This thing that I've become, you hate it so much...
I just keep running from it.
Why do I drink, really? I know it destroys my emotional stability almost as soon as the buzz starts to die. But here I am anyway. Not smart, Luke. Just not fucking smart. If you're not going to take care of yourself, how do you ever expect to invite someone else in? How can you ever hope to help anyone and share your life if you can't even keep it in control inside your own mind?
Jesus, I'm typing to myself now.
Maybe I'm just crazy. Rambling boy of pleasure and all that.
Oh well. Here's another night dedicated to the memory of everyone and everything I've lost.
Goodbye, friends and lightposts of my life. You're missed more than you'll ever believe. I'd give anything to have those days back, but I'd never take back what I've found in myself since. I just wish I could show you. I just wish you could see me now.
I wish I could see the good in me now.
Instead, all that's left is the darkness and eccentricism. Too much darkness. Far too much darkness.
Strange to feel even more alone in the world with the best friends I could ask for. Strange to look ahead and see an empty future.
But as Chuck Ragan said once: an empty fate just means an even score.
Why do I drink, really? I know it destroys my emotional stability almost as soon as the buzz starts to die. But here I am anyway. Not smart, Luke. Just not fucking smart. If you're not going to take care of yourself, how do you ever expect to invite someone else in? How can you ever hope to help anyone and share your life if you can't even keep it in control inside your own mind?
Jesus, I'm typing to myself now.
Maybe I'm just crazy. Rambling boy of pleasure and all that.
Oh well. Here's another night dedicated to the memory of everyone and everything I've lost.
Goodbye, friends and lightposts of my life. You're missed more than you'll ever believe. I'd give anything to have those days back, but I'd never take back what I've found in myself since. I just wish I could show you. I just wish you could see me now.
I wish I could see the good in me now.
Instead, all that's left is the darkness and eccentricism. Too much darkness. Far too much darkness.
Strange to feel even more alone in the world with the best friends I could ask for. Strange to look ahead and see an empty future.
But as Chuck Ragan said once: an empty fate just means an even score.