day one of diet
I'm not really dieting.. not like smart ones, healthy choice, let-me-hang-myself-right-now dieting. I'm dieting loosely. What really pisses me off is that I'm mostly doing it for my doctor. Dr. dick as I will call him from now on.
so yeah.
my current weight is 238. and I hate to admit thatttt.
My goal weight.. i don't know.. 190? somewhere under 200.
I just want to be able to lose weight and actually feel good about myself this time. When i was at my lowest (160) i would look in the mirror and see a cow. I felt every roll every inch of flab.. it was terrible. And I didn't realize it then but the way people treated me from before when i was fat to when i was at my lowest was rediculous. Before my group of HS friends left me out of plans, ignored me, embarassed me in front of the guy I liked.. and then went on to including me in all the plans, helping to set me up and constantly complimenting me. After my surgery in 05 and I gained 20 pounds in a month a few of them.. 4 of them.. just sorta stopped talking to me. I don't want that again. i just want people to accept me for who i am.
But yeah I want to start getting up around 7 and walking at least a mile a day and slowly work into doing more like pilates and maybe some weights (i HATE weight lifting)I just want to focus on eating better not cutting out everything I love. We all have to have rewards right?
Any advice, words of encouragement.. anything would be so appreciated. I feel so hypocritical because I'm all "people shouldn't care about outward appearences" and "if i lose weight it'll be because I want to" and here I am.. doing it because my doctor says i have to lose 6 pounds in 4 weeks.
Dickkkkkkkk.
Okay I'm done ranting. I'm going to be positive about this. I know i can do it. I just have to tell myself that i can. It's just food.
so yeah.
my current weight is 238. and I hate to admit thatttt.
My goal weight.. i don't know.. 190? somewhere under 200.
I just want to be able to lose weight and actually feel good about myself this time. When i was at my lowest (160) i would look in the mirror and see a cow. I felt every roll every inch of flab.. it was terrible. And I didn't realize it then but the way people treated me from before when i was fat to when i was at my lowest was rediculous. Before my group of HS friends left me out of plans, ignored me, embarassed me in front of the guy I liked.. and then went on to including me in all the plans, helping to set me up and constantly complimenting me. After my surgery in 05 and I gained 20 pounds in a month a few of them.. 4 of them.. just sorta stopped talking to me. I don't want that again. i just want people to accept me for who i am.
But yeah I want to start getting up around 7 and walking at least a mile a day and slowly work into doing more like pilates and maybe some weights (i HATE weight lifting)I just want to focus on eating better not cutting out everything I love. We all have to have rewards right?
Any advice, words of encouragement.. anything would be so appreciated. I feel so hypocritical because I'm all "people shouldn't care about outward appearences" and "if i lose weight it'll be because I want to" and here I am.. doing it because my doctor says i have to lose 6 pounds in 4 weeks.
Dickkkkkkkk.
Okay I'm done ranting. I'm going to be positive about this. I know i can do it. I just have to tell myself that i can. It's just food.