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[slavecorp]

friday morning. i just got back from northern ohio. let me explain the situation:

my mom brought up going to see relatives wednesday. i told her that i'd rather not. i don't feel comfortable around my relatives anymore. i feel like i'm constantly being judged. anywho. i find out that my mom called my uncle and told that i was planning on going [i'

Comments

[plasticentity]

How could you say that i dont know what it feels like to be lied to, you know all to well what i went through and i know what you went through. i cant even fucking understand that you will not believe me, here i sit offering you a relationship and pouring my heart out to you who i do very much care about. and you will not even believe much less listen to what im saying to you. i know that if i said im sorry for lieing to you that it might make things better, but then i would be lying straight to your face, for real this time. i dont care if you made out with theresa or told cara that you like her, but i do care that you cant even fathom the idea that you might be wrong about what you think of me, you cant even consider it can you? and i know what happened to you, and i know what it did to you, the same happened to me, and i know that the thing that you hate more than anything in this world is lying, well you know what i hate more than anything? mistrust, i cant understand that you dont trust me. Here i am dean, go ahead take me if you want, i know that i could make you happy, but if you cant even trust me, then fuck you! trust means that you put you faith in someone and take a chance, go ahead dean, try me, lets see if for once in your life you can move on from what happened, take a chance, stop being scared, and fucking trust me, i pour my heart to you, take it.

[slavecorp]

i constantly do this with people. i give them another chance. and my morals, ideals, and wmotions get trampled over again. but i told you that i can't be the vindictive bastard everyone else is. i can't wear a tough outer shell. yes, i am very hurt by you and her. but i'm not the kind of person to completely shut you out. i'll still hang out with you guys. but like i said. i need time for myself. i need to think about what i believe in. i need to think about whats been going on all around me.

[celluloid_tears]

... I don't really know how to respond to what you said to that, i don't know if i should, but I do know that a comment on livejournal is not how i want to say this... I suppose for now though, it will have to work.

Sometimes in life, people do things that hurt our feelings, or make us angry, i don't know exactly how you feel, how could i?, they're your emotions not mine, but i do know what it is like to be lied to. I also know that it isn't fun, and that it hurts feelings. Nothing about what I did was meant to hurt you. That was actually the last thing that I had wanted to happen. I am sure that nothing i will say in here will make much of a difference in how you feel about it all, but at least I am speaking what is on my mind. In case you couldn't tell, i like you, I really enjoy your company, and whenever i'm around you, i am just generally happy. The last thing i want is to have that feeling gone, only to be replaced by an awkward silence or something like that, and all because of some stupid mistake that I made. If you need time to yourself, i am more than willing to give that to you, and I won't bother you with me anymore after this if that is really what you want, but keep in mind that your feelings aren't the only ones that are at stake here. If you do decide to give me another chance, i will try my hardest to keep that trust, and not to break it. I admit i messed up, and i'm sorry, but i don't know how to make it better, or even if i can make it better... I just want to be able to talk to you again...

again, i apologize for doing this in a livejournal comment... but you're not online, i don't know your email, and myspace is pissing me off.

[celluloid_tears]

and by the by, sorry for putting all this on you while you're stressed about your mom... I hope you can figure everything out with that... good luck.