FTW?!
ahhh, fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me. i did it again, i trusted paden, again, and i got burned. i love that i fear emotional pain and broken trust more than almost anything, and when i pop my head out of my little rabbit hole, i get it bitten off, everytime. so, i was supposed to meet paden on sunday to teach him a little bit about how to harness his abilities some. and in true paden fashion he never called. so im online that night and who decides to call, but little miss paden. like always theres an excuse, he had only just got back and there was a hockey game. well, it doesnt change the fact that some prior notification would have been nice. that way i wouldnt have wasted my entire day waiting. so, i then ask him to get online so we can talk. he says hell be on in a few mins. and two hours or so later i get another text saying sorry, i was writing a paper and didnt get the chance to talk. FTW?! he burned me again! so, now i sit here, still relatively irritated. i know im over reacting. i shouldnt be this angry, cause paden did what paden always does, he disappoints. im so angry because i was seeing more than i should have. i need to stop trusting that. i know that the visions are only chances, but i always believe that theyre real, that theyll happen and the world will be full of rainbows and kittens. fuck.
in other news, my birthday was complete and utter crap! the day doesnt get the chance to start and some stupid loon decides to shoot large holes into VA TECH. again, FTW?! apparently the kids girlfriend broke up with him so he completely lost it and decided to take out as much of the campus as possible. i wonder what was said in that room when he showed up... did he talk or scream at the people he was shooting? did he realize he was doing it? did he care? so, needless to say, the day was quite the bust for me, and many others. i guess im pretty selfish getting angry at this kid for blowing holes in the school on my birthday, cause now 4-16 will always be remembered as VA TECH day. but still, it was my birthday. oh how i love the undermind and all the crazy things that pass through it, like random jealousy. but i guess thats why its trapped in the undermind, and not allowes to see anything but its own greed.
i have to go to class, hopefully i can pay attention around the dizziness, cause this vision needs to come soon, that way i can get on with my life!
in other news, my birthday was complete and utter crap! the day doesnt get the chance to start and some stupid loon decides to shoot large holes into VA TECH. again, FTW?! apparently the kids girlfriend broke up with him so he completely lost it and decided to take out as much of the campus as possible. i wonder what was said in that room when he showed up... did he talk or scream at the people he was shooting? did he realize he was doing it? did he care? so, needless to say, the day was quite the bust for me, and many others. i guess im pretty selfish getting angry at this kid for blowing holes in the school on my birthday, cause now 4-16 will always be remembered as VA TECH day. but still, it was my birthday. oh how i love the undermind and all the crazy things that pass through it, like random jealousy. but i guess thats why its trapped in the undermind, and not allowes to see anything but its own greed.
i have to go to class, hopefully i can pay attention around the dizziness, cause this vision needs to come soon, that way i can get on with my life!