Dr. Skullard cries too much. Diagnosis?
Yesterday I watched the 64th and final episode of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, which was not only a very enjoyable show to watch but also marks the longest week-to-week viewing commitment I've ever sustained since the advent of DVDs. A show kept my attention with just one episode a week for more than a year? Toss the ritalin, folks! Fidget Boy is cured!
What surprised me as I was watching this show was all the times it made me tear up or even outright cry. That's right, Skullard is unmanned by anime. I'd tell Luka, "Yeah, I watched another ep of Fullmetal this morning."
"Did you cry again?"
And I'd hang my head.
Thing is, it's just about every show that uses cheap emotional hooks and dramatic cliche's that make me well up any more. Some spunky lil' anime girl just has to look toward the horizon with shining eyes and a fist clenched in determination saying, "It doesn't matter. Yui needs me. I've got to try," and I'm wiping my eyes. Fuckin' pathetic, right?
Or is it a sign of something deeper? Y'see, I've also been watching through the first five seasons of House M.D. On that show, everything's a symptom, and being a product of whatever media I happen to be consuming at the moment, lately everything I see going on gets put into my own personal differential diagnosis. So, I say to myself, "Motherfucker, you've sure been crying a lot at these anime shows." And I say back, "Dickweed, no shit. Perhaps it's a symptom of an underlying problem?" And the response is, "Maybe you're just a middle-aged pussy, Pussy. But let's look for something to hang our embarrassing behaviour on so we can salvage some modicum of self-respect out of this mess. And get me more ice cream."
Okay, just working off the top of my head here, but doesn't the act of crying release endorphins? It's one of the body's ways of giving the brain a slight chemical zing, like putting a little sugar on the cornflakes, as it were. I've always been someone who's craved natural chemical mood-enhancers, but just was never able to find them in my grocer's freezer. Perhaps . . . perhaps . . . my body's over-willingness to get all weepy is my unconscious attempt to get a fix. This might explain my monster addiction to anime that's popped up over the last few years. Maybe I'm devouring all these shows in order to tear up and access the low-level endorphin buzz. Which would make watching anime akin to a secondary form of masturbation. Whee!
Is weepiness masturbation's low-level cousin? Conventional wisdom says girls are a lot more weepy than boys are, and it also suggests that girls are a lot less likely to pet Petunia than boys are to rub Richard. Is this some form of gender compensation? Do ladies cry more often just because it's an easier way to access the chemical brain-buzz? Or do guys not cry as much, not so much the macho "boys don't cry" stereotype, but because they're inveterate frank-spankers? Does the hunger for that yummy little endorphin cookie explain these gender-based behaviours . . . or am I just freakin' awesome at projecting my own personal shit upon the world at large?
Luka has another theory: maybe I'm tired. Exhaustion makes people more emotional, i.e. more likely to cry at cartoons. I am perpetually wrung-out tired, so her idea has merrit.
But c'mon . . . I came up with an idea. You know how rare that is? As far as I'm concerned, I've discovered the wanking-weeping corollary. I've got a pet theory, and just like our rabbits, I'm gonna let it hop around the house, pet it, and over-indulge it with treats. Ideas are like children: when you have one of your own, you think it's prettier and more special than everyone else's.
That said, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. Five stars. Loved it. Pass the Kleenex.