(no subject)
The scales lie.
Its quite clear I have lost weight. My stomach is definitely that bit flatter and my jeans are that bit looser. But the scales dont change. I have to get a new one when I get a god damn job.
So, in the last few months, nearly a year, my body has started to react differently to different foods.
I've developed a lactose intolerancy. I've always hated dairy but I was able to eat it and now I cant even eat a small helping of ice cream without being doubled over with severe cramps.
I cant eat bacon, sausages, fried eggs, fried mushrooms, pizza, apples or pineapples. I cant drink smoothies, even without youghurt in them. If I do, I'll pay for it later with cramps.
I had fajitas for lunch a while ago and within the hour I was feeling like shit because of them.
I cant even drink normal TEA!! I fucking love tea and I cant have it. I can only drink green tea or peppermint. I love both of them but every now and again I'd love to sit down with a cup of tea and relax with it. Instead the minute the last drop passes my lips I have to run to the bathroom cause my body wont keep it.
Maybe thats the reason I've started dropping the weight. Because I cant eat anything anymore.
I know its like a dream come true to not be ABLE to eat anything. But it feels like a curse. I want to have the option to eat and not have to turn down everything just because of how my body will react.
Has this ever happened to anyone else?
Its driving me mad. My body is controlling me now. I'm not controlling it. It dictates what I can and cant eat. Not me.
I'M supposed to be incontrol of MY body not the other way around.
It makes me so god-damn mad.
And my effing birthday is in three weeks. Fuh-king whoop to turning 20.
I'm in SUCH a horrid mood