Surreality

[skasumi]

So, it's 12:56 am. I decided to go downstairs for a snack when I noticed my dad had the lights on in the back room. The back room is actually an addition onto the garage (so it's in the backyard) and my dad uses it as a music room and on the weekends you can find him out there smoking and drinking Jack & Coke. Well, I went out there and he was watching his 10 year high school reunion that he had taped himself. I guess some other woman who was into drama in high school volunteered to be the "interviewer" and they interviewed almost every damn person there. Here's where it started to get a bit surreal for me: it was July of 1988, actually one day after my father's 28th birthday. This is significant because I was born in August of 1988, so my mother was almost nine months pregnant at this reunion (I was actually born 2 weeks past my due date, so really, she was about 8 months and 2 weeks at the reunion). I've never seen my mother on camera while she was pregnant with either of her children before. But there she was, in all her pregnant glory, wearing a traditional 80s inspired pink short-sleeved dress, her hair teased out to no end, and a cutesy smile plastered on her face. When she first spoke, I almost didn't recognize it. The same goes for when they finally interviewed my dad, it just didn't sound like them. I guess you never realize how much different a person can sound from the age of 28 to 48. The oddest thing for me was hearing them talk about me. Back then they didn't know me, they didn't know what kind of girl I'd turn out to be. They just knew their first child was on the way, something that no one is really ever truly ready for. When my dad was asked about the newest addition coming to the family, he proudly declared that they were expecting a baby girl and they had already planned to name her Courtney Leanne and they couldn't be more excited. Maybe I'm just being overly sentimental, but it's watching something like that that makes me wonder if I lived up to every expectation they had of me, if when I was born and they got to know me that I was everything they hoped for. My dad has always told me how badly he wanted girls, not boys, because he felt they were easier to care for and were dainty and petite. Sometimes I wonder if he got cheated out of that. My sister wishes she was a boy, dresses like a boy, and eats like a boy (tripe ew.) Yes, I wear dresses, make-up, and act about as girly as possible, but there's nothing really dainty or lady-like about me. I have a rather... er, not-girly voice and a big mouth. I cuss worse than most men and that's pretty sad. Or awesome, depending on how you look at it.

Hm, I don't want to start throwing a pity party for myself, I just felt like getting that out of my thoughts. This is shaping up to be a pretty boring weekend, but I'm actually okay with that. I need some time to just chill and get simple stuff around the house done. I also realized I have to start my paper for Art History, but for once I'm actually excited about this class. I decided to do my paper on a painting by Frida Kahlo entitled The Two Fridas. She's my favorite painter, not really because of her techniques or anything, but because of her unique style and the way she expresses things. If you've seen The Two Fridas, you know exactly what I'm talking about. So, yeah, I'm pretty happy to write this paper.

Alright, it's past 1am now. Time to play Guild Wars. Yes, I am that awesome.