silence
I never thought silence could hurt so much, i never thought a girl could effect me so much, hell they were nothing but girls to me, but this one stole my soul, i fear i will never truly be whole again, but im sure time will heal all my hurt, but time has a way of taking its sweet ass time, im not sure what to expect any more, they say never expect any thing then you will never be let down, so i guess this is best for now, but god damn it all i miss her, i have cried, i have screamed, i have cursed, i have prayed till my head felt like it was going to explode, i have wished on everything u can wish on, but nothing has changed, except me, and im not sure if its for the best, i can only hope it is, there are a lot of thing changing in my life, i can only hope this is the right path, my heart is so tired of being broken, my body is so tired of hurting and my brain is trying to stop thinking, but it still keeps going, i try to count my blessings and im thankful for everyone, but in this pain im going through nothing seems to be enough, i want more, but more of what, that i am uncertian, i know life has something in store for me, but this pain is making the trip hard on me, i sometimes wish i could go back to when i could make it on my own, when nothing mattered except for playing outside after school, when life was simple, but even then i find no comfort, something big is gonna happen, im just impatient and so stubborn i cant see straight, i wish i knew what was gonna happen, i wish the dreams where all i can see is her face would stop, i wish i could fall out of love, but i cant, i guess this is where im supposed to be, i guess there is something im supposed to be learning, i wish the lessons were less painful, usually i thrive off of pain, but even for me this is too much to bare, and all i think is GOD I WANT HER BACK, and i know i would do things different, but i know i dont want her to be with me just to shut me up, i want something real, but something that doesnt hurt, but as the great Catness says, Love and Pain, they are together, and they work, and u really cant have one without the other, and you cant stay away from love for fear of the pain, i guess i will just have to wait and see