Changes
I did a bit of driving today and did a lot of thinking which has led me to some decisions and a desire to change. There was a point where I decided that I don't need to be happy with my life, I just need to be content. I've changed that. I want to be happy; I can be happy; I will work and adjust things in my life in order to make myself happy (lest it be at the expense of the happiness of another person. I realize that it is completely within my own power to control my happiness and I intend to do so. Because of this, I will look into the causes of my unhappiness/stress (be them biological, situational, or otherwise) and will do my best to adjust things accordingly.
I am going to work harder in school, if only to kick its ass so that I can move on with my life. Rather than bitching about my problems with school, I'm just going to accept that my professors have justifications for their assignments (even if I don't actually believe that). So when I am asked to do something I don't see good cause to do, I'm going to do it to the best of my ability, get it done with and do another assignment I don't mind doing.
I am also going to try to change myself. I'm going to retain my cynicism and sarcasm (probably) as well as my negativity and pessimism. So long as these things don't interfere with my happiness. I want to be worthy of the love of my parents and friends. I am not, however, doing this for them. I am doing it for me. I am going to live my life in the way I know I should because I know it's the right thing to do, not because my religion tells me to. I am going to find my God and in what form it resides and what interaction it has with me.
I am going to accept my mistakes and learn from them. I am going to appreciate the people/things around me. When something goes wrong during my day, I determine what happened, why it happened, and what I can do to keep it from happening again.
I realize that all these things will take time and patience. But I look forward to doing this. This is what I want to do, so I intend to do it. I will do this for myself and for no one else. I am determined to do this, and I will use that as my motivation.
I will remember this quote and will use it to assist me:
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense"
- Emerson
I will also keep in mind a poster I bought (Desiderata, it was a few posts back if you care to read it).
I hope to combine all these things to better my life. Once I have done so, I will be able to better help others to better their lives in they ways they deem so appropriate.
I am going to work harder in school, if only to kick its ass so that I can move on with my life. Rather than bitching about my problems with school, I'm just going to accept that my professors have justifications for their assignments (even if I don't actually believe that). So when I am asked to do something I don't see good cause to do, I'm going to do it to the best of my ability, get it done with and do another assignment I don't mind doing.
I am also going to try to change myself. I'm going to retain my cynicism and sarcasm (probably) as well as my negativity and pessimism. So long as these things don't interfere with my happiness. I want to be worthy of the love of my parents and friends. I am not, however, doing this for them. I am doing it for me. I am going to live my life in the way I know I should because I know it's the right thing to do, not because my religion tells me to. I am going to find my God and in what form it resides and what interaction it has with me.
I am going to accept my mistakes and learn from them. I am going to appreciate the people/things around me. When something goes wrong during my day, I determine what happened, why it happened, and what I can do to keep it from happening again.
I realize that all these things will take time and patience. But I look forward to doing this. This is what I want to do, so I intend to do it. I will do this for myself and for no one else. I am determined to do this, and I will use that as my motivation.
I will remember this quote and will use it to assist me:
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense"
- Emerson
I will also keep in mind a poster I bought (Desiderata, it was a few posts back if you care to read it).
I hope to combine all these things to better my life. Once I have done so, I will be able to better help others to better their lives in they ways they deem so appropriate.