Self-exile for tonight --;!
Ugh, I'm still feeling a bit out. I haven't gone to work for 2 days since Tuesday's little flight in the night. Dad lost his patience with me and my moping as well, which is good and bad. It's good because it's not natural for Dad to act this way ;b, and bad since you really can't talk to Dad when he's his old normal self O~O! Tonight though, I just snapped X( at the sound of Mom's sarcastic comments about my moping. I was literally reduced to a shambling pile ;_; which made Dad snap as well. In desperation, I called my sister to pick me up since I don't think I could have driven in my condition. Moreover, if I even tried leaving, Mom and Dad would restrain me, as they have before when I've wanted to run away --;! I'm quite the weakling up against Mom and Dad's combined muscle. Since I would be at my sister's though, they let weeping me leave with her. I left with just a coat, my shoes, and my pajamas.
As soon as we were alone in the car, I calmed down a bit just talking with my sister/The Kid. She knew all too well about our parents too ;P! I think we talked for about an hour or so with both of us tearing up when mentioning a few touchy points which either one of us has experienced. I felt a LOT better than I have in the last few days though trying to wait for things to work out on their own at home. After consulting the Kid, I do plan on returning home tomorrow and just doing what makes me happy. I admit it's difficult for me NOT to take to heart anything anyone says about me, especially when it comes from someone close, which is why I'm depressed and paranoid sometimes --;. Both Dad and Mom have a knack for making one feel guilty and ashamed (Damn the Chinese face thing!) whether they deserve it or not.
Sigh, stuff like this usually blows over, but things are never settled. My parents never give us the pleasure of closure, unfortunately, but they do, eventually, accept whatever 'radical' idea we have (i.e. Radical ideas like me just getting a M.S., my sister having a boyfriend, etc.. Yes, our parents are that old-fashioned!). That takes a LONG time though (months/years/whatever).
Right now, I'm on my sister's computer at her place. I also had the chance to eat, which I haven't done in the last few days except for those candy bars last night Xb! My stomach is now happy with 2 slices of veggie pizza and 2 mini-chocolate rolls.
*Yawn,* I should go to bed. I have a LOT of stuff to do tomorrow which I haven't been able to do during the last 2 days including the post office, checking on legal issues Xb, going to the stores, etc..
Thanks for the personal huggles, THE Jill/jillthepill and Kevin/taer_silveroak! I tried giving more virtual huggles back! Check your counters ;)!
As soon as we were alone in the car, I calmed down a bit just talking with my sister/The Kid. She knew all too well about our parents too ;P! I think we talked for about an hour or so with both of us tearing up when mentioning a few touchy points which either one of us has experienced. I felt a LOT better than I have in the last few days though trying to wait for things to work out on their own at home. After consulting the Kid, I do plan on returning home tomorrow and just doing what makes me happy. I admit it's difficult for me NOT to take to heart anything anyone says about me, especially when it comes from someone close, which is why I'm depressed and paranoid sometimes --;. Both Dad and Mom have a knack for making one feel guilty and ashamed (Damn the Chinese face thing!) whether they deserve it or not.
Sigh, stuff like this usually blows over, but things are never settled. My parents never give us the pleasure of closure, unfortunately, but they do, eventually, accept whatever 'radical' idea we have (i.e. Radical ideas like me just getting a M.S., my sister having a boyfriend, etc.. Yes, our parents are that old-fashioned!). That takes a LONG time though (months/years/whatever).
Right now, I'm on my sister's computer at her place. I also had the chance to eat, which I haven't done in the last few days except for those candy bars last night Xb! My stomach is now happy with 2 slices of veggie pizza and 2 mini-chocolate rolls.
*Yawn,* I should go to bed. I have a LOT of stuff to do tomorrow which I haven't been able to do during the last 2 days including the post office, checking on legal issues Xb, going to the stores, etc..
Thanks for the personal huggles, THE Jill/jillthepill and Kevin/taer_silveroak! I tried giving more virtual huggles back! Check your counters ;)!