This is so me...
NEW VIRUS WARNING
There is a new virus. The code name is "Work".
If you receive Work from your colleagues, your boss, via e-mail or from anyone else, do not touch it under any circumstances. This virus wipes out your private life completely.
If you should happen to come in contact with this virus, take two friends and go straight to the nearest bar.
Order drinks immediately and after three rounds, you will find that Work has been completely deleted from your brain.
Forward this virus warning immediately to at least five friends.
Should you realize you do not have five friends, this means you are already infected by this virus and Work already controls your life.
If this is the case, go to the bar and stay until you make at least five friends. Then retry.
I think I have friends, but am not entirely positive so I'm headed for the bar anyway. . . . it never hurts to be safe.
> Payback
>
> One evening last week, my wife & I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion
> starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just
> want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the
> words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not
in
> touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your
> physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying,
> "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the
> bedroom?"
> Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
> The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
> her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
> unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
> different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so
I
> told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her
> new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the
> jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell
> you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a
> shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a
> tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I
> threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost
> nearing satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited
> anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the
> cashier".
> I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
> like it."
> Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
> WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff
> for awhile.. You're just not enough in touch with my financial needs as a
> man for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
> And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added
"Why
> can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
> Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
>
************************************************************************
> > >Subject: Fw: Hunting for beaver (This is funny)
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better.
> > >
> > > > I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.
> > >
> > > > What do you think about that?"
> > >
> > > > The doctor considered his question for a minute and then
said,
> > >
> > > > "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a
> > >season.
> > >
> > > > One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry and
> > >
> > > > picked up his umbrella instead of his gun.
> > >
> > > > When he got to the creek, he saw a beaver sitting beside the
> > >stream.
> > >
> > > > He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the beaver
> fell dead.
> > >
> > > > "What do you think of that?"
> > >
> > > > The 90-year-old said, "Ha,I'd say somebody else shot that
> beaver."
> > >
> > > > The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
>
There is a new virus. The code name is "Work".
If you receive Work from your colleagues, your boss, via e-mail or from anyone else, do not touch it under any circumstances. This virus wipes out your private life completely.
If you should happen to come in contact with this virus, take two friends and go straight to the nearest bar.
Order drinks immediately and after three rounds, you will find that Work has been completely deleted from your brain.
Forward this virus warning immediately to at least five friends.
Should you realize you do not have five friends, this means you are already infected by this virus and Work already controls your life.
If this is the case, go to the bar and stay until you make at least five friends. Then retry.
I think I have friends, but am not entirely positive so I'm headed for the bar anyway. . . . it never hurts to be safe.
> Payback
>
> One evening last week, my wife & I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion
> starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just
> want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the
> words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not
in
> touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your
> physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying,
> "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the
> bedroom?"
> Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
> The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
> her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
> unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
> different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so
I
> told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her
> new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the
> jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell
> you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a
> shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a
> tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I
> threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost
> nearing satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited
> anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the
> cashier".
> I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
> like it."
> Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
> WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff
> for awhile.. You're just not enough in touch with my financial needs as a
> man for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
> And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added
"Why
> can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
> Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
>
************************************************************************
> > >Subject: Fw: Hunting for beaver (This is funny)
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better.
> > >
> > > > I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.
> > >
> > > > What do you think about that?"
> > >
> > > > The doctor considered his question for a minute and then
said,
> > >
> > > > "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a
> > >season.
> > >
> > > > One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry and
> > >
> > > > picked up his umbrella instead of his gun.
> > >
> > > > When he got to the creek, he saw a beaver sitting beside the
> > >stream.
> > >
> > > > He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the beaver
> fell dead.
> > >
> > > > "What do you think of that?"
> > >
> > > > The 90-year-old said, "Ha,I'd say somebody else shot that
> beaver."
> > >
> > > > The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
>