Early morning Ramblings

[sladen]

So, I just finished watching all of Onegai Teacher, haven't watched the series since back in April... I cried a lot while watching it, silently of course as to not wake my room mates, but tears did indeed flow. This series just drudges up so many memories that were the happiest time in my life, reminded me of how I once felt for Quest... how painful it's been without someone to share my happiness, sadness, and life with. I feel better for it though, all that crying, just letting all the stagnent pain, hatred, and sorrow, just letting it flow out, feels really good, while at the same time it's like opening a deep wound, so while it felt good, it hurt... a lot... but maybe it's just what I need to finally banish the dreams that have been haunting my nights since July when my shield of hatred finally failed to protect me from the pain of loss.

Yeah I know it's been 8 months since being dumped, but it hurt me to my core, it hurt the very essence of my being, and I'm certain it won't be the last time I feel that kind of pain, but I can say in all honesty, it was the first time I've ever been emotinally wounded to such a level where I had even considered ending my own life to escape the pain, and I gave such thoughts serious consideration during the first few weeks, I'm thankful to Patrick and Michelle for letting me stay with them during that horrid time, as well as Matthew, Amber, Rob, and John for letting me stay with them during the weekends when Pat and Michelle worked.

I think that's really all I want to say... thanks for taking the time to read.

-=Erin Francois Lucien Parent=-