Fighting Off Hesitation (One-shot)
Title: Fighting Off Hesitation
Author: skytears9
Fandom: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Romance, Drama, and Fluff.
Pairings: Hikato (Hikaru x Keito), hints of Chiitaro (Chinen x Ryutaro) and Yamajima (Yamada x Yuto)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 3247
Summary: Keito was always the silent type of guy who was hesitant to express his feelings. But when Hikaru starts giving him the cold shoulder, will he be able to get over it?
Notes: OMG. It’s my second one-shot! I know I’m supposed to finish my Hikanoo series and I feel sad for having such a gap between the last chapter and now, but exams came like a hurricane and completely took over my life for the followings weeks. And then the holidays happened and I went to Canada… But the good news is that I’m back to fic writing and the idea for this fic popped into my head the other day. I found it fun to think about so I started typing it on my way from Canada. For once, I don’t feel like I rushed it! ^^ But then again, I do think I made them seem too dramatic o.O Sorry if they seem out of character, but I just couldn’t help myself. XD
Don’t forget that comments are love~ ♥
Keito Okamoto was having a really bad day.
Ever since yesterday, he had a gut feeling that today wouldn't turn out in his favor. He even knew it was bad the moment he woke up late. Not to mention he almost missed the train to work and accidentially stumbled into Chinen, making the poor boy fall hard onto the dance floor. The smallest Hey! Say! JUMP member was fine, but he did get teary and needed a hug from Ryutaro to feel all better.
But the worst part of it all?
The fact that his boyfriend hadn't said more than five words to him all day. With the longest sentence being, "Keito, you are over here,” during practice and he was showing him his spot.
It worried Keito because his boyfriend, Hikaru Yaotome was normally a chatterbox and would take every chance he could get to talk the younger boy's ear off. He began to feel empty during rehearsal without Hikaru's small, gentle kiss and hugs sneaked in between dance moves. He didn't know he could even be jealous until he saw the way Hikaru kept sharing his water bottle with Inoo.
But as worried and hurt Keito felt, he wasn't exactly the headstrong type to confront his boyfriend. No, Keito was the silent type of guy who hesitant to show his feelings. When he was angry, he never let it show on his face and when confronted with a problem, he always thought about his options before taking any action.
Although sometimes, he wished he could easily show his feelings. He only dreamed of pouting like Ryutaro and throwing a cute tantrum until Hikaru talked to him.
It certainly would've worked better than his silence and lame attempts. Like earlier during their break, when Hikaru went out of his way to avoid the younger boy. Even though Hikaru's dancing position was in front of Keito, he deliberately chose a spot across the room to take his break.
Or when Keito took the wrong step during the dance and tried to ask Hikaru to show him the correct way. The older boy simply motioned to the nearest Hey! Say! 7 member and said, "Yuto-kun will show you," and walked away.
After such incidents and the tense atmosphere between Hikaru and Keito, it was obvious to the rest of the group that there was silent fight going on. The members' eyes were all on the two as Keito tried to talk to Hikaru again, only to fail once more.
Not that they never fought before, but their fights usually lasted an hour and it was Keito who was either mad or embarrassed by Hikaru's open loving. This fight was different though, because it was the first time Hikaru was angry at him. It made Keito feel guilty knowing the reason for the cold shoulder he was receiving.
[~Flashback~]
It all started yesterday when Keito was getting ready to leave school. There was an eager bounce in his step because he had a dinner date with Hikaru before the older boy's concert meeting. Even though he knew their date would be cut short, he was still excited to spend time with his boyfriend. He had just zipped up his school bad when a female classmate of his stopped him. The classmate turned out to be Mariko Yamoto, a girl who sat a row behind him. She was cute and easy to talk to, but Keito had never felt anything more than friendship towards her.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" Keito asked when they were finally alone in the classroom. She had asked him to stay behind so they could talk in private. He leaned on his desk while she stood a few feet away from him.
Mariko seemed to be nervous as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other, trying to find the right words to say. "Well, I.. Uh," she started, bu tthen stopped for a moment to look look down at the ground. "I just.. um, w-wanted to know if you had a, er, gir-girlfriend?" Her eyes were full of hope as she looked up at him.
Keito thought about the question for a minute before answering, "Um, no, not really. Why do you ask?"
He should have known what he was getting into when he said that, but he never really had much experience in the love catergory. Sure, he was currently in a relation ship with his fellow bandmate, but Keito felt that he was always learning from Hikaru. All he knew was that he was easily mesmerized by Hikaru's goofy grin and couldn't help, but blush like a tomato around him. He would never admit it out loud, but he actually loved the way Hikaru would glomp him at randrom times. It made the boy feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Besides, the older boy was Keito's boyfriend, so technically he didn't have a girlfriend.
His answer seemed to make her happy, because a smile broke out on her face. "Really? Ah, yokatta!" Mariko squealed and then swiftly bowed her head to him. "Because I really like you, Keito-kun! Please go out with me!"
Her confession hung in the air as Ketio stood there, adding to the silence between them. For many moments, Keito was shocked with bewilderment written in his eyes. He had never received a confession from a girl before, which explained his current reaction.
How was he supposed to react anyway, let alone turn her down? He wanted to be honest, but didn’t want to hurt her feelings. He wanted to say that he had someone special, but couldn’t say that it was Hikaru. For the next few minutes, so many wants and different options swam inside his head that he hoped what he waws about to say weren’t the wrong words.
“Look, Mariko-chan, you’re a really nice girl and I’m flattered that you like me,” Keito started as she brought her head up to look at him. “And I do like you-”
Suddenly, the sound of a door slamming loudly broke Keito’s sentence and caught the two’s attention. They turned to the door at the front of the class to see a figure’s shadow hastily leaving. Puzzled, Mariko and Keito both ran to the door and opened it, only to catch a glimpse of a boy’s back, running down the hall. The back looked somewhat familiar to Keito, but it wasn’t until the mysterious boy turned at the corner of the hall did Keito recognized who it was.
“Oh, no,” Keito lamented, quickly realizing what had made Hikaru flee from the scene.
Usually on the school days that they had a date, Hikaru would pick up Keito from his school. But since he was running late, Hikaru got worried and went to Keito’s classroom, in hopes of surprising him. However, the scene that greeted him upon his arrival was something that broke his heart.
Of course, Hikaru would be waiting for me, Keito thought glumly and looked at his watch, shocked at the numbers staring back at him. I’m late for our date and he came to my classroom to look for me. From his perspective, it must have looked like we were confessing to each other.
“I’m sorry, but I have to go,” Keito vaguely explained before taking his bag and running out of the room.
“Wait, Keito!” Mariko called out, but her words fell on deaf ears as Keito followed after Hikaru.
His legs ran fast beneath him, the need to reach Hikaru giving him more than enough motivation. Just as he was exiting the school’s entrance, he caught sight of Hikaru heading towards the train station. Hikaru was fast with his long, lean legs and known for exercising daily, so it was hard for Keito to keep up with Hikaru’s speed.
However, catching up wasn’t enough, because when he got to the train station, he lost track of the older boy in the ongoing crowd. He was out of breath as he frantically searched the crowd for his boyfriend.
“No, Hikaru,” Keito breathed out. He walked around the station, looking for the familiar face he loved amongst the crowd of plain faces, but to no avail. After looking for another half hour, Keito went home with a heavy heart.
Once at home, Keito tried calling Hikaru many times, but the older boy had turned off his phone. The English boy assumed it was due to the concert meeting, because his heart knowing that he might have hurt him.
[~End of Flashback~]
“Hey, Keito. Something wrong?” Yuto’s concerned voice broke through Keito’s train of memory. Since practice was almost ending, the boys were given some time to finish getting the moves right. But Keito wasn’t really in the mood to dance.
He looked up from his seat on the floor to see the taller boy standing over him with his usual bright smile. “Oh, hey, Yuto. Um, it’s nothing,” Keito replied, taking a swig of his bottle water.
His reply didn’t faze Yuto as he took a seat next to Keito, crossing his long legs beneath him. Yuto gave him another smile before putting a hand on his fellow HS7 member’s shoulder.
“Come on, Keito. I can see that Hikaru’s been avoiding you all day and you look like you’re going to cry. Did something happen between you two?” Yuto asked, anxiety written in his eyes. Despite Yuto’s constant silly antics and corny jokes, he still had a mature and wise side to him. Keito usually went to him for relationship advice, because he admired the perfect relationship between Yuto and Yamada.
Keito sighed, knowing that he couldn’t keep a secret from the leader of HS7. He told Yuto about had happened the day before with a sad expression on his face. “..And now, Hikaru’s giving me the cold shoulder and I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried everything! I even texted him a at the start of practice saying that I was sorry, but it looks like he forgot his phone. I just hope it wasn’t on purpose,” Keito heartbreakingly finished. His eyes took a quick glance at Hikaru, but felt a stab of jealousy seeing him laugh at something Inoo said.
Yuto looked at the English boy, taking in his miserable mood and then to the comedian of Hey! Say! JUMP. “Hmm.. So, how does that make you feel?” Yuto asked, sounding much like a psychiatrist.
The other boy was caught off guard with the question and he arched his eyebrow in confusion. But now Keito thought about it, he took in consideration of his own feelings and confessed, “Well, I do feel really hurt that Hikaru would even think I would cheat on him, let alone confess to a girl. I’m also pretty angry that he’s so caught up in assumption that he hasn’t even tried to talk to me about it. Besides, he should know by now that I love him and our relationship means everything to me, right?” Keito felt a small tear falling down his face as he looked at Yuto. He now felt like he was one of those female characters from chick flicks who would rant about their boyfriends to their best friends over a pint of ice cream.
The leader of HS7 smiled reassuringly and patted his back. “Then why don’t you just tell him?” Yuto stated as if it was a casual thing.
“Wait, what?”
“Keito, you feel hurt, right? And sad? Well, then you should just let Hikaru know how you feel. Instead of saying sorry countless times and taking all of the blame, go right up to him and set things straight,” Yuto said in an encouraging tone of voice. “I know this is going to sound cheesy, but in a relationship, communication is the key to staying together. If the other person doesn’t know how you feel, they can’t read your mind and in the end, it only hurts both of you more.”
Keito was amazed by Yuto’s advice, understanding now why he and Yamada had been together for so long. “But the thing is, I’m not good at expressing the way I feel,” Keito confessed once more.
Yuto was about to reply when their choreographer called everyone’s attention by clapping his hands. “Ok, everyone, that was a great rehearsal! Tomorrow, we’ll be starting at around one in the afternoon, so don’t be late. Good work!” He bowed to them before walking out of the dance room.
The two HS7 members looked around them and saw that the rest of the band was getting ready to leave as well. Most were walking towards the showers while Yamada looked over to Yuto and Keito. He motioned towards Yuto, who nodded in answer and turned back to Keito, but saw that the English boy had his eyes only on a former Ya-ya-yah member. Unfortunately, Hikaru didn’t acknowledge Keito’s glance and simply gathered his things.
Yuto could see the desperate state of mind his fellow group mate was in, but knew that was no other way to end their fight. Despite Keito’s way of silently taking things, he needed to get over his hesitation to express feelings in order to make his and Hikaru’s relationship right.
“Look, Keito, I know it’s hard for you to express your feelings and you’re scared to get the cold shoulder from Hikaru again,” Yuto stated, getting the English boy’s attention with his far-away look, “but being honest and explaining to Hikaru exactly how you feel won’t hurt as much as you thought. Believe me, I know.” A small giggle passed his lips as he stood up. “So, don’t give up, k? Later.” Yuto gave Keito one last smile before walking away to catch up with Yamada.
With sad eyes, Keito watched the tallest HS7 member walk away with his boyfriend. It’s true, Keito thought, there’s no harm in explaining to Hikaru. On instinct, he began to think of ways to approach the situation, but then heard Hikaru’s voice.
Keito’s breath caught in his throat as he saw that Hikaru was getting ready to leave.
“Good job, everyone! See you all tomorrow!” Hikaru called, holding his bag over his right shoulder and giving a quick bow. He seemed to be the first to leave as Keito saw that everyone was still changing their clothes. The older boy avoided Keito’s eyes as he turned around to exit the dance room.
