(no subject)
Laura Harty
“Myspace Geeks”
The sun blazed through my window, forcing my eyes open. I glanced at the clock. It read 3:00 pm.
“Too early,” I muttered and rolled back over.
That was just before the damn phone rang. Now I don’t have many friends so I wondered who could be calling me at this time of day. I figured it was probably the bank calling to complain about my late bill payments again. I listened as the answering machine picked up. My voice sounded throughout the house
“This is Allen. Leave a message after the beep. Especially if you’re a female…” beeeeep.
The caller hung up.
“Good.” I mumbled and tried to go back to sleep, but at this point the sun shone so brightly in on me that even if I closed my eyes it wasn’t dark. So, I got out of bed and fumbled to the bathroom.
I opened the door to the bathroom and tried to ignore the odor. I looked in the cracked mirror. My half-awake self stared back at me. I ran my fingers over my balding head, turned on the faucet and splashed my face with water. I reached for a towel, but after realizing I didn’t have any clean opted for my shirt instead. I glanced around at the tiny bathroom. It was invaded with mold and grime, something I had gotten used to. The trashcan was over flowing with beer bottles. I picked one up, hoping to find it a wounded solider, but after realizing there was no beer left in the can, tossed it over my shoulder.
I walked back into my bedroom and plopped back down on my bed. Staring at the ceiling I thought about what I wanted to do that day. It was still relatively early, so I had the whole day ahead of me. I knew I should look for a job, but it was just too nice of a day to do that. I rolled over, flicked on my out of date computer, and went to my favorite website, Myspace. As the site loaded I saw my “Pouty Pose” picture staring back at me. My head was cocked to one side, my lips were pressed together, and my gray hair was slicked back. I looked good. Real good.
I scrolled down and noticed I had one new message and friend request. I went to the friend request first. To my surprise it wasn’t a band asking for my approval like usual. Instead, a beautiful woman’s picture popped up. She looked about my age. Her gray hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she had a bright smile on her face. Above her picture was her default name, Betty. I clicked approve (obviously!). Then, I went to check my messages. I prayed that one would be from her, and to my luck it was. I eagerly went to open the message just as an IM popped up on my screen from an unfamiliar screen name, beDDybOOp62.
beDDybOOp62: Hey! Is this Alan?
AlanISme63: Yup Who’s this?
beDDybOOp62: This is Betty from myspace. I got your screen name from your myspace page.
AlanISme63: Ohh hey! I just was about to read your message you sent me.
I clicked on my inbox and began to read her message. It said she was new to the area and was looking to meet new people.
“Perfect!” I thought to myself.
beDDybOOp62: U there?
AlanISme63: Yeah sorry. I was just reading your message.
beDDybOOp62: Ohh that’s fine. So what do you say we meet up sometime?
This chick was interested. I knew those mirror shots I posted a few days before would catch someone’s eye.
AlanISme63: Sounds good to me!
beDDybOOp62: How about tonight? Are you busy tonight?
Wow. This broad really wanted to meet me. I looked at her page again. Pink Floyd’s comfortably numb was her song she had playing. I clicked on her pictures. There was a picture of her on a bike. It was sort of intimidating but definitely cute.
AlanISme63: Tonight sounds fine to me.
beDDybOOp62: How about we meet at Olive Garden at 8?
AlanISme63: Actually, I’m running a little low on cash. How does Friendly’s sound to you?
BeDDybOOp62: That works I guess. 8:00?
AlanISme63: I’ll see you then!
beDDybOOp62: Looking forward to it.
AlanISme63: Me too!
She signed off.
I got up and went over to my dresser. The framed picture of Pam Anderson in her Baywatch days stared back at me. I picked it up and put it away. There was a new lady in my life now.
I went back to the bathroom and decided to shower. As I got in the shower, the cool water felt good against my body. That’s when it hit me. What if she didn’t like me.
Truth was, I was not all that familiar with the female species. According to my calculations it had been three years, eleven months, and nineteen days since I had come in real contact with a female. What if she thought I was a low life. After all, I was a 43-year-old unemployed male who surfed the Internet for fun.
* * *
The rest of the day seemed to drag on. I shot back a couple drinks, just to ease my nerves here and there.
