i may talk in my sleep tonight
today was an odd day... i felt very slow and quiet all day. dan and i watched "state and main" and it's a really good movie and i love it and i love david mamet. but i was sad all day because of all the things that are making me feel strange and alone right now. not seeing nikki, kirsten moving, and now possibly frank moving too. rosemary reminded me though of all the things i said to her the night i told her that i was transferring, and that made me feel better... that there aren't any boundaries with real friendship. after all patrick lives in chicago and i still see him, and we still love each other. but it's still very strange to think that they are going to be gone. i mean, i don't get to see them often now, but when they live far away it'll be even harder and further apart... and i miss old times when we saw each other every day and every week. when all i had to do was wait, and come saturday and there would be kirsten to hang out with for the whole day. or when frank and i were in art together and we would just sit and talk sometimes for the entire hour, and not even do our art, but it didn't matter because we were together, having these incredibly important conversations... important because they were ours. or when we went to see "lost in space" or when he threw the pennies in the air. and the tulip and the pixie stix with kirs. and all of the poetry that it turned into. i miss my life... i miss it the way it was.