What Have I Come To?
So I'm officially a failure. I haven't slept in...hmm...almost 28 hours. I'm really tired and I've become so paranoid lately. I cried this morning thinking about the past. About how I don't have anyone to love me anymore. About how miserable my past relationship was...yet I miss it so. It's pathetic how it took more than 3 chances before I finally broke it off. I'd rather be with him and be miserable until the day I die then to be alone. I don't understand how people can say I'm a nice girl and I'm pretty, but nobody like me. The one person that actually liked me liked 4 other girls in the course of one year. How said is that? I know I was mistreated, but I craved it. I never had love from my parents, and I had finally met someone that cared. And worst of all everyone hated us. They'd laugh at us...they'd talk behind our backs. I no longer have a comfort zone.
I just want to die right now. I absolutely hate the world. I try to escape my parents' bitching about college and me getting a job...and then my friends are all fakes. They all make up shit and leave me dangling there. It's no wonder I don't trust anyone. They all lie to me just to see how I will react. It's so stupid. I just want to stab my heart right now. I hate myself.