It wasn’t until a few minutes after he left, did the hurt in Keito’s heart finally made him crack.
Screw thinking, I’m winging this, Keito thought.
There was no well-thought out plan or analyzed option in his mind as he abruptly stood up and ran out of the room. He ignored the calls from the rest of HSJ as he weaved in and out of people in the hallway; one person’s departing back being his only target. Keito felt his feelings giving him more of an adrenaline rush as he got closer to Hikaru, his arm extending to make their distance shorter.
But just when he was a few feet from Hikaru, Keito forgot that there was an elevator at the end of the hallway. His breath got caught in his throat once more as he saw the older boy enter the elevator.
“Hold the elevator!” Keito shouted as he urged his legs to run faster. But closing doors made him skid to a stop right in front of the elevator, staring straight into the eyes he loved.
Hikaru gasped at the sight of the younger boy and quickly pressed the ‘Open Doors’ button. The doors opened and the two shared a look before Keito stumbled into the elevator. He couldn’t help himself as he threw his arms around Hikaru and began to sob on the older boy’s shoulder.
Keito also couldn’t care less who was watching them as he let his feelings take over and cried, “Hikaru, why have you been avoiding me? Why won’t you even glance towards my way? Was it because of yesterday? Because nothing is going on between me and Mariko-chan. Nothing! She was just confessing to me and I was about to turn her down when you left.” He took a deep breath, feeling Hikaru’s arms wrap around his waist.
“But Keito-” Hikaru started, but was caught off when Keito loosened his arms and looked at him with tears running freely down his cheeks.
“No, buts! Look, I’m sorry if you got the wrong idea, but how could you even think I would cheat on you? Do you really think I would forget, for even a moment, how much you mean to me? I feel so hurt knowing that you would think this way of me!” Keito felt Hikaru cup tenderly cup his face and the tears being wiped away, but he wasn’t done. “Hikaru, I know I’m inexperienced when it comes to love and relationships, but please don’t doubt that I love you, because that’s the one thing I’m more than sure of.”
By then, Hikaru was also in tears and gently pulled his English boy close to him. He bit his lip and felt so guilty for his actions. “I’m sorry, Keito,” Hikaru croaked as he ran his hands through Keito’s fluffy hair. “I didn’t mean to be such a jerk. It’s just that I love you so much I was hurt by the idea of you being love with someone else.” He broke their hug to look into Keito’s eyes and give a small smile, “I’m really sorry, ok? Can you ever forgive me?”
As Keito gave a nod, he felt a huge weight off of his heart and instead filled with sweet emotions. “Yeah, of course, you’re forgiven.” He smiled widely before giving Hikaru a sweet peck on the cheek.
Hikaru smiled back his signature goofy grin and intertwined their fingers together to kiss Keito’s hand. “I love you, Keito.”
“I love you, too, Hika-chan.” A blush spread onto Keito’s cheeks, realizing now what he had just done.
The two stayed in each others’ arms for a few moments, relishing in the warm feelings between them until Hikaru spoke up.
“Ne, Keito? Since I’m forgiven, can I ask something?” It was a good thing they were hugging, because Keito wasn’t able to see the mischievous twinkle in Hikaru’s eyes.
“Hm? What is it?”
“Can I sleep over tonight?”
The blush on Keito’s cheeks grew deeper as he looked at Hikaru with a shy expression. “Well, um, I.. uh,.. sure?” his voice cracked at the last word, which only made Hikaru laugh.
“Aww, you’re so cute!” Hikaru gushed, stealing a quick kiss from him before they exited the elevator. He squeezed Keito’s hand and exclaimed, “Let’s go!” As they made their way to the train station, Hikaru jokingly asked, “So, we’re taking a shower together once we get home, right?”
The question simply made Keito’s face turn into a bright tomato. Hikaru laughed and pulled the younger boy along, who seemed to be in a blushing daze. Oh, boy, what did he get himself into?
But then again, as they sat together on the train and talked, Keito couldn’t help, but feel very happy. He laughed as Hikaru made a funny face imitating someone on the train. Even though the funny face looked weird, Keito knew that it only made him love his boyfriend even more.
Somehow, his very bad day didn’t seem so bad anymore.