um yeah,
well, im bored so i will write in this thing again, which i dont know why im writing in it, its pointless. but aw well, you dont have 2 read it. so thats cool for you or something i dont know.
i dont rly know what i feel anymore. i thought i miteve had feelings for some1, but then i guess i didnt. but i still know that i feel the same about lauren. hm, she may be the only one for me rite now, ill just have 2 deal with all this shit then. everybody tells me i can have any girl that i want, i guess i cant...well aw well, from what ive seen every1 likes her and yeah.
well, i just realized that ive made a horrible mistake in my life and i have 2 deal with it, ive caused myself 2 get this depressed.well, i dont know if i did or not,i just need something 2 believe...and i need 2 stop holding onto false hopes,ive ruined my own life.
i need to get a life. living alone in a room with a locked door and nothing but a safety pin isnt rly healthy.and if it wasnt for lauren and ilana it wouldnt be a safety pin, itd be a knife. but i cant do that 2 them, not now.and i shouldnt be saying that in here, but i did. aw well im 2 lazy 2 change it.
i dont have a reason 2 stay anymore, but of coarse ilana and lauren would deny that. but if they were fine before they met me, theyd be fine now. i didnt change anything, i never change anything. its very dissapointing looking down at my arm...