(no subject)
My word, so much beauty in the night.
Last evening was fantastic. Strange and delerious and wonderful.
Of paticular I reconciled with my brain hormone war, this cycle is so much better, Huzaah for evening primrose and the liver cleanse. It never ceases to amaze me what herbs, dear plants from the earth can do for me. This month I was not a raging at all or even irritable. It's due anyday now and yesterday was the first sign of it's forth coming. I went from feeling totally fine stable and excited about Jules and I to then BAM I'm flat on my back scared out of my mind and my heart wants to hide and and theres no way theres any sanity in this relationship, what was I thinking ect ect....mind looping scatter! head for the hills! CRY! CRY! I vowed to take space from him until the eve when we have plans to attend Dis'o. Overwhlmed, I started writing, pouring out in detail which peices I am afraid of, and my hearts returning to normal, follow that up with a breanna chat and I know I can move through this fear with love at my center, hold strong acknowledge and volia, falling in loves so worth it. I'm at the beans' decompressing, breathing and feeling good.
Jules calls, and I soar, dinner? @ attengard, his whole crew? Absolutely, I love when I face things head on, done and done, instead of showering I tell him all that. and then my ride is calling where are you we're leaving.
Off we go to Abbotsford new massive venue...a stadium. Wierd, just totally weird. You Say Party! We Say Die! Amazing group, not their night to shine though. Becky was brilliant as always, poor Stephens bass was feeding back for three songs straight making us feel we may be having heart palpitations. The crowd didn't get it, I was so anchored in though they didn't faze me as they once might have. Their was so much light pouring through Becky was it brilliant to witness. Danced divine.
Our small group of big heart disperssed quicky after the set. Back down town, feeling over peopled in the Attengard and very sensitive to all the swirling energies. I bailed early, had a appointment with Franklyn at 1 anyways. It was exactly what I needed the long beautiful dark drive through our favorite road in Abby. Stopped in the dark in the silence and shared that. So much love for him, so much ease and connection. The truck was fixed so we went over the mountain on the gravel roads safely doing high speedlimits and grinning like fools. Enter Clayburn Village school hall... it was a wedding. I like cleaning weddings, theres always food left over and teh energy is so pleasent. I said to frankyln last night I'd much rather clean up after a wedding then attend. so we cleaned and sang rediculous songs ("when i was a little bitty baby my mama would rock me in the cradel"! in voices you have never heard!) he tried teaching me chop sticks on the piano, much delirium setting in, it is 3am after all. Downtown again and who is that but Stephen O'shea stumbling up to greet us. I walked him home eventually and had good talks, new talks, ones in which I am not crying at the end. I am in a band now, we will play simple simple quiet songs that will bore people to tears and we will love it. I'm on bass.
5:30 Home in my bed snuggled in with Sullivan, freshly arrived off the boat back in to my happy arms. and then ...beep beep beep. 7:40 comes all to quickly. Now I sit here at work, not much to do awaiting my clients. Some serious sleep is going to happen this afternoon.
And here's my client now.
be well.
Last evening was fantastic. Strange and delerious and wonderful.
Of paticular I reconciled with my brain hormone war, this cycle is so much better, Huzaah for evening primrose and the liver cleanse. It never ceases to amaze me what herbs, dear plants from the earth can do for me. This month I was not a raging at all or even irritable. It's due anyday now and yesterday was the first sign of it's forth coming. I went from feeling totally fine stable and excited about Jules and I to then BAM I'm flat on my back scared out of my mind and my heart wants to hide and and theres no way theres any sanity in this relationship, what was I thinking ect ect....mind looping scatter! head for the hills! CRY! CRY! I vowed to take space from him until the eve when we have plans to attend Dis'o. Overwhlmed, I started writing, pouring out in detail which peices I am afraid of, and my hearts returning to normal, follow that up with a breanna chat and I know I can move through this fear with love at my center, hold strong acknowledge and volia, falling in loves so worth it. I'm at the beans' decompressing, breathing and feeling good.
Jules calls, and I soar, dinner? @ attengard, his whole crew? Absolutely, I love when I face things head on, done and done, instead of showering I tell him all that. and then my ride is calling where are you we're leaving.
Off we go to Abbotsford new massive venue...a stadium. Wierd, just totally weird. You Say Party! We Say Die! Amazing group, not their night to shine though. Becky was brilliant as always, poor Stephens bass was feeding back for three songs straight making us feel we may be having heart palpitations. The crowd didn't get it, I was so anchored in though they didn't faze me as they once might have. Their was so much light pouring through Becky was it brilliant to witness. Danced divine.
Our small group of big heart disperssed quicky after the set. Back down town, feeling over peopled in the Attengard and very sensitive to all the swirling energies. I bailed early, had a appointment with Franklyn at 1 anyways. It was exactly what I needed the long beautiful dark drive through our favorite road in Abby. Stopped in the dark in the silence and shared that. So much love for him, so much ease and connection. The truck was fixed so we went over the mountain on the gravel roads safely doing high speedlimits and grinning like fools. Enter Clayburn Village school hall... it was a wedding. I like cleaning weddings, theres always food left over and teh energy is so pleasent. I said to frankyln last night I'd much rather clean up after a wedding then attend. so we cleaned and sang rediculous songs ("when i was a little bitty baby my mama would rock me in the cradel"! in voices you have never heard!) he tried teaching me chop sticks on the piano, much delirium setting in, it is 3am after all. Downtown again and who is that but Stephen O'shea stumbling up to greet us. I walked him home eventually and had good talks, new talks, ones in which I am not crying at the end. I am in a band now, we will play simple simple quiet songs that will bore people to tears and we will love it. I'm on bass.
5:30 Home in my bed snuggled in with Sullivan, freshly arrived off the boat back in to my happy arms. and then ...beep beep beep. 7:40 comes all to quickly. Now I sit here at work, not much to do awaiting my clients. Some serious sleep is going to happen this afternoon.
And here's my client now.
be well.