Lay me off already eff

[slayer_s2001]

Soo whenever I go from being a train wreak into complete sobriety my whole life changes. The days tend to drag. I really had my heart on going to my A.A. meeting Sunday. But unfourtantley the weather called for freezening rain. Dana asked if we could just go next week which I agreed too. It defiantly upset me that I couldnt go. I actually wanted to cry a little bit. My heart is calling to be free of this problem. The problem with drinking is one day part of you will say how you never want to drink again and want to quit. At this time I truelly feel this way. But give it a few weeks and the addict part in me starts to come out. Its crazy how my mind can do a total 180 and convince myself reasons why I should drink. Its scary because at these points I truelly can't trust myself. Its something I have to keep working on. Not giving into temptations. I don't know why but I am terrified to go to A.A. So the fact that I was ready to go and accept help meant alot to me. The path I am headed on needs to be changed while I still have control. I know the longer I let alochol into my life the harder its going to be for me to let it go.

On a completely other note I am so excited to move to Denver. I have a little count down going in my planner. THe most exciting part of my day is checking another day off and being one day closer to my new home. I may loose my job soon which is defiantly going to suck. But I have to admit I kinda want unemployment so that makes me excited. Life hear is just so damn boring. Not Drinking defiantly adds to my boredom. RIght now I am just going to put all this extra energy into working out and dieting