Hmm.
I don't actually know how I'm going to get through next week, considering how this week went by. I had to go to sleep at 12 am last night without completing the ticket design because I was literally falling asleep, and then I woke up at 6.30 to finish version 1 and then go to school.
Now I need to edit the shit out of the script, because as it is now, it's kind of long and draggy in places; today's meeting with Sergeant had moments of inspiration and enlightenment. There's a pervasive sense of fatigue; I just feel like leaning against someone and going to sleep for a long, long time <- this does not carry implications of a suicide pact y/y. I wish I'd fall sick next week, so I can skip normal school and options. Hmm. I wonder if I'll get into trouble for skipping options. As it is, I should probably have just skipped today's.
Guess what is the only subject I've cried - twice - over? It's not even about the failure, you know; Sergeant's discussion about the weaknesses of my script was actually enjoyable, because the moments where I got something insightful and realized new possible ways of achieving a certain effect and etc. were marked by a sudden exhilaration and the desire to go bring the idea into fruition instantly. History - was not like that. It was just, wtf, because that is pit bottom, my friends, and I don't even have the heart to read it again and see where I went wrong; quite obviously, nobody isn't going to take me step by step through my paper to tell me.
Despair is probably not the intended outcome of their examination system. Idek; I don't think anyone in History RA is going to get a 4.0 for history this year, and - what does that show? Let me show you the different layers of guilt -> firstly, guilt at having done so badly for history, a subject I really like; secondly, guilt at having been part of the general history RA class failure; thirdly, guilt at having been part of 415's fairly dismal scores, since we are supposed to be a humanities class.
I don't even know if I should take history in JC in this case; it's not that doing badly -> not taking it, it's just that - shattered confidence does not make for a good study buddy.
I'll get over it, eventually. My history GPA isn't ruined, but - I just don't know. Would I rather have gotten 17/25 + 18/25 than 13/25 + 22/25?
It'll - pass, it'll pass. It's just funny how I'm ending my last year in RGS screwing up what I've established in the past few years, even while I'm discovering unexpected paths. It's like MY MEMORIES OF RGS ARE DESTRUCTING EVEN BEFORE I ACTUALLY LEAVE <-melodrama.
I think I feel better now, in a, I-have-other-things-to-think-about-now-so-forget-this, way (:
Now I need to edit the shit out of the script, because as it is now, it's kind of long and draggy in places; today's meeting with Sergeant had moments of inspiration and enlightenment. There's a pervasive sense of fatigue; I just feel like leaning against someone and going to sleep for a long, long time <- this does not carry implications of a suicide pact y/y. I wish I'd fall sick next week, so I can skip normal school and options. Hmm. I wonder if I'll get into trouble for skipping options. As it is, I should probably have just skipped today's.
Guess what is the only subject I've cried - twice - over? It's not even about the failure, you know; Sergeant's discussion about the weaknesses of my script was actually enjoyable, because the moments where I got something insightful and realized new possible ways of achieving a certain effect and etc. were marked by a sudden exhilaration and the desire to go bring the idea into fruition instantly. History - was not like that. It was just, wtf, because that is pit bottom, my friends, and I don't even have the heart to read it again and see where I went wrong; quite obviously, nobody isn't going to take me step by step through my paper to tell me.
Despair is probably not the intended outcome of their examination system. Idek; I don't think anyone in History RA is going to get a 4.0 for history this year, and - what does that show? Let me show you the different layers of guilt -> firstly, guilt at having done so badly for history, a subject I really like; secondly, guilt at having been part of the general history RA class failure; thirdly, guilt at having been part of 415's fairly dismal scores, since we are supposed to be a humanities class.
I don't even know if I should take history in JC in this case; it's not that doing badly -> not taking it, it's just that - shattered confidence does not make for a good study buddy.
I'll get over it, eventually. My history GPA isn't ruined, but - I just don't know. Would I rather have gotten 17/25 + 18/25 than 13/25 + 22/25?
It'll - pass, it'll pass. It's just funny how I'm ending my last year in RGS screwing up what I've established in the past few years, even while I'm discovering unexpected paths. It's like MY MEMORIES OF RGS ARE DESTRUCTING EVEN BEFORE I ACTUALLY LEAVE <-melodrama.
I think I feel better now, in a, I-have-other-things-to-think-about-now-so-forget-this, way (: