Is this considered settling?
I think forward to three to five years from now, and wonder what will happen if I get pregnant. I picture doing things together like picking out baby furniture, clothes, and toys. Reading together on how to raise the baby, safely. Researching all the things there is to know about raising a child and talking about those things together. I want my husband to be happy that we're pregnant, to rejoice over the news and lean down and kiss my stomach. I want him to talk to my stomach, read to it and maybe even sing to it. I want to feel like this child is just as important to him as it is to me. I want him to make me feel beautiful while I'm carrying his child, and to know that having a healthy child alone would be enough to make him happy. I don't want to have to worry that I'll be the only one taking care of the child, that regardless of the situation I won't be the only one getting up during the wee hours to check on the baby and the only one to change, feed and all of that stuff. The whole point of being in a relationship to me is in a sense equality. To do things together, spend time together and just genuinely enjoy each other's company.
I watch these movies and the guys just always seem to know what to say to make a girl's heart melt, and while people say that's a movie, it's not real life, it does happen in real life. Is it settling for me to be with someone that doesn't dote on me with cute comments and heart felt gifts? Am I expecting too much? When are you supposed to know whether or not you're supposed to get up and walk away or stick it out? I'm trying to be realistic here, I don't want to just give up if there's no reason to. Am I truly happy, is he truly happy? I don't want to keep getting in deeper if this constant feeling in the back of my mind is how I really feel. I don't know what to think anymore, do I question our relationship because it's my first real relationship since high school? Is it normal to argue this much? I know that I have issues expressing my feelings, but is that the root of the problem, or is there much more to it? I feel like sometimes it would be good to just end things on a high note, pick a time that we're getting along really well, sit him down and have a conversation with him about all my doubts and see where it goes. Maybe I don't look at his good qualities enough, maybe that's because I am a pessimist. Maybe I should start keeping track of all the things that I love about him, instead of all the things I hate, and trying to understand where he's coming from when he feels that he's doing things for me or going out of his way for me.
Well, i' m tired, it's after midnight and i should have been asaleep along time ago... so i will definitely continue this train of thought in the coming weeks/ months...
I watch these movies and the guys just always seem to know what to say to make a girl's heart melt, and while people say that's a movie, it's not real life, it does happen in real life. Is it settling for me to be with someone that doesn't dote on me with cute comments and heart felt gifts? Am I expecting too much? When are you supposed to know whether or not you're supposed to get up and walk away or stick it out? I'm trying to be realistic here, I don't want to just give up if there's no reason to. Am I truly happy, is he truly happy? I don't want to keep getting in deeper if this constant feeling in the back of my mind is how I really feel. I don't know what to think anymore, do I question our relationship because it's my first real relationship since high school? Is it normal to argue this much? I know that I have issues expressing my feelings, but is that the root of the problem, or is there much more to it? I feel like sometimes it would be good to just end things on a high note, pick a time that we're getting along really well, sit him down and have a conversation with him about all my doubts and see where it goes. Maybe I don't look at his good qualities enough, maybe that's because I am a pessimist. Maybe I should start keeping track of all the things that I love about him, instead of all the things I hate, and trying to understand where he's coming from when he feels that he's doing things for me or going out of his way for me.
Well, i' m tired, it's after midnight and i should have been asaleep along time ago... so i will definitely continue this train of thought in the coming weeks/ months...