Tommy Thompson Gives Terrorists a Road Map as He Leaves Office
WASHINGTON, DC - The Secretary of Health and Human Services, Tommy Thompson, announced his resignation last week and told reporters:
“For the life of me, I cannot understand why the terrorists have not attacked our food supply because it is so easy to do. And we're importing a lot of food from the Middle East, and it would be easy to tamper with that."
What is it about retiring government officials that brings on diarrhea of the mouth? Bongo News caught up with Mr. Thompson to ask him to explain.
“I think they should first poison the food served in Middle Eastern restaurants in America,” the Secretary told us. “That way they could kill off Muslims who deserted the Middle East to try to better themselves in a free society. You don’t want the people back home to see successful examples of Muslims experiencing democracy. That’s what I’d do first.
“Then I’d poison the pita bread. You’d kill a lot of Americans in major cities who’ve become addicted to sandwich wraps.
“Then, by poisoning Turkish Delight, you could kill a lot of children.
“I’d also like to point out that the side door to the Health and Human Services building has a faulty lock, and would make a good entry point if you wanted to blow up the place.”
((Borrowed from my most favorite satirical news site bongo.com))
“For the life of me, I cannot understand why the terrorists have not attacked our food supply because it is so easy to do. And we're importing a lot of food from the Middle East, and it would be easy to tamper with that."
What is it about retiring government officials that brings on diarrhea of the mouth? Bongo News caught up with Mr. Thompson to ask him to explain.
“I think they should first poison the food served in Middle Eastern restaurants in America,” the Secretary told us. “That way they could kill off Muslims who deserted the Middle East to try to better themselves in a free society. You don’t want the people back home to see successful examples of Muslims experiencing democracy. That’s what I’d do first.
“Then I’d poison the pita bread. You’d kill a lot of Americans in major cities who’ve become addicted to sandwich wraps.
“Then, by poisoning Turkish Delight, you could kill a lot of children.
“I’d also like to point out that the side door to the Health and Human Services building has a faulty lock, and would make a good entry point if you wanted to blow up the place.”
((Borrowed from my most favorite satirical news site bongo.com))