(no subject)
Title: You Can Say What You Mean But It Won't Change A Thing
Fandom: Lost
Characters/Pairings: Jack, Kate
Word Count: 872
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: #11 - Questions for 12_stories
Summary: "We crashed; eight people survived that, and two died right afterwards. We got off when a passing ship found us." Her voice is less confrontational now that he's stopped fighting her. "Anybody asks questions we stick to our story and hope we don't get caught."
He can’t stay in that room with them any longer. Kate only succeeds in reminding him of how much a liar she is, was, and has always been. Sayid just chimes in that it’s the only way, and Sun and Hurley nod their heads in agreement, because no one is going to disagree with Kate and Sayid at this point. Jack has done this before, over the caves, and he knows he’s going to lose in the end, knows that they’re so much better at convincing people than he is nowadays.
So he doesn’t bother. He leaves out the door the second he can, pack of smokes in his hand. He quit before the island, now that he’s back he finds himself wanting them more and more. The smoke reminds him of Sawyer and he can deal with cravings in order to avoid thinking about these people he left behind. It’s too late for precautions like that now - they’re all he can think about.
He barely gets the cigarette between his lips and lit before he hears the door he exited from open again behind him, someone stepping out and exhaling deeply.
Kate comes to stand next to him, takes one long look at him, before asking, “When did you start smoking?”
Jack just wanted to be alone; go figure, that’s always the time she chooses to come see him. “Why aren’t you in there with the others?”
“You can’t answer a question with a question.” It’s a weird battle for her to pick. It doesn’t really mean much in the end.
“You do.”
She looks down, shakes her head, “Point taken.”
He’s quiet for a long while, just standing in the chilled air, until the cigarette burns down and he stomps it out with the heel of his shoe. She still doesn’t leave. Can’t take the hint, and so he says, “I don’t think this is the right thing to do.”
“I didn’t think you would.” She admits, not seeming too bothered by that fact. “What happened in that - place - it isn’t anyone else’s business.”
“We’re lying to all those families about what happened. We’re telling people their loved ones are dead when they aren’t.” Jack can’t fathom any of this. “How is that not anyone else’s business?”
“Your mom thought you were dead. And Hurley’s family. All of ours did.” Kate has that look, the one she gets when she has decided that she’s right and no one else is going to change her mind. “This isn’t our cover-up Jack; this isn’t our fault. And why should we cause them any more pain then they’ve already gone through? Why reopen old wounds when there’s nothing we can do about it?”
“There is something we can do about it.”
“You want to go back there? You want to take that risk?” He looks away from her. “This is for the better.”
He bites back the rest of his argument, in favor of asking, “So what’s the story?”
“We crashed; eight people survived that, and two died right afterwards. We got off when a passing ship found us.” Her voice is less confrontational, now that he’s stopped fighting it. “Anybody asks questions we stick to that and hope we don’t get caught in a lie. Sayid wants to iron out the finer details but he didn’t want to do it without you.”
“I don’t want to go back in there.”
“You really don’t have much of a choice. With or without you we’re going to do this.” Jack’s not so sure he likes this side of her very much. He’s always known she had it in her but he never had to acknowledge it until it was staring him dead in the face.
He’s thought about getting off the island before. They all have. Never did he imagine that the first thing they would do was try and sync up their stories. Never did he imagine it would be like this.
The first time he’s been alone with her since they got off the island and they’re fighting and discussing morals and right and wrong. There are so many other things he’d like to be saying right now but she won’t let him and they wouldn’t come out right if he tried.
Now is not the time.
He’s not sure there ever will be a time.
He gives up, this time for good. He’s going to end up going back in there, no matter what he wants. He knows that all his protests aren’t going to get him anything but lectured.
“Alright?” She finally says, as if checking to see if he’s still in there, he’s been quiet for so long. There’s so many ways that question could be interpreted and the answer is kind of the same for all of them. No, not really, but I’m getting used to it. None of them have really been alright for awhile now.
And this isn’t what he wants, but it’s what he’s got, and he’s getting used to that disappoint too.
“Yeah. It’s fine.”
She nods and walks back into the building and he stands there with the sensation that he just let a lot of last chances slip right through his fingers.