clarity, happiness, dissapointment, relief, too much to swallow in one bite
so last night I went to the show! SHE was there, and I was DRUNK! 2dollar yeager shots...fucked me up..( i did not drive) so we talked a bit and I dont even know what I said to her but she said"I dont want to talk about this right now" and basically ran away from me! I was furious, not now, you dont call, or answer, when then? and I left.... stupid me, I did not drive, so leaving by myself was not exactly smart. I tried to call her, but unfortunately called her MOTHER at home again...ug. me "hello?" robin "hi" me "oh no not again!" Robin "yes, you did it again." fuck fuck fuck fuck, I took THAT number OUT of my phone today, NEVER again will I "DRUNK DIAL" her mother...:( but I left, it was snowing, I was WASTED, and I was walikng back to aurora. My phone however had decided it had been used enough and the batteries died! I was soaking wet, and trashed, and upset , and crying, and I went to a mexican rest. and got some food. I finally convinced them to call me a taxi and got a ride bcak to my car! at robs house. Iwent inside and hung out for a bit and talked to matty! he pissed me off talking SHIT about HER, and I pissed his friend off by talking shit about matty's mother. ANY ONE who knows me knows I am only joking, but this guy did not know me, and matty's mom had been a BIG help in this guys life. He was ready to kill me, seriously! Matty got him to calm down so we did not have to brawl, and I went home, after mattie gave me advice on how to "romance HER" he is entitled to his own opinion. After I got home I sent quite a few NASTY texts to HER... big regret there, I should not be allower near a phone or a computer when I am drunk like that! I woke up this morning so angry with myself about what I'd done. I asked her fo forgive me, but I can also understand if she NEVER does, because I have been a REAL ASSHOLE. I have decided that romancing HER is out of the question for now. It is only causeing us both strife, we are great friends, and we have not been lately, because of me PUSHING this thing. I realised last night after I blew up in anger/frustration/abandonment that I am not at a point in my own life where I can handle a relationship! I ONLY want us to be friends again, nothing..NOT 1 THING MORE. because I do love her, and she loves me, and this thing I have been doing is not working... I am not giving up, just learning more about myself, and someday I will be ready, but it is not NOW! I only hope she can forgive how I have been behaving and we can enjoy each other again in a no committment, totally understanding, fun way! please Pray for me people, lord know I need some help. I have sent a email to her about What I need to happen between us, and I left her a message on her phone too. If I can have ten minutes of her time I think everything will be ok, at least I'll feel better!
I got to work (on time) today and johny is covering his nose and I said "what are you doing?" and he says "you smell like a bar, or a liquor store!" and says "DO NOT greet or talk to any customers today!" and gave me some gum! well its been a weekend for sure. tonight I am staying home and taking a bath. and sleeping.
After work I took rick to the bar (my new boss) and we had a few drinks... he got wasted, I had to drive him home. he fell up the stairs.lol poor guy, however I met a guy at the bar who is going to get me a NEW JOB at CATTERPILLAR! yay. union, insurance, benefits, 3 to 4 times the pay I get now, and holidays(paid) 401k. I am so excited. I may get on the night shift also.. that would be cool. I have to take my resume over MON, and fill out an App.
things are looking up again! yay me.
did anyone hear about the poor lady who was hit by a car at delmar and peoria? she was thrown 60 feet through the air, and the car took off. the worst part is that NO ONE EVEN STOPPED TO HELP HER!?!?!?! THEY JUST SWITCHED LANES AND WENT AROUND HER>>>WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE????? stop and put your hazard lights on so NO ONE ELSE HITS HER for christ's sake! and call an ambulance!
I got to work (on time) today and johny is covering his nose and I said "what are you doing?" and he says "you smell like a bar, or a liquor store!" and says "DO NOT greet or talk to any customers today!" and gave me some gum! well its been a weekend for sure. tonight I am staying home and taking a bath. and sleeping.
After work I took rick to the bar (my new boss) and we had a few drinks... he got wasted, I had to drive him home. he fell up the stairs.lol poor guy, however I met a guy at the bar who is going to get me a NEW JOB at CATTERPILLAR! yay. union, insurance, benefits, 3 to 4 times the pay I get now, and holidays(paid) 401k. I am so excited. I may get on the night shift also.. that would be cool. I have to take my resume over MON, and fill out an App.
things are looking up again! yay me.
did anyone hear about the poor lady who was hit by a car at delmar and peoria? she was thrown 60 feet through the air, and the car took off. the worst part is that NO ONE EVEN STOPPED TO HELP HER!?!?!?! THEY JUST SWITCHED LANES AND WENT AROUND HER>>>WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE????? stop and put your hazard lights on so NO ONE ELSE HITS HER for christ's sake! and call an ambulance!