I sadly can relate...my family has never been much of a "touchy feely" type either, which was something I noticed as a child, since everyone I knew seemed to be close to their family. I wondered if I was just *that* bad of a kid that nobody wanted to love me or something (which really wasn't the case, but it felt like that sometimes). :@ P
Although my Mom and I are very close (we're more like friends than mother and daughter now...but I was a difficult child in my younger years). My Mom and I seem to be the only "normal" ones in the family, despite the fact we've had our share of Depression and health issues in our lives too. My Dad isn't much of a "help" when it comes to home life...he's married to his job and sports, basically. But that's how he's always been, and I figure it's because growing up his family was never really close either. (He was at odds with his own father pretty much until my grandpa died in 1997.)
But the worst in my family, is my Dad's sister/My Aunt (the one I work with)...she has to be the most FAKE person on Earth! And the thing is, I can see right through it, and she must not think anyone can...she never hesitates to insult anyone she might be jealous/intimidated by. (And here I go telling stories, but this is a vent for me in a way...not really anyone I can talk about it with.)
I've heard a lot of stories over the years where she would generate "gossip" about other people at work (including some of us relatives), because she had no friends and nothing better to do with her life, I guess. I didn't realize just how true this 'alleged behaviour' was until I started working with her myself! I have to stand up to her sometimes, she thinks she can rule the planet practically, and in fact, a lot of people have quit from here in the past because of her childish/schoolyard behaviour. Honestly, if I weren't related to her, I would not like her as a person, she's just got this plastic/clouded over aura about her! >_<
Nevermind the fact she'll be turning 60 next year...she most certainly doesn't act like it! And then she tries to be all fakey/smiley when we KNOW that's not what she really thinks, since I've even seen her in action...where she's all "nice" to someone, and as soon as they walk away, she'll mutter something negative about them...all "whispery & secret" like. It makes me sick. I've had days where I wanted to tell her to just go to Hell, but I have to bite my tongue...because I know it will strain family relations. Although one day I did nearly quit because of her treating me like I had no business being there and I didn't know what I was doing (and that's ANOTHER story altogether). But it does hurt, because you know these people, who are related to you, are going behind your back and belittling you, thinking you'll never know about it. :@ (
I can't imagine what it would be like to have a parent be that way, I would think it would hurt more though. :@ ( But don't you worry, none of us here are going to let that get you down too much. I know how hard it is to endure the torment of Depression, and you feel like maybe it is just you, not them, but if you can work through that with a psychologist or counselor, that will help a LOT. I had to do that after my huge Depression episode in my final year of school, and I ended up going for a couple years, addressing issues I had no idea bothered me so much...and being able to talk it out was the best thing I could have done.
Hi, and thanks for reading the crap ;). I greatly appreciate it! Sigh, I always thought this was a Chinese family cultural thingy O~O, but I guess not! When I was growing up, it was 'normal' for Mom or Dad to be fakey kind to strangers or friends, but not to us. Mom always said that if Dad is angry or harsh with us, it's because he loved us ;P enough to care and argue about it. Now, I sometimes I feel like I'm not family anymore ;_; with all this fakeness! Sometimes, my sister and I are okay with this, considering how much we bickered with our parents as kids, but sometimes, we feel something is wrong.
You have a FAKE Aunt too?! Me too ;b! She's my Mom's younger sister, and she always likes to brag about herself while belittling others, including her own family. I HATE HER and am ashamed I share some genes with her XP! She has hurt me on more than one occasion >8( with whispers loud enough for me to hear from afar!
Yeah, I was thinking of making another appointment with my therapist or psychologist soon instead of waiting until October for my check-up --;! I just saw him 2 weeks ago too, and everything seemed fine at the time, ugh!
I sadly can relate...my family has never been much of a "touchy feely" type either, which was something I noticed as a child, since everyone I knew seemed to be close to their family. I wondered if I was just *that* bad of a kid that nobody wanted to love me or something (which really wasn't the case, but it felt like that sometimes). :@ P
Although my Mom and I are very close (we're more like friends than mother and daughter now...but I was a difficult child in my younger years). My Mom and I seem to be the only "normal" ones in the family, despite the fact we've had our share of Depression and health issues in our lives too. My Dad isn't much of a "help" when it comes to home life...he's married to his job and sports, basically. But that's how he's always been, and I figure it's because growing up his family was never really close either. (He was at odds with his own father pretty much until my grandpa died in 1997.)
But the worst in my family, is my Dad's sister/My Aunt (the one I work with)...she has to be the most FAKE person on Earth! And the thing is, I can see right through it, and she must not think anyone can...she never hesitates to insult anyone she might be jealous/intimidated by. (And here I go telling stories, but this is a vent for me in a way...not really anyone I can talk about it with.)
I've heard a lot of stories over the years where she would generate "gossip" about other people at work (including some of us relatives), because she had no friends and nothing better to do with her life, I guess. I didn't realize just how true this 'alleged behaviour' was until I started working with her myself! I have to stand up to her sometimes, she thinks she can rule the planet practically, and in fact, a lot of people have quit from here in the past because of her childish/schoolyard behaviour. Honestly, if I weren't related to her, I would not like her as a person, she's just got this plastic/clouded over aura about her! >_<
Nevermind the fact she'll be turning 60 next year...she most certainly doesn't act like it! And then she tries to be all fakey/smiley when we KNOW that's not what she really thinks, since I've even seen her in action...where she's all "nice" to someone, and as soon as they walk away, she'll mutter something negative about them...all "whispery & secret" like. It makes me sick. I've had days where I wanted to tell her to just go to Hell, but I have to bite my tongue...because I know it will strain family relations. Although one day I did nearly quit because of her treating me like I had no business being there and I didn't know what I was doing (and that's ANOTHER story altogether). But it does hurt, because you know these people, who are related to you, are going behind your back and belittling you, thinking you'll never know about it. :@ (
I can't imagine what it would be like to have a parent be that way, I would think it would hurt more though. :@ ( But don't you worry, none of us here are going to let that get you down too much. I know how hard it is to endure the torment of Depression, and you feel like maybe it is just you, not them, but if you can work through that with a psychologist or counselor, that will help a LOT. I had to do that after my huge Depression episode in my final year of school, and I ended up going for a couple years, addressing issues I had no idea bothered me so much...and being able to talk it out was the best thing I could have done.
Hang in there, Sonia! We are here for you! *HUGS*
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Hi, and thanks for reading the crap ;). I greatly appreciate it! Sigh, I always thought this was a Chinese family cultural thingy O~O, but I guess not! When I was growing up, it was 'normal' for Mom or Dad to be fakey kind to strangers or friends, but not to us. Mom always said that if Dad is angry or harsh with us, it's because he loved us ;P enough to care and argue about it. Now, I sometimes I feel like I'm not family anymore ;_; with all this fakeness! Sometimes, my sister and I are okay with this, considering how much we bickered with our parents as kids, but sometimes, we feel something is wrong.
You have a FAKE Aunt too?! Me too ;b! She's my Mom's younger sister, and she always likes to brag about herself while belittling others, including her own family. I HATE HER and am ashamed I share some genes with her XP! She has hurt me on more than one occasion >8( with whispers loud enough for me to hear from afar!
Yeah, I was thinking of making another appointment with my therapist or psychologist soon instead of waiting until October for my check-up --;! I just saw him 2 weeks ago too, and everything seemed fine at the time, ugh!
Thanks again for the hug and insight!
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