The Night Before Christmas
"You'll be doing alright, with your christmas of white, but I'll have a blue christmas."
It's the night before christmas, and here I sit writing in my journal. While many things have been coming and going, various projects and such. Nothing has mattered too much. It's kept me busy doing all my little school work.. but in retrospect, does it all matter? Probably not, but I'll do it anyways. It will give me something to do to pass the time, for time does so need to pass. Somedays, I get so frustrated that I just want to get in my car, and drive till I reach where ever, I've been tempted so many times.
My grandma Smith is spending tomorrow with us I believe. I sure hope so, I miss her like crazy. I'm listening to Christmas Jazz, and dreaming. I wish I could of lived in the 20s, just so my voice could be heard and not sound funny. In today's music scene my way of singing, well its outlawed. I want some jazz to be brought back in our music today, but not in the bebop way. It needs just good ole jazz and swing. ^^
My list of things to do(in order of need):
Pick up dad's and sophie's shirt wed, and place new order
Apply to Webster (essay writingDresden Dolls Tickets
Culture Fest Outline
Create an Anime website
.... there's more .. but i just don't want to think about it XD
I'm not a philosopher, and existentialism sucks, but the question of why is constantly plaguing me now days. I can't seem to get it off my brain, why do I care, why do I do that, why do I put up with that, why am I asking myself this now, why am I here? There are millions of whys, and the more one thinks about them, the less time you have to figure out the answer. Thinking is all good and dandy, but experiencing will tell one the truth or not. So, if I am to figure out my "whys"... I need to act.. but now.. how? I guess I need to get the hell out of here to figure that out. ^^ I got a plan, now I just have to put it into action.
People do not dream, when the real world blinds them. I have been horribly blinded by reality and know not when my dreams will return.
It's the night before christmas, and here I sit writing in my journal. While many things have been coming and going, various projects and such. Nothing has mattered too much. It's kept me busy doing all my little school work.. but in retrospect, does it all matter? Probably not, but I'll do it anyways. It will give me something to do to pass the time, for time does so need to pass. Somedays, I get so frustrated that I just want to get in my car, and drive till I reach where ever, I've been tempted so many times.
My grandma Smith is spending tomorrow with us I believe. I sure hope so, I miss her like crazy. I'm listening to Christmas Jazz, and dreaming. I wish I could of lived in the 20s, just so my voice could be heard and not sound funny. In today's music scene my way of singing, well its outlawed. I want some jazz to be brought back in our music today, but not in the bebop way. It needs just good ole jazz and swing. ^^
My list of things to do(in order of need):
Pick up dad's and sophie's shirt wed, and place new order
Apply to Webster (essay writingDresden Dolls Tickets
Culture Fest Outline
Create an Anime website
.... there's more .. but i just don't want to think about it XD
I'm not a philosopher, and existentialism sucks, but the question of why is constantly plaguing me now days. I can't seem to get it off my brain, why do I care, why do I do that, why do I put up with that, why am I asking myself this now, why am I here? There are millions of whys, and the more one thinks about them, the less time you have to figure out the answer. Thinking is all good and dandy, but experiencing will tell one the truth or not. So, if I am to figure out my "whys"... I need to act.. but now.. how? I guess I need to get the hell out of here to figure that out. ^^ I got a plan, now I just have to put it into action.
People do not dream, when the real world blinds them. I have been horribly blinded by reality and know not when my dreams will return.