This is what I know...iwonder87September 22 2006, 05:47:17 UTC
Hey Sym,
I know that you really wanted understanding from us, your friends, and anyone else who read this entry.
What I have to say is that I may not know about the feeling of a death as close as your father, but I know about death and how it has effected my life.
My dad's half brother, Mark, about 5 or 6 years ago died of AIDS. He was gay. Until about a year ago did I actually start thinking about it.
I thought about all the things that he could have taught me, tell me, take me, show me, introduce me to, whatever you could think of.
I thought about everyone else in my family and thinking about any of the things that I go through in my life. I found none. Mostly because nobody (that I know of, except for one and he's not out yet) in the rest of my family is gay, etc.
I found security, acknowledgement, and most of the things I needed from all of the friends that I had and had made in the course of the last couple years. Not one person could tell me everything that I needed to know, or could give me everything I needed. Each person gave me that little piece of the puzzle. To this day I have come to realize that this puzzle will never be finished.
However, the only thing I can do is to find as many of the answers as I can to the questions that I myself stumble over.
I guess what I'm telling you is that the way your feeling is legitimate. But, we, your friends, your family, as much as we may not have all the answers, we have some.
I know that you really wanted understanding from us, your friends, and anyone else who read this entry.
What I have to say is that I may not know about the feeling of a death as close as your father, but I know about death and how it has effected my life.
My dad's half brother, Mark, about 5 or 6 years ago died of AIDS. He was gay. Until about a year ago did I actually start thinking about it.
I thought about all the things that he could have taught me, tell me, take me, show me, introduce me to, whatever you could think of.
I thought about everyone else in my family and thinking about any of the things that I go through in my life. I found none. Mostly because nobody (that I know of, except for one and he's not out yet) in the rest of my family is gay, etc.
I found security, acknowledgement, and most of the things I needed from all of the friends that I had and had made in the course of the last couple years. Not one person could tell me everything that I needed to know, or could give me everything I needed. Each person gave me that little piece of the puzzle. To this day I have come to realize that this puzzle will never be finished.
However, the only thing I can do is to find as many of the answers as I can to the questions that I myself stumble over.
I guess what I'm telling you is that the way your feeling is legitimate. But, we, your friends, your family, as much as we may not have all the answers, we have some.
Ask.
Much love. Tony.
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