Parenthood
Alright I know it's been a ridiculously long time since I've posted and so this title might concern you. I'm not going to lie; it's been a journey the last several months. But here I am more confident in God's goodness, mercy, and love for me than ever before. And also I say this full well surmising that the enemy has insight to this, maybe because he is outside time? But definitely the enemy is always ready to kick you when you are down and rob you of the joy that God intends for His children to have. But if the enemy is doing this, rest assured that God is more powerful, harder at work, and wiser than the enemy. Therefore the end will be much better than imaginable by all the time spent in the fight.
Alright, this is not to say that I am a parent or that the struggle mentioned above was with parenthood. The following will explain my sentiments about parenthood:
I have been privileged to care for many pregnant women and their subsequent babies. I rarely see husbands or their "baby daddies," but I frequently get to see these mothers with their children postpartum. Now I have heard it said that few things mature a person like marriage and parenthood, but now I have see the truth of this.
Most of these mothers did not plan to get pregnant. Their oldest kid might have just started college or their oldest I might have had the privilege of guiding into the extra-uterine world (with breathing air and enjoying sunlight).
These mothers may have smoked and may still smoke. They may have done drugs, but I am AMAZED how many moms REALLY quit drugs because of their kids and pregnancies. Sure there are plenty who don't or didn't the first 5 times they got pregnant and DHS takes their kids even this time. But these kids, I think they fill a void. They exhibit a neediness and an unconditional love that is not found in this world.
These women, well some of them came to me broken, but now they radiate. They came to me lost and now they see the light. They came to me hopeless and now they see the hope for the future in their arms or the carseat beside them.
I'm not saying these are perfect mothers, nor am I implying that I did anything miraculous. I am simply saying that parenthood changes people. It motivates people. These women may have never known true love, but now they are able to know it in the love they have for this squirming kid who won't sit still or when they are awake at 2 am changing a diaper explosion.
Why do I say this today? Why not last week or a year ago? It's the magnitude of this. I see it repeatedly. I keep seeing it. Today I saw this mom who hadn't found out she was pregnant until she was after 20 weeks and ended up getting diagnosed with her own health problems during the pregnancy and therefore had to transfer care across town. I didn't deliver her baby. I only think I saw her one or two times before I had to transfer her care. She brought me her child at the very first visit after she left the hospital. She's been bringing him to me since then for almost a year now. I saw her today and she just said how she wouldn't trade any of it.
I saw another women today for her postpartum visit who I'd personally delivered. She told me when she was pregnant that her kid was big and it turns out she was right. She was over 9 pounds. I'd cared for her the way I care for all my patients. She just hugged me out of the blue; she was radiating. The kid wasn't planned. She recounted how she got pregnant today. I could tell that she wouldn't have trade this kid for anything.
It's funny we live in a world of choice, but honestly we as humans are so selfish. We are looking out for our own interest above any one else's. Women often see getting pregnant as the end of the world and something terrible. I mean, that is unless it's planned. Who honestly plans anyway? Actually, they are right. It is the end of the world. It's the end of this world that revolves around ourselves and a pretty bleak world at that.
The world it opens is one that's like this: my kid pooped 4 times yesterday, what's wrong? Or HE ROLLED OVER! HE SMILED! He laughs for no reason! My kid's spoiled.
You tell them their kid looks great and the moms practically beam. You tell them they are doing a good job at taking care of their kids and they get a spark in their eye.
One patient that I am caring for her now during her second pregnancy and also took care of during her first pregnancy said, "I quit the drugs with my first kid and I stopped smoking with my second." I'm not going to lie, I felt so much joy with that. Being a doctor, I guess, is a little like being a parent. I see these people change over time. I tell them what to do and they don't listen. I believe in them even when they don't believe in themselves. And I pray for them (especially when they are in labor).
