The difference. . . astonishment
I read some old journal things last night, it was astonishing. I have changed a lot, without changing at all. hmm.. how do I explain this? As a child, I got extremely worked up about little things. Now I get extremely worked up over bigger things (like scholarships, college, seeing people, homework etc.) I wonder if i've changed, but looking back, I feel I have, if only a little. heh. (hey, I don't have constant dreams of sucicide anymore, yay me!) lol Although, I beat myself up horribly, I mean its just wrong. If I could, I would enter myself in the "Most Emo-Persona Maschoist" competition. I'd win too! :P
Let's see... today... I ran around trying frantically to get my Video done for FBLA, and now all I have to do is add some music, and i'm ready to rock. I also have a speech to write (haven't started.. ) and have to study, and perfect my Ms. FBL intreview skills. I guess that is the event I want to win in the most. XD
Went to jason's house today. I felt out of place, but I usually do when I go to other people's friends' houses. Jason is cool though! He drew Andromada(sp) flipping people off, heh, and he signed the original for me. I was like awesome! oh, and wrote this sick story about this guy who's wife stops sleeping with him, so he resorts to cheating till she is ready to come back to him. When she comes crying back to him, she asks with who? And he's like "Your mom"... and then she's like "but.. my mom has been dead for four months." Then, he says that he dug up her body, removed her vagina(sp), and had been fucking it. You can imagine the woman's blank stare and confusion. XD (creative, no? twisted as hell but creative)
I went to play practice after that. I think i'm in an acting slump..I couldn't get out my quality voice, or actions.. nothing I did in practice was satisfactory to me. But, I guess you can't win them all.
*yawns*
I... want to write something more intresting... I want to be more intresting than just daily events.. but my creativity is being drained, as is my words by school. Werid, no? At one point in my life I would barely use any of my immagination in school, but now it is a constant theme of life. I wanted so badly to do something memorable this year, but I'm afraid that my best memories are the ones that I made outside school. lol
OH! I actually, not that you can tell from the rubbish above, have a passion for writing. I choose words quite carefully when writing seriously. But, something else i'm good at is developing movies. My Business Tech teacher said this about me (roundabout): I was watching the awards last night, and this young director guy came on stage to accept an award. And the speech he gave made me think of you steph, he said: "I...my Jr. High guidance counselor. Where he said, "What do you want to do with your life?" And I said, "Make movies." And he said, "What if there were no movies?" I said, "Then, I'll invent movies." (ps... may not be 100% accurate:P)"
I guess.. in a way we share one thing... when we finally decide on dream.. (still working on it) then we will make it happen..no matter what. ^^
Let's see... today... I ran around trying frantically to get my Video done for FBLA, and now all I have to do is add some music, and i'm ready to rock. I also have a speech to write (haven't started.. ) and have to study, and perfect my Ms. FBL intreview skills. I guess that is the event I want to win in the most. XD
Went to jason's house today. I felt out of place, but I usually do when I go to other people's friends' houses. Jason is cool though! He drew Andromada(sp) flipping people off, heh, and he signed the original for me. I was like awesome! oh, and wrote this sick story about this guy who's wife stops sleeping with him, so he resorts to cheating till she is ready to come back to him. When she comes crying back to him, she asks with who? And he's like "Your mom"... and then she's like "but.. my mom has been dead for four months." Then, he says that he dug up her body, removed her vagina(sp), and had been fucking it. You can imagine the woman's blank stare and confusion. XD (creative, no? twisted as hell but creative)
I went to play practice after that. I think i'm in an acting slump..I couldn't get out my quality voice, or actions.. nothing I did in practice was satisfactory to me. But, I guess you can't win them all.
*yawns*
I... want to write something more intresting... I want to be more intresting than just daily events.. but my creativity is being drained, as is my words by school. Werid, no? At one point in my life I would barely use any of my immagination in school, but now it is a constant theme of life. I wanted so badly to do something memorable this year, but I'm afraid that my best memories are the ones that I made outside school. lol
OH! I actually, not that you can tell from the rubbish above, have a passion for writing. I choose words quite carefully when writing seriously. But, something else i'm good at is developing movies. My Business Tech teacher said this about me (roundabout): I was watching the awards last night, and this young director guy came on stage to accept an award. And the speech he gave made me think of you steph, he said: "I...my Jr. High guidance counselor. Where he said, "What do you want to do with your life?" And I said, "Make movies." And he said, "What if there were no movies?" I said, "Then, I'll invent movies." (ps... may not be 100% accurate:P)"
I guess.. in a way we share one thing... when we finally decide on dream.. (still working on it) then we will make it happen..no matter what. ^^