Valmont VS. Dangerous Liaisons
Okay, before I begin, let me just warn you that this is going to be an extremely nerdy entry, so you might just want to save yourself now. I’m off on a rant review again. Oh, and please don’t for a moment think I actually know what it is I’m rambling on about. These are just my little opinions.
Alright, so tonight (apparently it was a rather slow night) I watched the movies Valmont with Annette Bening & Colin Firth and Dangerous Liaisons with Glenn Close & John Malkovich. Both movies are adaptations from the French book entitled "Les Liaisons dangereuses" written in 1782. (Most people my age know of this story from the movie “Cruel Intentions” with Ryan Phillipe and Sarah Michelle Gellar, which I found oh-so enthralling at the age of 13. But these movies are based off the original story plot and timeframe.) Because I love period dramas and scandalous scheming (and boy has this got it all) I ate this shit up! I even kindly overlooked that this all takes place in France, never minding the British and American accents. (It’s rare that I’m able to do that.) Now I’ve never read the book obviously, but from what I read online the movie Dangerous Liaisons follows a lot closer to the book than Valmont does. I can honestly say I really liked both movies, and loved Colin Firth in all his yummy yummy screwness as Valmont, but John Malkovich stole it all. Never in my life would I have thought to say, “Mmm… damn, that John Malkovich is one nice piece.” But I have a whole new outlook. There were a few moments during Dangerous Liaisons where I squealed like a school girl, did a little dance, and paused to change my panties. He not only was nice to look at, but added more to Valmont than Firth did I believe. In the beginning of the movie, I wasn’t so taken with him, but towards the middle and the end I quickly changed my mind. Glenn Close was fantastic (as always) as a manipulative and raging biatch. I thought Annette Bening was a little bit better to look at in the role of Marquise Isabelle de Merteuil (i.e. the bathtub scene in the wet see-thru chemise thing), but I think Glenny Glenn added so much more depth to the character. Another big plus for Dangerous Liaisons as opposed to Valmont is that they showed so much more to Valmont’s undoing and Madame Marie de Tourvel’s - played by Michelle Pfeiffer -- heartbreak and decline. It also gave a little more explanation and reason to the scheming and twisted frienemy relationship between Merteuil and Valmont. And Malkovich gave Valmont’s character a little more of an appeal in the personality department than Firth did. My one complaint with Dangerous Liaisons is that they had Keanu Reeves playing Danceny. I think his work in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure was more believable. I’m really glad I didn’t know going into this movie that he was in it because usually if I see anything with Keanu Reeves in the credits, I avoid it like the plague. But luckily for my sanity, he doesn’t appear too often. An 18-year-old Uma Thurman is also on the cast list of D.L. as the innocent and susceptible Cecile. In Valmont, the same role is played by Fairuza Balk - the gothic ringleader of “The Craft” and tattooed-bad-influence-southern girlfriend of Bobby Boucher in “The Waterboy”. I didn’t realize who it was at first, since in Valmont she’s only 15, but I knew I had seen her somewhere before. However Cecile does get more on-screen time in Valmont. All in all, I really liked both, but I have to say Dangerous Liaisons was infinitely better in my opinion. Plus D.L. allowed a little more time to get to know and see Valmont’s character, which was without a doubt my favorite of them all, although Glenn Close’s Merteuil came close. And thus concludes my little impromptu amateur movie review. I haven’t found anywhere online that shows the full Valmont movie, although I’m sure you can download it somewhere, but I did find someone who had Dangerous Liaisons on youtube, so if the curiosity strikes you, you can view it here.
And of course, where would any post of mine be without my jam of the hour. I present another one of my faves from way back when, Martika’s “Toy Soldiers”. Willy likes this one too. He howls sings loudly to it. I remember when I had toy soldiers. I called them GI Joe’s and Ken dolls. If I’m remembering correctly, I think a couple of them had a few dangerous liaisons of their own with Barbie. And I think Skipper got thrown in there somewhere. Oh what a mess that was.