“Myspace Geeks”
The sun blazed through my window, forcing my eyes open. I glanced at the clock. It read 3:00 pm.
“Too early,” I muttered and rolled back over.
That was just before the damn phone rang. Now I don’t have many friends so I wondered who could be calling me at this time of day. I figured it was probably the bank calling to complain about my late bill payments again. I listened as the answering machine picked up. My voice sounded throughout the house
“This is Allen. Leave a message after the beep. Especially if you’re a female…” beeeeep.
The caller hung up.
“Good.” I mumbled and tried to go back to sleep, but at this point the sun shone so brightly in on me that even if I closed my eyes it wasn’t dark. So, I got out of bed and fumbled to the bathroom.
I opened the door to the bathroom and tried to ignore the odor. I looked in the cracked mirror. My half-awake self stared back at me. I ran my fingers over my balding head, turned on the faucet and splashed my face with water. I reached for a towel, but after realizing I didn’t have any clean opted for my shirt instead. I glanced around at the tiny bathroom. It was invaded with mold and grime, something I had gotten used to. The trashcan was over flowing with beer bottles. I picked one up, hoping to find it a wounded solider, but after realizing there was no beer left in the can, tossed it over my shoulder.
I walked back into my bedroom and plopped back down on my bed. Staring at the ceiling I thought about what I wanted to do that day. It was still relatively early, so I had the whole day ahead of me. I knew I should look for a job, but it was just too nice of a day to do that. I rolled over, flicked on my out of date computer, and went to my favorite website, Myspace. As the site loaded I saw my “Pouty Pose” picture staring back at me. My head was cocked to one side, my lips were pressed together, and my gray hair was slicked back. I looked good. Real good.
I scrolled down and noticed I had one new message and friend request. I went to the friend request first. To my surprise it wasn’t a band asking for my approval like usual. Instead, a beautiful woman’s picture popped up. She looked about my age. Her gray hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she had a bright smile on her face. Above her picture was her default name, Betty. I clicked approve (obviously!). Then, I went to check my messages. I prayed that one would be from her, and to my luck it was. I eagerly went to open the message just as an IM popped up on my screen from an unfamiliar screen name, beDDybOOp62.
beDDybOOp62: Hey! Is this Alan?
AlanISme63: Yup Who’s this?
beDDybOOp62: This is Betty from myspace. I got your screen name from your myspace page.
AlanISme63: Ohh hey! I just was about to read your message you sent me.
I clicked on my inbox and began to read her message. It said she was new to the area and was looking to meet new people.
“Perfect!” I thought to myself.
beDDybOOp62: U there?
AlanISme63: Yeah sorry. I was just reading your message.
beDDybOOp62: Ohh that’s fine. So what do you say we meet up sometime?
This chick was interested. I knew those mirror shots I posted a few days before would catch someone’s eye.
AlanISme63: Sounds good to me!
beDDybOOp62: How about tonight? Are you busy tonight?
Wow. This broad really wanted to meet me. I looked at her page again. Pink Floyd’s comfortably numb was her song she had playing. I clicked on her pictures. There was a picture of her on a bike. It was sort of intimidating but definitely cute.
AlanISme63: Tonight sounds fine to me.
beDDybOOp62: How about we meet at Olive Garden at 8?
AlanISme63: Actually, I’m running a little low on cash. How does Friendly’s sound to you?
BeDDybOOp62: That works I guess. 8:00?
AlanISme63: I’ll see you then!
beDDybOOp62: Looking forward to it.
AlanISme63: Me too!
She signed off.
I got up and went over to my dresser. The framed picture of Pam Anderson in her Baywatch days stared back at me. I picked it up and put it away. There was a new lady in my life now.
I went back to the bathroom and decided to shower. As I got in the shower, the cool water felt good against my body. That’s when it hit me. What if she didn’t like me.
Truth was, I was not all that familiar with the female species. According to my calculations it had been three years, eleven months, and nineteen days since I had come in real contact with a female. What if she thought I was a low life. After all, I was a 43-year-old unemployed male who surfed the Internet for fun.
* * *
The rest of the day seemed to drag on. I shot back a couple drinks, just to ease my nerves here and there.