(no subject)
Hmmmm, tuesday night, still not enrolled in school, alost got sent away early twice in one day, girlfriend's pissed/depressed/whatever you wanna call it, and its my fault, as usual. A long time ago, i would ask myself "What do you wake up for every day?" just as a small way of keeping my goals in mind and keeping myself motivated. Well, it backfired, cuz for a long time, i had nothing. Then Allie came along, and for a long time it was her, then it slowly went from "allie" to "trying to make allie happy", but lately it seems that no matter what i do, i either fuck it up or remind her of "someone she doesnt need to be reminded of" and its really starting to get to me. Don't get me wrong, i love her with all my heart, which is saying something considering that up untill i was with her i didn't even have "all" of my heart, but i dont know what to do right now, it seems like i can hardly talk to her without fucking up somehow. When we see each other things are fine, but that only happens once in a blue moon anyway. Oh well...I dont even know why im writing this in here, 99% of the people who read it wont give a shit, just out of the sheer fact that i havent maintained personal contact with any of you, i know its my fault...but its too late for appologies...sorry for whining...