(no subject)
Title: I Can't Say That I'll Love You Forever
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Characters/Pairings: Meredith, hints of Meredith/Derek and Derek/Rose.
Word Count: 342
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Post 4.11. Meredith thinks about these things through the rush of water, under fluorescent lights that force her to face the facts: she doesn't look good in green and maybe she's been wrong all along.
He doesn’t call.
He doesn’t call and he starts dating that nurse (she says it like it means whore), Rose, the one that was just a kiss. And he smiles. And they flirt. And the more the weeks pass the less time he spends sending sad, brooding looks her way.
This isn’t the way it’s supposed to go. He’s supposed to be all angsty and depressed, like she is, like he’s always been, and then they get back together and life continues on. That’s the plan, that’s always been the plan, and that’s her only plan.
So the fact that she finds him laughing over lunch with Rose, despite the amount of time she spent getting ready this morning, trying to look nice, a carrot over his head? It’s enough to make her flee to the bathroom and hide in there for a good ten minutes.
She still loves him. Always has, still does; she’s smart enough to know that’s not going away anytime soon. But she can’t say it. She can’t say forever because the minute she tries her throat closes up and dipping below the surface of a bathtub. It hasn’t really mattered all that much until now.
Now when he has someone else who can and will say these things and whose relationships aren’t hindered by old baggage that she’s never been able to let go and leave because it did before she had the choice.
Meredith thinks about these things through the rush of running water, under fluorescent lights that force her to face the facts, that she doesn’t look good in green and maybe it’s her who’s been wrong all along.
She misses dirty looks across the OR and beds that aren’t perpetually empty and it’s just now occurring to her that maybe if she’d stopped playing this game of cat and mouse just a little bit earlier she would actually be experiencing, rather than remembering, these things.
It’s just now occurring to her he may really never come back and this time she can’t blame him.
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Characters/Pairings: Meredith, hints of Meredith/Derek and Derek/Rose.
Word Count: 342
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Post 4.11. Meredith thinks about these things through the rush of water, under fluorescent lights that force her to face the facts: she doesn't look good in green and maybe she's been wrong all along.
He doesn’t call.
He doesn’t call and he starts dating that nurse (she says it like it means whore), Rose, the one that was just a kiss. And he smiles. And they flirt. And the more the weeks pass the less time he spends sending sad, brooding looks her way.
This isn’t the way it’s supposed to go. He’s supposed to be all angsty and depressed, like she is, like he’s always been, and then they get back together and life continues on. That’s the plan, that’s always been the plan, and that’s her only plan.
So the fact that she finds him laughing over lunch with Rose, despite the amount of time she spent getting ready this morning, trying to look nice, a carrot over his head? It’s enough to make her flee to the bathroom and hide in there for a good ten minutes.
She still loves him. Always has, still does; she’s smart enough to know that’s not going away anytime soon. But she can’t say it. She can’t say forever because the minute she tries her throat closes up and dipping below the surface of a bathtub. It hasn’t really mattered all that much until now.
Now when he has someone else who can and will say these things and whose relationships aren’t hindered by old baggage that she’s never been able to let go and leave because it did before she had the choice.
Meredith thinks about these things through the rush of running water, under fluorescent lights that force her to face the facts, that she doesn’t look good in green and maybe it’s her who’s been wrong all along.
She misses dirty looks across the OR and beds that aren’t perpetually empty and it’s just now occurring to her that maybe if she’d stopped playing this game of cat and mouse just a little bit earlier she would actually be experiencing, rather than remembering, these things.
It’s just now occurring to her he may really never come back and this time she can’t blame him.