imiss him

[skudz0r]

i dont know why
but i miss him
TERRRRRRRIBLY

I miss him more than i ever thought i would
i miss talking to him
i miss him tucking me in at night when he thinks im asleep
i miss that he knows me better than i know myself
....but theni think about how shitty i was
and all the bad things i have said
and then i think about why i said them
because they are true

i hated being big spoon
i hate that he's not college educated
i hate that he wont even TRY to learn spanish
i hate that he is sooooo nice that hes a door mat
i hate that he has no drive
or no direction
i hate that he's always going to be skinnier than me
i hate that he's not sexually adventurous
i hate his lack of confidence
....
and thats all i hate

no- wait
i hate the way he used the tp for tissue
i hate his friends
i that he thinks he can play music but is not really good at it
....

i hate that i still want to talk to him
i hate that i still want to wake up to him rubbing me
i hate that he is the only one that could always make me laugh
i hate that he never came to any of my shows
i hate that ive been to all of his
i hate that we could have had a good life together
i hate waiting this out

BADLY