(no subject)
im sitting at beaners doing everything i shouldnt be doing. i really should be sitting here starting some papers or studying but instead im getting some random songs that i could easily fall in love with. i just want to sit around in my pajamas relaxing not worrying about a single thing. but of course that gets boring. i need to kick myself in the ass and start getting everything done.
i finally turned in my application to japan. i have a feeling that goal isnt quite attainable yet but hey you never know. i have a chance. a very slight chance.
sign language is getting even harder to learn i grasp it for one day then i lose it again. this is going to be the only class i take in sign i guess it just wasnt meant for me to understand. i feel bad for looking at people or something. i just like to listen. its weird when someone talks to you and you arent quite comfortable with them yet and you arent sure if you are supposed to make eye contact or not. its a weird situation....im listening but i dont want to look at you lol. i dunno am i the only one that does that?
i feel like im stuck at this point in my life. and i guess thats alright for just a little longer. someday i will have to move on and make some advancements. i dont want to be here in lansing at lcc for long working at sams club. yah i want to go somewhere do something make a difference to someone.
i finally heard from emily. it made my day. i miss her so much. it seems like i really did lose all of my friends. but its alright because if they are going to just forget me like that i guess they werent really much of friends in the first place. im not one to hold a grudge so if these "friends" ever want to talk to me again i will be there with an open mind and heart because i miss them all.
being out of highschool i guess that is what made a lot of my friends go. but i hated highschool. so thats alright once again.
i had to go to everett and it was crazy to acknowledge that i spent four years there. it didnt seem like that long but looking back i really had so many things happen. it wasnt the time of my life but it wasnt the worst. we all make mistakes. i keep wondering if this is where i am supposed to be. i feel like i should be someplace far away with everything new to be learned. instead im here....stuck
its cool.
im comfortable.
i want change though
Being with fish is still amazing. im afriad but i dont think that will change. but who knows anything and everything can change. maybe i will someday live the fantasy i once made up. i noticed that i have no one guiding me. maybe thats why i feel stuck. i should be at central. anywhere but here.
yah im a complaining loser. but eh.
last year around this time was amazing. lol all the exploring we did. going to random haunted places Cory butt always took a knife with him like it would help with ghosts. heh heh good times. i want to go exploring. today was a pretty day. maybe tonight i can get josh to play outside with me.
i just want to have fun and feel like i belong.
i finally turned in my application to japan. i have a feeling that goal isnt quite attainable yet but hey you never know. i have a chance. a very slight chance.
sign language is getting even harder to learn i grasp it for one day then i lose it again. this is going to be the only class i take in sign i guess it just wasnt meant for me to understand. i feel bad for looking at people or something. i just like to listen. its weird when someone talks to you and you arent quite comfortable with them yet and you arent sure if you are supposed to make eye contact or not. its a weird situation....im listening but i dont want to look at you lol. i dunno am i the only one that does that?
i feel like im stuck at this point in my life. and i guess thats alright for just a little longer. someday i will have to move on and make some advancements. i dont want to be here in lansing at lcc for long working at sams club. yah i want to go somewhere do something make a difference to someone.
i finally heard from emily. it made my day. i miss her so much. it seems like i really did lose all of my friends. but its alright because if they are going to just forget me like that i guess they werent really much of friends in the first place. im not one to hold a grudge so if these "friends" ever want to talk to me again i will be there with an open mind and heart because i miss them all.
being out of highschool i guess that is what made a lot of my friends go. but i hated highschool. so thats alright once again.
i had to go to everett and it was crazy to acknowledge that i spent four years there. it didnt seem like that long but looking back i really had so many things happen. it wasnt the time of my life but it wasnt the worst. we all make mistakes. i keep wondering if this is where i am supposed to be. i feel like i should be someplace far away with everything new to be learned. instead im here....stuck
its cool.
im comfortable.
i want change though
Being with fish is still amazing. im afriad but i dont think that will change. but who knows anything and everything can change. maybe i will someday live the fantasy i once made up. i noticed that i have no one guiding me. maybe thats why i feel stuck. i should be at central. anywhere but here.
yah im a complaining loser. but eh.
last year around this time was amazing. lol all the exploring we did. going to random haunted places Cory butt always took a knife with him like it would help with ghosts. heh heh good times. i want to go exploring. today was a pretty day. maybe tonight i can get josh to play outside with me.
i just want to have fun and feel like i belong.