I'm a monster, are you?
So summer semester has begun, and I'm already tired. But that's not what I wanted to blog about.
Since I am in an education major, almost every class I take there's some kind of "get to know your classmates activity." I can't tell you how much I hate these. I KNOW people panic when they're "forced" to interact with me after they see that I'm the one who has a transliterator (similar to an interpreter, but for cued speech, they're called transliterators). I can just see the wheels turning in their head and their eyes starting to widen, like a deer caught in the headlights.
Anyway, we had to do a meet and greet activity. We had two minutes to interact with someone we did not know, and for me, that meant ANYONE in my class. These girls are all elementary education majors, and getting their bachelor's. There's only two of us getting a master's, and I'm one of them. I'm also the only one in the SPED major. This means that pretty much everyone knows everyone...but me. The first girl was pretty cool about it, she's just as anti-social as I am, it was great :) The next guy....he's doing an intern, and isn't in a major anything, just doing this class for professional development. He's a SPED teacher....and well, talking with him is interesting because he doesn't finish his sentences, but he's a nice guy. Third girl...this is the typical response I get in these activities, and it always seems to get to me a little. Here's how it goes (please note this is a memory, so not everything may be said exactly the way it did happen, but it's a close approximate):
I spot a girl, make eye contact with her, and start walking towards her.
Girl looks around, realizing...too late, she's stuck with me walking towards her.
Girl twiddles thumb, looks down, looks up at me and gives a *HUGE* smile...a polite one if you will.
Girl sees transliterator following me.
I see small twitch in girl's expression.
Me - "Hi, my name is Emilie, what's yours?"
Girl - "Oh good! So you CAN speak and you CAN hear some."
I just stare at her.
Girl - "you can hear me right?"
Me - "No, there's too much background noise going on, and I really don't have that much hearing. That's what my transliterators are here for, to help me out *smile*"
Girl - "oh...well, you speak very well, and that's not ASL is it?"
Then the conversation leads into cued speech for the next minute or two, and we sit down.
I swear, I am NOT a monster. Even if I couldn't speak or hear, I'd still be able to successfully interact with you. I just hate knowing that I'm "imposing" on to another person's comfort zone because they know I have a disability, and aren't totally sure what to do. I admit, when I see someone in a wheelchair, it kind of freaks me out. I go through the whole "I hope I don't say anything offensive, I hope I don't make them hate me, I hope my legs are ugly today so they can say 'I'm glad I don't have HER legs'".
Then I have to remember the thought process I go through when people are meeting me. "Here we go, I'm sure she/he's nice. Let's see if they can get past the fact that I'm deaf." That's usually it, I then go on to "judge" you like any other normal person would.
So believe me, I don't notice whether your ears are ugly or not. I just see you as a person, just as I hope you can see me as a person.
Since I am in an education major, almost every class I take there's some kind of "get to know your classmates activity." I can't tell you how much I hate these. I KNOW people panic when they're "forced" to interact with me after they see that I'm the one who has a transliterator (similar to an interpreter, but for cued speech, they're called transliterators). I can just see the wheels turning in their head and their eyes starting to widen, like a deer caught in the headlights.
Anyway, we had to do a meet and greet activity. We had two minutes to interact with someone we did not know, and for me, that meant ANYONE in my class. These girls are all elementary education majors, and getting their bachelor's. There's only two of us getting a master's, and I'm one of them. I'm also the only one in the SPED major. This means that pretty much everyone knows everyone...but me. The first girl was pretty cool about it, she's just as anti-social as I am, it was great :) The next guy....he's doing an intern, and isn't in a major anything, just doing this class for professional development. He's a SPED teacher....and well, talking with him is interesting because he doesn't finish his sentences, but he's a nice guy. Third girl...this is the typical response I get in these activities, and it always seems to get to me a little. Here's how it goes (please note this is a memory, so not everything may be said exactly the way it did happen, but it's a close approximate):
I spot a girl, make eye contact with her, and start walking towards her.
Girl looks around, realizing...too late, she's stuck with me walking towards her.
Girl twiddles thumb, looks down, looks up at me and gives a *HUGE* smile...a polite one if you will.
Girl sees transliterator following me.
I see small twitch in girl's expression.
Me - "Hi, my name is Emilie, what's yours?"
Girl - "Oh good! So you CAN speak and you CAN hear some."
I just stare at her.
Girl - "you can hear me right?"
Me - "No, there's too much background noise going on, and I really don't have that much hearing. That's what my transliterators are here for, to help me out *smile*"
Girl - "oh...well, you speak very well, and that's not ASL is it?"
Then the conversation leads into cued speech for the next minute or two, and we sit down.
I swear, I am NOT a monster. Even if I couldn't speak or hear, I'd still be able to successfully interact with you. I just hate knowing that I'm "imposing" on to another person's comfort zone because they know I have a disability, and aren't totally sure what to do. I admit, when I see someone in a wheelchair, it kind of freaks me out. I go through the whole "I hope I don't say anything offensive, I hope I don't make them hate me, I hope my legs are ugly today so they can say 'I'm glad I don't have HER legs'".
Then I have to remember the thought process I go through when people are meeting me. "Here we go, I'm sure she/he's nice. Let's see if they can get past the fact that I'm deaf." That's usually it, I then go on to "judge" you like any other normal person would.
So believe me, I don't notice whether your ears are ugly or not. I just see you as a person, just as I hope you can see me as a person.