(no subject)
megan...im feeling the same way. sometimes i ask questions. then im like, fuck this, there are no answers.
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like, why the fuck had i blown him off the past weeks? why, when he came to my house and told me he was 'melancholy' but 'its not like im gonna kill myself or anything' i didnt get the fact that he was telling me? instead i say, of course not! you're doing well, you're religious and dont believe in that! shit didnt hit me until friday. i was a wreck.
the funeral was sunday, im doing better now. i think. i feel that desperate heaviness and panic in my chest, then blankness. grieving for a young loved one is really, really hard.
xanax, marlboro milds and beer have helped me.
~~~~
like, why the fuck had i blown him off the past weeks? why, when he came to my house and told me he was 'melancholy' but 'its not like im gonna kill myself or anything' i didnt get the fact that he was telling me? instead i say, of course not! you're doing well, you're religious and dont believe in that! shit didnt hit me until friday. i was a wreck.
the funeral was sunday, im doing better now. i think. i feel that desperate heaviness and panic in my chest, then blankness. grieving for a young loved one is really, really hard.
xanax, marlboro milds and beer have helped me.