I give up on it alllllll I give up on the greeeeeed

Jul 01, 2005 20:35

Oh, just watch how I don't talk about why I've disappeared for a month.

So I'm staying at the ocean for a week. Much like last year's shore house trip, it is very necessary for me to have alcohol and sun surging through my body. This is what I look like now:



Using the latest in photo editing technology, this is my projection of how I'll look by next week:



So it's already time for me to take a week off of work to get drunk and fry myself and think about my favorite subject. It's kinda like my New Year; since I have this slight "grr, down with establishment" thing, it would be fitting. Things I've learned since my last 168 hour break from existence (aside from deeper things like true love and all things attatched):

My brother is apparently really hot.

A large portion of male celebrities can kiss my apparently hairy ass.

There's a place in Ireland called Kilkenny. I wonder if that's why they used to kill Kenny in Southpark episodes...

The following applies to no one on my frieds list: My stereotype of someone from California: "OMG, why is there so much drama in my life? Wow, I just said OMG. That is sooo weird... Anyway, I'm going to go take a handful of E and mystery pills and cheat on my boyfriend Tazer, who either designs software business solutions that he doesn't understand the application or sells software business solutions that he doesn't know how to design with StytchHookUp who teaches Yoga and keeps a blog about his philosophical views on anime.

I like the freeze dried vegetables in Cup-o-Noodles. And make sure the lid is loose, or else boiling water will surge out.

Tequila goes well with fruit and vegetables. But not milk. Pain and vomit will surge through your stomach and appropriate orafices.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do with yourself is look absurd and not care who's laughing at you.

I hate most people's fucking pets. Sorry. I'm a dick.

Some people are dumb enough to murder their second spouse the same way they murdered their first.

New Jersey has many roads and I think we have a slum quota that every county needs to fill.

Even though I wasn't hitting on her, I got the perfect rejection line a few weeks ago: "I have to go. My IBS (Irritable Bowell Syndrome) is acting up." It got her out of the conversation, and if I was going to try anything, the thought of something surging out of her ass would have deterred me.

I just heard the word "deluge" used by an anchorperson.

Despite my icon, I've actually quit smoking in favor of fruit. Blueberries are cheaper than smoking, and instead of comming out your mouth, noxious air surges out of... never mind.

Edit: What the fuck is up with this tag nonsense?
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