No rest for the lazy. Part 1.
This has been an unbelievable stressful week. My quest for self-improvement took a stand still. I pretty much indulged myself in the same behaviors that cause me so much distress.
The weekend started off well enough. I cleaned my room and did my laundry, which may seem pretty pedistrian, but for me is an accomplishment to be celebrated. I knew this week was going to be tough on account that I had a huge paper and presentation due Wednesday.
I procrastinated as per usual, but I knew if I started to work on it Monday it would be fine by Wednesday. I've also external responsabilities unexpectedly placed on myself. Little things I like to call Mother Missions. I had to go to the Bolivian Consutulant to get a visa for the December trip, pick up lights for my father's bathroom in his house in Colombia, and pick up my mother's watch at Mayor's in sunset place. I was also restarting my diet and excercise routine which has been absent for two weeks. Sunday night I prepared myself mentally and spiritually.
Monday morning my alarm went off. I knew my paper was due Wednesday, but because I knew I had nothing prepared anxiety hit me. As the alarm was blaring I asked myself an irrational question, "What if she askes for it today?" Not wanting to face the improbable I got up and turned off my Alarm and slept till twelve. I ate my breakfest keeping with my diet consisted of two hardboiled eggs (that were apperantly rotten because they were three weeks old), two pieces of turkey bacon, and half a grapefruit. I had an overwhemling sense of defeat. Still, my resolve told me "missing class will not cause me to fail my other responsabilities!" Just then I got a phone call from my friend Adam. Focusing on other people's problems is one of the ways I defocus on myself.
He had left his keys in his father's car and needed to get to his shrink appointment. I told him that I had to get to the Bolivian Constulant, and he said the appointment would only be a half hour. He would then accompany me to my errand. I got all the things I needed and picked him up. His appointment lasted an hour, and I had forgotten my passport at my house. It was 3 O'clock and seemed too late to go. While I was waiting for Adam to get his head shrunk I did manage to go to Mayor's to pick up my mother's watch. A seemingly minor accomplishment, and not enough to make me feel better.
I dropped Adam off at his house, and I went home to eat lunch. A burger patty with salad and another dreaded grapefruit. I figured I could still eat right and go to the gym. I went back to Adam's house to take him to the gym with me. Instead we played Madden football. Video games are another weakness of mine. Even though I beat Adam soundly, all seemed lost to me.
I needed to go to a meeting, and share on my unmanagability before it got much worse. After the meeting I felt better. I had gotten the strength and hope I needed to correct my path. Unfortunatly I got a call from Jimmy a.k.a Cheeks Chowder a.k.a Sheep Bopeep half boy half sheep. He wanted to hang out, but I had to work on my essay. I ignored the latter and chose to go eat at the ale house. I broke my diet with nachos, and went home to watch football.
The next day I had work, and I knew that afterwards I had to stay up all night and write the essay. I got home from work at 5:30 and slept till 9 p.m. I researched for my paper and wrote until 6:30 in the morning. It wasn't even close to being done. I emailed my teacher, but made no excuses. She said it would be ok for me to do it Friday.
Wednesday I missed class again. I didn't go to the constulant again. I didn't eat right or go to the gym again. I didn't work on my paper again. I wasted the day again. All of these agains were driving me insane. The pain was getting great and I knew the next half of the week was do or die....
The weekend started off well enough. I cleaned my room and did my laundry, which may seem pretty pedistrian, but for me is an accomplishment to be celebrated. I knew this week was going to be tough on account that I had a huge paper and presentation due Wednesday.
I procrastinated as per usual, but I knew if I started to work on it Monday it would be fine by Wednesday. I've also external responsabilities unexpectedly placed on myself. Little things I like to call Mother Missions. I had to go to the Bolivian Consutulant to get a visa for the December trip, pick up lights for my father's bathroom in his house in Colombia, and pick up my mother's watch at Mayor's in sunset place. I was also restarting my diet and excercise routine which has been absent for two weeks. Sunday night I prepared myself mentally and spiritually.
Monday morning my alarm went off. I knew my paper was due Wednesday, but because I knew I had nothing prepared anxiety hit me. As the alarm was blaring I asked myself an irrational question, "What if she askes for it today?" Not wanting to face the improbable I got up and turned off my Alarm and slept till twelve. I ate my breakfest keeping with my diet consisted of two hardboiled eggs (that were apperantly rotten because they were three weeks old), two pieces of turkey bacon, and half a grapefruit. I had an overwhemling sense of defeat. Still, my resolve told me "missing class will not cause me to fail my other responsabilities!" Just then I got a phone call from my friend Adam. Focusing on other people's problems is one of the ways I defocus on myself.
He had left his keys in his father's car and needed to get to his shrink appointment. I told him that I had to get to the Bolivian Constulant, and he said the appointment would only be a half hour. He would then accompany me to my errand. I got all the things I needed and picked him up. His appointment lasted an hour, and I had forgotten my passport at my house. It was 3 O'clock and seemed too late to go. While I was waiting for Adam to get his head shrunk I did manage to go to Mayor's to pick up my mother's watch. A seemingly minor accomplishment, and not enough to make me feel better.
I dropped Adam off at his house, and I went home to eat lunch. A burger patty with salad and another dreaded grapefruit. I figured I could still eat right and go to the gym. I went back to Adam's house to take him to the gym with me. Instead we played Madden football. Video games are another weakness of mine. Even though I beat Adam soundly, all seemed lost to me.
I needed to go to a meeting, and share on my unmanagability before it got much worse. After the meeting I felt better. I had gotten the strength and hope I needed to correct my path. Unfortunatly I got a call from Jimmy a.k.a Cheeks Chowder a.k.a Sheep Bopeep half boy half sheep. He wanted to hang out, but I had to work on my essay. I ignored the latter and chose to go eat at the ale house. I broke my diet with nachos, and went home to watch football.
The next day I had work, and I knew that afterwards I had to stay up all night and write the essay. I got home from work at 5:30 and slept till 9 p.m. I researched for my paper and wrote until 6:30 in the morning. It wasn't even close to being done. I emailed my teacher, but made no excuses. She said it would be ok for me to do it Friday.
Wednesday I missed class again. I didn't go to the constulant again. I didn't eat right or go to the gym again. I didn't work on my paper again. I wasted the day again. All of these agains were driving me insane. The pain was getting great and I knew the next half of the week was do or die....