We now return to our regularly schduled rant
Everyone around me understands that I am a deadbeat. I lolly gag my way around town, and call my educational opportunities work. What I call insomnia is misinterpretted as laziness when I can't sleep at night and wake up after noon. My responsibilities are limited and I often fail at them. To top it off, I haven't had to earn a thing.
It's not that I'm ingratful, but I can be a schmuck. Yes, I have been tremendously lucky, but not everything is unearned. When you were out with friends on a saturday night in high school, I was at home wtaching Saturday Night Live and reading Time magazine. When you were hanging out at the mall on a half day, I was on my computer learning HTML. When you were in class making practical jokes, I was taking notes and considering lessons to draw from them. To top it off, while you were out on dates with your socially constructed arrangements, I was learning from your mistakes every step of the way.
I've paid at least some dues. The least of which in money I would throw away just as easily. Don't even try lecturing me on the pain of divorce. I had no father. And that meant my mother had to be both, with no choice in the matter. Her time split between me and my sister, while I was teased in KINDERGARTEN that my mom was a dyke. I would just as easily give the money back for my father's advice and friendship - unfortunately, it's how my mother gets some resolution out of the matter, by holding those responsible accountable.
So here we are again, running in circles about responsibility. Am I shirking some? Absolutely. Am I responsible for myself? Barely. Do I take on other peoples burden where I can? Your damn right I do.
Stop telling me about my personal irresponsibilities. I'm in this to take on the work that has to be done that people can't do when they're struggling to solve their own problems. I can afford to be more than short-sighted, and so I fight the good fight for others who don't think they can.
I'm in school for that very purpose - I want to help others the best way I can. Film is more than fun for me - it is the literature of our times that has the power to create awareness and inspire action. In the meantime, I can write my way into people's minds. We'll never solve these problems if people don't know there is a problem. I'll be taking us out of the dream, and into the reality that matters. I at least owe that (debt of gratitude).
It's not that I'm ingratful, but I can be a schmuck. Yes, I have been tremendously lucky, but not everything is unearned. When you were out with friends on a saturday night in high school, I was at home wtaching Saturday Night Live and reading Time magazine. When you were hanging out at the mall on a half day, I was on my computer learning HTML. When you were in class making practical jokes, I was taking notes and considering lessons to draw from them. To top it off, while you were out on dates with your socially constructed arrangements, I was learning from your mistakes every step of the way.
I've paid at least some dues. The least of which in money I would throw away just as easily. Don't even try lecturing me on the pain of divorce. I had no father. And that meant my mother had to be both, with no choice in the matter. Her time split between me and my sister, while I was teased in KINDERGARTEN that my mom was a dyke. I would just as easily give the money back for my father's advice and friendship - unfortunately, it's how my mother gets some resolution out of the matter, by holding those responsible accountable.
So here we are again, running in circles about responsibility. Am I shirking some? Absolutely. Am I responsible for myself? Barely. Do I take on other peoples burden where I can? Your damn right I do.
Stop telling me about my personal irresponsibilities. I'm in this to take on the work that has to be done that people can't do when they're struggling to solve their own problems. I can afford to be more than short-sighted, and so I fight the good fight for others who don't think they can.
I'm in school for that very purpose - I want to help others the best way I can. Film is more than fun for me - it is the literature of our times that has the power to create awareness and inspire action. In the meantime, I can write my way into people's minds. We'll never solve these problems if people don't know there is a problem. I'll be taking us out of the dream, and into the reality that matters. I at least owe that (debt of gratitude).