Parenthood isn't always planned. It's not always expected or even wanted, but when women decide to keep their kids. When they endure pregnancy for 8.9 months, they experience something that they don't advertise on TV. They can't bottle it. They can't put it into books. They get maturity, love, hope, and more joy than they could have ever bargained for. So at the end of the day, I recommend life. I am unashamedly pro-life. And the life that the mother gives this child has a boomerang effect. The mother herself receives life back.
Alright, this is not to say that I am a parent or that the struggle mentioned above was with parenthood. The following will explain my sentiments about parenthood:
I have been privileged to care for many pregnant women and their subsequent babies. I rarely see husbands or their "baby daddies," but I frequently get to see these mothers with their children postpartum. Now I have heard it said that few things mature a person like marriage and parenthood, but now I have see the truth of this.
Most of these mothers did not plan to get pregnant. Their oldest kid might have just started college or their oldest I might have had the privilege of guiding into the extra-uterine world (with breathing air and enjoying sunlight).
These mothers may have smoked and may still smoke. They may have done drugs, but I am AMAZED how many moms REALLY quit drugs because of their kids and pregnancies. Sure there are plenty who don't or didn't the first 5 times they got pregnant and DHS takes their kids even this time. But these kids, I think they fill a void. They exhibit a neediness and an unconditional love that is not found in this world.
These women, well some of them came to me broken, but now they radiate. They came to me lost and now they see the light. They came to me hopeless and now they see the hope for the future in their arms or the carseat beside them.
I'm not saying these are perfect mothers, nor am I implying that I did anything miraculous. I am simply saying that parenthood changes people. It motivates people. These women may have never known true love, but now they are able to know it in the love they have for this squirming kid who won't sit still or when they are awake at 2 am changing a diaper explosion.
Why do I say this today? Why not last week or a year ago? It's the magnitude of this. I see it repeatedly. I keep seeing it. Today I saw this mom who hadn't found out she was pregnant until she was after 20 weeks and ended up getting diagnosed with her own health problems during the pregnancy and therefore had to transfer care across town. I didn't deliver her baby. I only think I saw her one or two times before I had to transfer her care. She brought me her child at the very first visit after she left the hospital. She's been bringing him to me since then for almost a year now. I saw her today and she just said how she wouldn't trade any of it.
I saw another women today for her postpartum visit who I'd personally delivered. She told me when she was pregnant that her kid was big and it turns out she was right. She was over 9 pounds. I'd cared for her the way I care for all my patients. She just hugged me out of the blue; she was radiating. The kid wasn't planned. She recounted how she got pregnant today. I could tell that she wouldn't have trade this kid for anything.
It's funny we live in a world of choice, but honestly we as humans are so selfish. We are looking out for our own interest above any one else's. Women often see getting pregnant as the end of the world and something terrible. I mean, that is unless it's planned. Who honestly plans anyway? Actually, they are right. It is the end of the world. It's the end of this world that revolves around ourselves and a pretty bleak world at that.
The world it opens is one that's like this: my kid pooped 4 times yesterday, what's wrong? Or HE ROLLED OVER! HE SMILED! He laughs for no reason! My kid's spoiled.
You tell them their kid looks great and the moms practically beam. You tell them they are doing a good job at taking care of their kids and they get a spark in their eye.
One patient that I am caring for her now during her second pregnancy and also took care of during her first pregnancy said, "I quit the drugs with my first kid and I stopped smoking with my second." I'm not going to lie, I felt so much joy with that. Being a doctor, I guess, is a little like being a parent. I see these people change over time. I tell them what to do and they don't listen. I believe in them even when they don't believe in themselves. And I pray for them (especially when they are in labor).
Parenthood isn't always planned. It's not always expected or even wanted, but when women decide to keep their kids. When they endure pregnancy for 8.9 months, they experience something that they don't advertise on TV. They can't bottle it. They can't put it into books. They get maturity, love, hope, and more joy than they could have ever bargained for. So at the end of the day, I recommend life. I am unashamedly pro-life. And the life that the mother gives this child has a boomerang effect. The mother herself receives life back.