(no subject)
So I had training for two days, which is almost like a vacation, you just sit there and absorb stuff. Back to the grind. My trucks alternater and battery were dead, but it looks like my driver side door is breaking off. I dont even mean that the door is falling off the hinges, but the actual hinges are actually breaking off of the frame. I can just image being somewhere, closing my door, and it just falling to the ground, a few wires the only connection left between the body and its limb. Guess I better bring some bailing wire and some duct tape, just in case. Ahh well. I have been thinking more about what I want to use, and portray in order to define myself. I was at my apartment putting on after shave when I thought about where it had come from. It had been chosen by my ex-girlfriend, and I wondered, "is this after-shave really something that I want to wear?" I am still unsure to the answer to that one, but I am at least becoming more aware of how my appearance and what I want to look like portrays my personality. I would prefer that our personality was defined by interraction alone, but unfortunately, looks mean a lot. It becomes a point of chose to portray something through looks, or choose your portrayal to be defined for you.
So I wear black, I think it looks good on me.
I like cloth that feels good, and I especially like exotic fabrics, apparently.
I also like contradicting myself by wearing really bright obvious clothes, I have the only tie-die silk shirt that I have ever heard of.
So what does this all mean? I could say that I like looking nice but comfortable, but I also don't like people to assume things about me just cause I dress that way, I may dress this way today, but tomorrow I may be exactly opposite, in an extreme way. And I do tend to live with extremes, well, extremes as I see them at least. Dunno....
My ex was at my training, which leads me to speculate even more on what the hell it is that I want out of life, relationships, and everything. I once took a personality and relationship test that defined what kind of person I was, what kind of person I was looking for, and what kind of person I SHOULD be looking for....
I'm kinda weirded out that a computer program can do this better than I can personally, so I am going to try to define it myself....
Kind of person I am:
Positives:
I am reliable, dedicated, and passionate about my interests.
I am a kind person, intelligent, and I think, realistic
I am stable, curious, and find meaning in anything, and can find beauty in everything.
I love easily, and am fully involved at those times.
Negatives:
My emotions can lead me to be irrational at times.
I can become single minded in purpose enough to ignore everything else.
I can be lazy at times, and definitely a procrastinator
I see money as a means instead of an end, this could be good or bad, im still not sure
I love easily, and am fully involved at those times.
I can be easily sensitive at times, this wouldn't be so bad except that I become sensitive only after being being easy-going about things for a while.
negatives being things that I would change, sometimes.
That brings the question of who am I attracted to...
This gets trickier, but I tend to go for the shyer type, brunettes definitely, intelligent, kind and moral. Spiritual people in a philosophical sense, but not necessarily in a religious sense, though that wouldn't be all a bad thing. Willing to discuss stuff. Healthy, physically but not necessarily emotionally. Remember, this is attracted to, not should be attracted to. Educated, but not overly egotistical. Willing to be physically intimate, not ashamed of their body, cuddly. Independant enough to go on a business trip by themselves, but dependent enough to miss me after a day or so.
I guess I will continue this on another day since my job is requiring my attention, stupid job. :(
So I wear black, I think it looks good on me.
I like cloth that feels good, and I especially like exotic fabrics, apparently.
I also like contradicting myself by wearing really bright obvious clothes, I have the only tie-die silk shirt that I have ever heard of.
So what does this all mean? I could say that I like looking nice but comfortable, but I also don't like people to assume things about me just cause I dress that way, I may dress this way today, but tomorrow I may be exactly opposite, in an extreme way. And I do tend to live with extremes, well, extremes as I see them at least. Dunno....
My ex was at my training, which leads me to speculate even more on what the hell it is that I want out of life, relationships, and everything. I once took a personality and relationship test that defined what kind of person I was, what kind of person I was looking for, and what kind of person I SHOULD be looking for....
I'm kinda weirded out that a computer program can do this better than I can personally, so I am going to try to define it myself....
Kind of person I am:
Positives:
I am reliable, dedicated, and passionate about my interests.
I am a kind person, intelligent, and I think, realistic
I am stable, curious, and find meaning in anything, and can find beauty in everything.
I love easily, and am fully involved at those times.
Negatives:
My emotions can lead me to be irrational at times.
I can become single minded in purpose enough to ignore everything else.
I can be lazy at times, and definitely a procrastinator
I see money as a means instead of an end, this could be good or bad, im still not sure
I love easily, and am fully involved at those times.
I can be easily sensitive at times, this wouldn't be so bad except that I become sensitive only after being being easy-going about things for a while.
negatives being things that I would change, sometimes.
That brings the question of who am I attracted to...
This gets trickier, but I tend to go for the shyer type, brunettes definitely, intelligent, kind and moral. Spiritual people in a philosophical sense, but not necessarily in a religious sense, though that wouldn't be all a bad thing. Willing to discuss stuff. Healthy, physically but not necessarily emotionally. Remember, this is attracted to, not should be attracted to. Educated, but not overly egotistical. Willing to be physically intimate, not ashamed of their body, cuddly. Independant enough to go on a business trip by themselves, but dependent enough to miss me after a day or so.
I guess I will continue this on another day since my job is requiring my attention, stupid job. :(