(no subject)
so yeah. prom was fun. could have been more fun, but i was in a bad mood. i don't really want to get into that right now, but it's just mounting frustrations. so yeah. um, so i took a long nap, did some homework, ate dinner, did some more homework. yeah. i just finished my "personal essay" i know it's too long and i had to cut some stuff out of my resume to make it one page, but oh well. i used the duke question - the ethical dilemma - and i hope it's okay. probably will. so yeah. not impressed with act or sat, but i'll take them again, talk to mrs. norgal and mrs. noe about math and grammar. my science and reading were pretty good. hmm.. so yeah. need to get a major catch-up on art, but not tonight. i have a lovely hacking cough that i woke up with this morning and my chest feels like it does an hour or so after i have an asthma attack. fun. not really. oh well. mmm...so yes, tomorrow is back to school and i'm getting back into running tomorrow - yay! but not really b/c starting out again sucks majorly. not like i don't run in soccer and work hard, but it's all sprinting and sprinting is anaerobic -so it doesn't help you all that much -esp. for long term health benefits and only temporarily raises your max VO2 - you lose your fitness much quicker when you don't do some sort of aerobic workout - i'm not knocking sprinting and anaerobic workouts b/c we need them, but it can't be the only thing that I do. plus, i'd like to drop another 10 before summer comes... i think 5 or 7 is more realistic before summer and over the summer i can lose more. i don't want to lose too much b/c i don't want to affect skiing and make 3 years of embarrassing failure 4 years of embarrassing failure. so...i need to run and get strong (lifting weights and that won't make me big and beefy b/c i'm a girl and girls can't bulk up unless they take steroids or body build - so there!) meh...plus, i want to be able to pull off my blue dress for homecoming in the fall and look good for senior pictures, when i get around to scheduling them... oh shoot i need to start studying regularly for the ap chem final b/c i decided not to take the ap test, so that gave me a month and a half less of stress. so much stuff coming up - neenah tournament next weekend, 3 first communions, projects, panama! meeting, workcamp! meeting and AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! but you know what? I got Confirmed, which was amazing, but also cleared up some stress b/c the logbook is in, the extended essay just needs some cuts ("some" meaning 1500 words...), prom is out of the way, and yeah. so yeah.
mmm the inferiority complex index is on the rise. must be in the 300s by now. hmmm...yeah. hmm...
the sad thing is that summer is not going to be any bit more relaxing - i will be working just as hard - running and training, college searches, IB art, ap english, ap econ, tok, ib physics (possibly).... i need to get 2 RSW's done this summer (in addition to finishing the one i already have) i need more pieces... i should talk to Mr. b to figure out if i can drop ib art and take a fun class like photo or advanced drawing and painting or comparative religions or philosophy - screw the gradepoint. so if i don't take 8 weighted classes, wth. then i won't be top ten - i don't care. i hate that class. i hate art class - that's funny - used to be one of my favorite classes. I don't hate Mrs. or Mr. I hate the class. i hate ib art. i want to take photo or adv. drawing and painting or something FUN. NOT IB ART! i hate art theses! I hate art critiques. I hate having my artwork having to stick to a thesis. I can't get anything done b/c i'm preoccupied with the workload and ib and life and that STUPID thesis.
Upset with some people for stupid decisions that if they would use their common sense they wouldn't make them. i'm not going to stand on a friggen soap box and evangelically preach about this and that, but it's starting to really bug me.
frustrated. annoyed. sick and tired (in both senses of the phrase). disappointed. disillusioned. cynical. negative. obejctively subjective. angry. jealous. scream now? no. but the inferiority complex index is on the rise.
grr...bad thing is i don't want to sleep right now. i don't want to do anything. i don't want to read or do art or even play the piano or the flute or run. i want to play soccer, but seeing that it's quarter to eleven, that's not happening... grrrrrr...........
whatever. i should go do something productive.
mmm the inferiority complex index is on the rise. must be in the 300s by now. hmmm...yeah. hmm...
the sad thing is that summer is not going to be any bit more relaxing - i will be working just as hard - running and training, college searches, IB art, ap english, ap econ, tok, ib physics (possibly).... i need to get 2 RSW's done this summer (in addition to finishing the one i already have) i need more pieces... i should talk to Mr. b to figure out if i can drop ib art and take a fun class like photo or advanced drawing and painting or comparative religions or philosophy - screw the gradepoint. so if i don't take 8 weighted classes, wth. then i won't be top ten - i don't care. i hate that class. i hate art class - that's funny - used to be one of my favorite classes. I don't hate Mrs. or Mr. I hate the class. i hate ib art. i want to take photo or adv. drawing and painting or something FUN. NOT IB ART! i hate art theses! I hate art critiques. I hate having my artwork having to stick to a thesis. I can't get anything done b/c i'm preoccupied with the workload and ib and life and that STUPID thesis.
Upset with some people for stupid decisions that if they would use their common sense they wouldn't make them. i'm not going to stand on a friggen soap box and evangelically preach about this and that, but it's starting to really bug me.
frustrated. annoyed. sick and tired (in both senses of the phrase). disappointed. disillusioned. cynical. negative. obejctively subjective. angry. jealous. scream now? no. but the inferiority complex index is on the rise.
grr...bad thing is i don't want to sleep right now. i don't want to do anything. i don't want to read or do art or even play the piano or the flute or run. i want to play soccer, but seeing that it's quarter to eleven, that's not happening... grrrrrr...........
whatever. i should go do something productive.