay discarded on the floor.
Santana moaned and reached down to capture now full lips, sucking gently as Brittany brought a hand up to easily unclasp her bra. The straps fell down her shoulders while Brittany took to opportunity to drag her hand fully up and down her back, now unencumbered by clothing. Though they were already pressed impossibly tight against each other, Santana wanted to experience the feeling of Brittany’s chest against hers again. So she allowed herself to rise up enough so Brittany could pluck away the remaining barrier.
They moaned simultaneously as they brought their chests together and Santana canted her hips down in an effort to get as close as possible.
“Britt,” she whispered.
“I love you, Santana,” Brittany whispered deeply against her ear and Santana felt herself shiver.
She whimpered and pulled back enough to allow herself to crash her lips against Brittany’s. She didn’t have to ask permission or wait for Brittany to ask, before both of their tongue found each other. Santana couldn’t get enough of Brittany; the feeling of her skin against hers and her tongue swirling in her mouth. She never wanted it to stop and she wanted more. She wanted all of Brittany.
She knew every crevice and every dimple on the blonde’s body through years of friendship and leaning about each other’s anatomies. But tonight, Santana felt as though she was touching Brittany for the very first time and she didn’t want to leave any rock unturned.
She started peppering kisses down her jaw, keeping their bodies pressed together but allowing her hands to travel and learn the familiar territory.
“San,” Brittany whimpered in her ear. Brittany’s hands had moved to rest on her hips, hooking under the red spandex that remained of her uniform and squeezing lightly. Santana hummed against her neck and Brittany moaned, “I need you, I need all of you,” she whispered.
“So bad,” Santana panted as she bit down on Brittany’s pulse point. The hands on her hips moved down further, pulling her spanks down slightly as thumbs traced the top of her thighs.
“Take these off, baby,” Brittany purred into her ear and Santana shivered. Brittany pulled the material down further and Santana felt the cool air of the room hit her backside.
Part Three of Three