My fav. David
I guess I have to face the fact that it would never happen with David. I like to think that there may be a chance, but I know god damn well that it wouldn't happen. And that sucks cuz I want him so bad. I haven't cried over it yet, but when I think about it I just get that nasty, empty pit in my stomach that makes me feel like I'm worthless. He knows what he wants in life, he's soo smart, and even though he is extremely, extremely cocky and he thinks the world revolves around him I would do anything for that stupid fuck. lol. When I think about someone I want to end up with, I don't think about love. The first thing I think about is: does he have his shit together? Is he financially secure? And does he have a temper? LOL. Sad, but thats what I look for when I think about who I wanna marry. And God damn it I could be so secure financially, and yeah he'd be cocky and he'd probably cheat on me (duh!) but for some stupid, dumb ass reason I'd allow it. Fuck! I want you to meet him when you come out here Coop, you'll see what I am talking about. He's just so my type-of guy, a complete ass hole. lol. I'll get over it. I give myself a couple of weeks to get over him and then realize he's really not worth it. But right now he's worth it to me. I need this learning experience right now I guess. AAAaaahhh! It's great, its not a bad feeling. It's a good feeling because I don't feel turned down, dumped or whatever. I really don't. I guess we're really not putting each other down too hard for a reason cuz I guess we both do believe we could be good friends. And maybe thats a good sign cuz maybe there could be more. HAHA. This is what I call setting myself up for disaster. Right? Fuck.