Wolf Under Attack
When Wild Woman is cornered, she does not surrender, she comes ahead, claws out and fighting.
If I have been an asshole (lately, recently, for the past five years or so) this is why. Always, always under attack. That's what it feels like.
And I don't feel secure, no, because I am in a corner and there is nobody in here with me fighting on my side.
Trapped, cornered, no way out.
This is what I can't explain, is why does it feel like this, because I don't expect other people to understand that I have nobody. I have Nigel but--any time I tell him anything he takes the other side. He does the devil's advocate bullshit.
And on a daily basis I don't see anyone else. The days I do, it's the people at the grocery store.
I talk to guildies on Vent but that's not anything, really, it's escape, me into the game where I have the ability to accomplish the things I want to accomplish, where I have friends to help me when I need them. In real life I have nobody.
And nobody has me. Nobody has my back.
It's trust, is what it is, I guess, and how I don't. Don't ever trust anybody not to attack.
If I have been an asshole (lately, recently, for the past five years or so) this is why. Always, always under attack. That's what it feels like.
And I don't feel secure, no, because I am in a corner and there is nobody in here with me fighting on my side.
Trapped, cornered, no way out.
This is what I can't explain, is why does it feel like this, because I don't expect other people to understand that I have nobody. I have Nigel but--any time I tell him anything he takes the other side. He does the devil's advocate bullshit.
And on a daily basis I don't see anyone else. The days I do, it's the people at the grocery store.
I talk to guildies on Vent but that's not anything, really, it's escape, me into the game where I have the ability to accomplish the things I want to accomplish, where I have friends to help me when I need them. In real life I have nobody.
And nobody has me. Nobody has my back.
It's trust, is what it is, I guess, and how I don't. Don't ever trust anybody not to attack.