studying and freaky ass fears
i have a pretty distinct pattern of updating anytime i have a lot of work to do or need to study. this seems to be the case for a few other people i know too. i mostly just sit here and bitch about how i don't want to study and how i hate my life blah blah blah
i was actually doing a really good job of studying but now i just keep thinking of this disgusting ass pictures i saw earlier. after watching heroes and being majorly grossed out by mohinder i decided to read about the fear of holes i have and i found out it's called trypophobia. i seriously can't stand looking at anything with holes/clusters like honeycombs or ant holes and it's been this way for as long as i can remember. on some random forum some girl posted some pictures and now i can't get the horrific images out of my head. i feel all itchy and i want to rip off my skin and throw up. if i wasn't studying i would have taken some anxiety meds and called it a night but i have to somehow try t forget about it. if i keep scratching at myself i'll either bleed or erupt in hives so i might take a shower to see if somehow that'll make me less itchy.
i know that makes me a freak, but w/e. we all have our things. it's amazing how i'm pretty much never grossed out except for when it comes to things like that. i've tried "facing my fear" but i think i just made it worse.
while this entry is still clearly a way to procrastinate, i don't have that much to complain about other than my freaky fear. the past few weeks have been pretty good and i have to take advantage of the good mood i've been in. life has been very... uncomplicated i guess i would say. granted i have a shit ton of stuff to do for this week but i think i started early enough where i won't be totally screwing myself over.
i was actually doing a really good job of studying but now i just keep thinking of this disgusting ass pictures i saw earlier. after watching heroes and being majorly grossed out by mohinder i decided to read about the fear of holes i have and i found out it's called trypophobia. i seriously can't stand looking at anything with holes/clusters like honeycombs or ant holes and it's been this way for as long as i can remember. on some random forum some girl posted some pictures and now i can't get the horrific images out of my head. i feel all itchy and i want to rip off my skin and throw up. if i wasn't studying i would have taken some anxiety meds and called it a night but i have to somehow try t forget about it. if i keep scratching at myself i'll either bleed or erupt in hives so i might take a shower to see if somehow that'll make me less itchy.
i know that makes me a freak, but w/e. we all have our things. it's amazing how i'm pretty much never grossed out except for when it comes to things like that. i've tried "facing my fear" but i think i just made it worse.
while this entry is still clearly a way to procrastinate, i don't have that much to complain about other than my freaky fear. the past few weeks have been pretty good and i have to take advantage of the good mood i've been in. life has been very... uncomplicated i guess i would say. granted i have a shit ton of stuff to do for this week but i think i started early enough where i won't be totally screwing myself over.