if you're not in the mood for a rant, don't read this...

[sm11_18]

hmmm...so yeah. still not happy w/act and sat scores, but at least i'm not alone. ap chem final on THURS. which i had forgotten about b/c i'm not taking the ap test....oops. probably going to fail. super. awesome. art fieldtrip tomorrow. mmm...i'm sick of ib art, art is supposed to enjoyable, mmm...no, i like the idea of the class it's a cool philosophy and all, but i have no time and seeing how things are going down for next year....i might drop it and take a fun art class. screw the gradepoint - so if i don't take all weighted classes wtf, right? colleges take out the weight anyway and if i screw up my #10 spot - i don't care b/c nobody cares about # 10 anyway - it's always top 5. i'll probably change my mind next year, but i don't care. absolutely fed up w/just about everything - mostly angry at me, actually i am angry at me. no excuses. a lot of junk to clean up....bugged about college - i don't know what i want anymore. i've spent way too much time making sure everyone was happy that i don't friggen know what i want. Sra. had it right the other day when she told me i was involved in way too many things. i dunno. i don't even enjoy half the stuff i used to. hell, i can't even just go and take a walk because if i do, then i won't get a, b,c, d, e, f,g, and so on.... done. opportunity costs. I don't know what i want, but i do know it's not what i have right now. helpful? no. pretty cynical right now. lovely what the teen years and dramaticism can do for you - mania - up one day, way down the next. super.i just want to start over. pretty much frustrated with EVERYTHING right now. summer's not going to be much better. if i end up doing v for xc, it would be awesome, but will it affect soccer? i wouldn't be playing for fc, which was fun, but too much $. i don't want to sit on the bench again next year. argh! i'll shut up.
i should go study for ap chem but i'm far too angry to pull that off right now. i'll study on the bus tomorrow to and from Chicago and wed. night T and i are working out a major study session.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just sick of it all.