I think there is no more powerful thing than poetry, there is no stronger thing than song....
This weeked one of my friends made me promise to be a big part of her life next year and
that shook me a bit.
There are so many people whose lives I want to be a part of, who need to be around and who I just am not making the effort to be around. At a school where the idea of free time is, just that, an idea, I think I miss out on so many possibilies, so many adventures, and so many memories I might have. That, I think, is the saddest part of being a student here.
I had my last meeting with my boss today for my intern position. In two years, I can say, without exaggerating, that we've done amazing things to improve GLBT Issues on campus. But now there's someone new taking my place, who will make more progress, who will spend hours hearing stories about my boss's crazy cat lady next door neighbor and who will be asked to be on all the committees I was on and who will be amazing and
I'll have to stop myself from stepping on her toes. She's a good friend of mine, and I was her TA and I love everything about her and I know she'll succeed. I just need more self control.
I love how you can just tell Health Services you have a cold and they give you a bag of fun.
I have too too too many finals and I should be doing them now instead of writing some boring emo crap but writing this crap calms me down some. Or something.
I interviewed for an internship with CMU's Media Relations and while it's not an ideal job it pays well and I can improve my writing skills and it's better than absolutely nothing, which is what I have so far.
Sometimes I feel like a hack who gave up creative writing so I could take classes that would actually get me a job and I see how amazing my creative writer friends are and their love for poetry and all the readings they go to and awards they win and sometimes I think I could have been that and other times I think good thing you didn't try to be that because you'd fail AND be broke.
There are certain people (ok maybe just one person) who I've avoided speaking with lately because I don't want to blow up at this person but I don't know how to resolve said drama and it's getting worse and worse. I don't like being petty.
I want to be all cultured and drink red wine while listening to jazz and writing in a notebook and be as far from technology and people as possible. I want to smoke cherry cloves and have a deep voice even when I don't have a cold and write with a fountain pen (but not be stereotypical).
I want to have a new name that sounds exotic but can still be pronounced without and accent and not sound pretentious when I talk and not have to judge people to feel better about myself and not pretend to be friends with people I can't stand simply because I don't want to piss anyone off.
I want to write satire and be able to sip espresso without coughing and know slang for all kinds of drugs (but of course have given them all up years ago).
I want to trust people and stop setting people up and finally set myself up with someone and have the high standards I have met by someone.
I want to stop wanting things and start doing things.
that shook me a bit.
There are so many people whose lives I want to be a part of, who need to be around and who I just am not making the effort to be around. At a school where the idea of free time is, just that, an idea, I think I miss out on so many possibilies, so many adventures, and so many memories I might have. That, I think, is the saddest part of being a student here.
I had my last meeting with my boss today for my intern position. In two years, I can say, without exaggerating, that we've done amazing things to improve GLBT Issues on campus. But now there's someone new taking my place, who will make more progress, who will spend hours hearing stories about my boss's crazy cat lady next door neighbor and who will be asked to be on all the committees I was on and who will be amazing and
I'll have to stop myself from stepping on her toes. She's a good friend of mine, and I was her TA and I love everything about her and I know she'll succeed. I just need more self control.
I love how you can just tell Health Services you have a cold and they give you a bag of fun.
I have too too too many finals and I should be doing them now instead of writing some boring emo crap but writing this crap calms me down some. Or something.
I interviewed for an internship with CMU's Media Relations and while it's not an ideal job it pays well and I can improve my writing skills and it's better than absolutely nothing, which is what I have so far.
Sometimes I feel like a hack who gave up creative writing so I could take classes that would actually get me a job and I see how amazing my creative writer friends are and their love for poetry and all the readings they go to and awards they win and sometimes I think I could have been that and other times I think good thing you didn't try to be that because you'd fail AND be broke.
There are certain people (ok maybe just one person) who I've avoided speaking with lately because I don't want to blow up at this person but I don't know how to resolve said drama and it's getting worse and worse. I don't like being petty.
I want to be all cultured and drink red wine while listening to jazz and writing in a notebook and be as far from technology and people as possible. I want to smoke cherry cloves and have a deep voice even when I don't have a cold and write with a fountain pen (but not be stereotypical).
I want to have a new name that sounds exotic but can still be pronounced without and accent and not sound pretentious when I talk and not have to judge people to feel better about myself and not pretend to be friends with people I can't stand simply because I don't want to piss anyone off.
I want to write satire and be able to sip espresso without coughing and know slang for all kinds of drugs (but of course have given them all up years ago).
I want to trust people and stop setting people up and finally set myself up with someone and have the high standards I have met by someone.
I want to stop wanting things and start doing things.