(no subject)
Birthing From Within Intro training, Portland Oregon, usa. feb 20-22
wow, well day one is over and it went really well, it's a large group
probably 25-30 women, way more then I was expecting. It felt like a fairly
light day until the last hour...and even that may have been light for
others but for me I am just now returning to this realm.
I feel like I have just been handed a map, or a route of my life for the
past few years. Have you heard of Joseph Cambell? Of the Hero's Journey? I
hadn't, here's a link with the run down of it.
http://www.mcli.dist.maricopa.edu/smc/journey/ref/summary.html
This link has a few peices missing from how she explained it that really
resonanted with me, but it's mainly the same.
Virginia, one of the women facilitating the workshop explained all this in
great detail, bringing in different archtypes and leading us on the
journey of the hero in pictures as well we drew it on a circle beginning
at the top with the call and moving into decent and returning to wholness
again at the top. As she explained it I could see peices of myself on my
journey. Then she asked us to write down a few journaling prompts. I
started writing in point form and as I did my heart was pounding and I got
really hot and realized if I kept going with this right here I would
probably explode and it was getting ready to go time not time to go deep
into something like this right then. But we had a questions period and I
went to add to what someone said and a big portion of it came rushing out,
I saw how deeply this story rang with me, Virgina was the one who said it
sounded like I'd been given a map. and yes it feels like I've been going
blindly doing amazing with no idea where I was headed and now I have a
route home, back to my tribe back to wholeness.
I wanted to write it out for myself, I am very excited to work more with this and to go deeper into healing with this template and story. yay. I look forward to living in
freedom.
I knew as I was on my wat south to this workshop that it would be educational and healing, I feel like it has started. I tried to read some birthing books a few months ago but the images were still to fresh they brought things up that I wasn't ready to face yet. Now this past week in prepartation for this weekend I have had to go through the Birthing From Within book, I am almost done reading it cover to cover, I have been making notes in my book underlining, exclaiming, renaming, reliving, forgiving, accepting, everything that happened in my birth, the good, bad, and ugly. I have been coming to terms that though it was a fairly easy and not a 'tramatic' birth, that things happened that made me angry, that took my power away that made me small and weak. Things that I have not come to terms with, have not been able to accept things I havn't known how to integrate. I am still working on it I think this is just the beginning of that work. I still have anger flair up at certain memories. And I am becoming aware how for almost two years now I have been putting that aside because in comparison to other births, mine wasn't gory or bad or tramatic, as I said. But those little things, the things that did happen. They are real and they are the things that I need to go back and face fully, hug that birthing darla and say you know what that sucks that that happened, I hear the pain in how you had that taken away from you. Validate my feelings and give justice and understanding to them. And then to celebrate all the good things, not just the fact that Phoenix was a fine and dandy baby upon arrival. But everything else that was positive, because sometimes those scars are bigger then all the true and real accomplishments that I achieved in my labor and birth.
I am excited to do this work, to go there and feel it and see it and celebrate and to feel complete in this process. I will create the space to do this for myself soon. (not here in a random strangers home though)
I am feeling proud and motivated
wow, well day one is over and it went really well, it's a large group
probably 25-30 women, way more then I was expecting. It felt like a fairly
light day until the last hour...and even that may have been light for
others but for me I am just now returning to this realm.
I feel like I have just been handed a map, or a route of my life for the
past few years. Have you heard of Joseph Cambell? Of the Hero's Journey? I
hadn't, here's a link with the run down of it.
http://www.mcli.dist.maricopa.edu/smc/journey/ref/summary.html
This link has a few peices missing from how she explained it that really
resonanted with me, but it's mainly the same.
Virginia, one of the women facilitating the workshop explained all this in
great detail, bringing in different archtypes and leading us on the
journey of the hero in pictures as well we drew it on a circle beginning
at the top with the call and moving into decent and returning to wholness
again at the top. As she explained it I could see peices of myself on my
journey. Then she asked us to write down a few journaling prompts. I
started writing in point form and as I did my heart was pounding and I got
really hot and realized if I kept going with this right here I would
probably explode and it was getting ready to go time not time to go deep
into something like this right then. But we had a questions period and I
went to add to what someone said and a big portion of it came rushing out,
I saw how deeply this story rang with me, Virgina was the one who said it
sounded like I'd been given a map. and yes it feels like I've been going
blindly doing amazing with no idea where I was headed and now I have a
route home, back to my tribe back to wholeness.
I wanted to write it out for myself, I am very excited to work more with this and to go deeper into healing with this template and story. yay. I look forward to living in
freedom.
I knew as I was on my wat south to this workshop that it would be educational and healing, I feel like it has started. I tried to read some birthing books a few months ago but the images were still to fresh they brought things up that I wasn't ready to face yet. Now this past week in prepartation for this weekend I have had to go through the Birthing From Within book, I am almost done reading it cover to cover, I have been making notes in my book underlining, exclaiming, renaming, reliving, forgiving, accepting, everything that happened in my birth, the good, bad, and ugly. I have been coming to terms that though it was a fairly easy and not a 'tramatic' birth, that things happened that made me angry, that took my power away that made me small and weak. Things that I have not come to terms with, have not been able to accept things I havn't known how to integrate. I am still working on it I think this is just the beginning of that work. I still have anger flair up at certain memories. And I am becoming aware how for almost two years now I have been putting that aside because in comparison to other births, mine wasn't gory or bad or tramatic, as I said. But those little things, the things that did happen. They are real and they are the things that I need to go back and face fully, hug that birthing darla and say you know what that sucks that that happened, I hear the pain in how you had that taken away from you. Validate my feelings and give justice and understanding to them. And then to celebrate all the good things, not just the fact that Phoenix was a fine and dandy baby upon arrival. But everything else that was positive, because sometimes those scars are bigger then all the true and real accomplishments that I achieved in my labor and birth.
I am excited to do this work, to go there and feel it and see it and celebrate and to feel complete in this process. I will create the space to do this for myself soon. (not here in a random strangers home though)
I am feeling proud and motivated