(no subject)
You know what I don't understand? That crusty stuff that gathers at the corner of your eye while you sleep. I think the Sandman is plotting something while we dream, but we always wake up and foil it.
And I think the Sandman has been plotting something really devious with me lately because my eye crust has been more like a mixture of crust and goo that is gathering along the entire perminiter of my eye lids, just waiting to creep inside and change my view on things. For whom is the Sandman working? Who is trying to poison my mind?
Or, can that crust-paste be rejected dreams? How dare my dreams be left on the outskirts of my eye lids, without a chance of enlightening or entertaining me? I am furious at this injustice. I have been dreamless for so many years.
Are they collecting just outside my eyes in hopes that one day I will go into such a deep sleep that they can form one super dream to blow my mind with?
That would have to be one heck of a sleep, as I slept slightly past noon today for the first time in a long time. Mind you, I woke up a few times, deciding that I was not getting up because I didn't have to and didn't want to.
Is there some method by which to determine which side of the bed is the right side and which is the wrong at any given time? When I finally got up this morning (I couldn't stand the plaque on my teeth any longer and really had to go to the bathroom), I wished hard that internal forces weren't forcing me up because I felt as thought I was not on the correct side. Now I am left with a feeling of heaviness - I know I am going to wear these pajamas to class today, because it is acting for non-actors and I am not performing, and yet I almost feel like by doing so I have given up some sort of... the correct word escapes me (maybe there isn't one).
Maybe it's not the clothing. Maybe it is this mood. I know that the next three days will see me getting up stupid early to go do homework in a gas station. Reading break is upon us and I didn't get enough work done before it for it to really be a break. I have four plays to read, a term paper to finish, a difficult and disturbing monologue to perfect and memorize and a design research project that I am not happy with anymore after showing it in class yesterday.
I think this feeling can be classified under "Why bother?" Why should I bother even thinking about showering before class today? I'm still going in my pajamas. Why bother working so hard on my design project? My costume plates are going to be horrific because I can't draw.
Why must I doubt myself?
Perhaps it is only the crust-paste talking.
And I think the Sandman has been plotting something really devious with me lately because my eye crust has been more like a mixture of crust and goo that is gathering along the entire perminiter of my eye lids, just waiting to creep inside and change my view on things. For whom is the Sandman working? Who is trying to poison my mind?
Or, can that crust-paste be rejected dreams? How dare my dreams be left on the outskirts of my eye lids, without a chance of enlightening or entertaining me? I am furious at this injustice. I have been dreamless for so many years.
Are they collecting just outside my eyes in hopes that one day I will go into such a deep sleep that they can form one super dream to blow my mind with?
That would have to be one heck of a sleep, as I slept slightly past noon today for the first time in a long time. Mind you, I woke up a few times, deciding that I was not getting up because I didn't have to and didn't want to.
Is there some method by which to determine which side of the bed is the right side and which is the wrong at any given time? When I finally got up this morning (I couldn't stand the plaque on my teeth any longer and really had to go to the bathroom), I wished hard that internal forces weren't forcing me up because I felt as thought I was not on the correct side. Now I am left with a feeling of heaviness - I know I am going to wear these pajamas to class today, because it is acting for non-actors and I am not performing, and yet I almost feel like by doing so I have given up some sort of... the correct word escapes me (maybe there isn't one).
Maybe it's not the clothing. Maybe it is this mood. I know that the next three days will see me getting up stupid early to go do homework in a gas station. Reading break is upon us and I didn't get enough work done before it for it to really be a break. I have four plays to read, a term paper to finish, a difficult and disturbing monologue to perfect and memorize and a design research project that I am not happy with anymore after showing it in class yesterday.
I think this feeling can be classified under "Why bother?" Why should I bother even thinking about showering before class today? I'm still going in my pajamas. Why bother working so hard on my design project? My costume plates are going to be horrific because I can't draw.
Why must I doubt myself?
Perhaps it is only the crust-paste talking.